Fear tears through my being
stealing away moments of my life
beats of my heart
fractions of my soul.
Irrational yet oh-so-real feelings.
My eyes widen,
my heart pounds,
my senses heighten.
Prickly pin points of heat flood my face
the bottom drops out of my stomach.
I want to run,
to smash something
but I can’t.
How would that look?
I want to climb up in my mommy’s lap
and be comforted.
But she isn’t there….. never was.
So I push it down and try to go on,
telling my self that I am o.k.
Stuffing and pushing,
standing on it
until my mind feels like it will explode
from the fuzzy nebulous pressure.
Then I cry and everything get better….
for a while.