I’ve always been a worrier, always scared at what people may think of me. But it never got me down until recently. I had my first “attack” in 2003. The doctor said it was SVT, caused or triggered by panic. He explained about how ancient man would hunt dangerous animals, and said we’ve still got the genetic code for this – but in our modern lives anything can trigger it off
This attack had been brought on by chemicals, I had taken a bad combination of hayfever medicine and that night my legs began shaking, my heart racing. It was a living nightmare. I had my second attack whilst my girlfriend and I had some troubles. It felt as if we were about to split up and my heart just jolted. I calmed myself down but it happened again. On the 3rd jolt I hung up the phone and asked my mum what was up with me. Worried over my heart. Mild attacks came and went in the coming years. Generally I was a really happy guy. Friendly and helpful everything was good. Then I got into university. I was thrown into a group of people who had already formed friendships. This was when I started to feel shy. A year later (now) and I’m currently enduring a series of anxiety attacks. This time triggered from a slight injury I sustained in my left arm. Anxiety has told me the pain is also in my right hand (tests showed that it isn’t), it also told me my leg is weak. But I’m actually quite fine. And such is the power of anxiety and panic attacks, it has snowballed minor problems into something much worse in my mind. The odd thing is I don’t get these attacks from presentations, when I graduated. It was all fine then. I just get my attacks from worry about the future, or worrying about my health. I’ll be okay once my body stops hurting. I’ve just got to ride it out over the next week or so. But I’ve decided to seek help. Medication, psychiatrists, whatever it takes so I don’t feel like this again.
