Im 25 years old and sometimes I feel so low and edgy it feels as though I cant breath! Ive been trying to work out why I feel this way and there are a few reasons – when I was younger I was mentally and physically abused by step father for years – I turned to drugs when I finally escaped from my hellish home – I finally found happiness many years down the line and fell pregnant only to nearly die giving birth due to contracting pre eclampsia which led to an emergency casercaen which led to horrfic post natal depression
….This is where I am now, thank god the post natal has gone but has been replaced with anxiety attacks. Mt attacks get really bad as I’m due on a period – I’ve changed my diet and take vitamins regularly to beat the demons but still think crazy things, for example today my little girl was under my feet and I was dishing dinner up and had a saucepan of boiling water with peas in it and in my head I thought what would happen if I tipped this over her head!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Or silly things like what would happen if I grabbed her and chucked her!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It does my head in BADLY. Or I lay there at night and start thinking about death – about my baby dying, my mum dying, my boyfriend, etc etc. Or if my little brothers out I think the worst things ever that could have happened to him. I’m always thinking what if, what if, what bloody if. I feel this web site is going to help me and I’m willing to help anyone in return if I can – I could talk for a week but I don’t want to bore you all.
