No More Panic > News > The Bus – by Liz

The Bus – by Liz

I’m only down the road and it feels like miles from home
I don’t go far these days ” I never like to roam.
I’m waiting at the bus stop, and my legs they just won’t go
My heart is filled with panic; oh I hope that it won’t show.

I see the people watching me, I know they’re going to stare.
I feel so unreal right now, as if I am not there.
The traffic sounds so loud it thumps through my head
I feel so embarrassed, I can feel my face turn red.

I’m shaking and I’m sweating, my legs have turned to mush

I think I need the Loo right now, I feel my tummy rush.
I don’t feel too well, infact I feel a little queer.
It feels wrong to be far from home, I wish I wasn’t here.

But I have to do this, I just want to be free
I can’t be a prisoner for life, that’s not good for me.
And so like all the others, I get on the bus and sit
No time to change my mind, I’m here so that is it.

Time to relax now, treat the journey as a rest
I’m here, and I’m frightened but completing my quest.
I’m breathing very deeply am I afraid to let it show
My heart is thumping loudly, I think it’s going to blow.

I’m thinking lots of thoughts and not one of them is good
I feel so really stupid, I wish someone understood.
I’ll make up some games until my symptoms have passed
I’ve got to keep my mind busy, it will make the time go fast

I’m starting to calm down a bit, I read the writing on the wall.
Saver tickets, bus stop plans. I don’t feel so bad at all.
Give the lady in front blue hair, the man behind her, black
The little boy can have red hair and I’ll dress him in a sack.

My games kept me busy, they gave me something to do
I hope I behaved alright. Did my panic show through?
I’m feeling really tired now, I think it’s time to rest.
The journey wasn’t perfect, but I did try my best.

Now the journeys over, I’m breathing in fresh air
I didn’t want to do it as it gave me quite a scare.
But now that I’ve been brave, I want to shout out loud
I’ve taken little steps, and that makes me so proud.