Just need some advice for this one OCD episode Im having

basically one of my friends is autistic and quite religious as well. i became agnostic so when i told him, he made it seem like he was ok with it when he wasn't. he even threatened to tell my parents before he apologised. the thing is he seems really insincere with what he says and i dont trust him because of that. my OCD episode is basically me worrying that im a bad person for not liking him and not trusting him. with autism, its normal if the person seems insincere but even knowing that its hard to forgive the things he has done because of the thought that he might really be insincere. he's also had a history of being weirdly stalkerish towards me which puts me off further. the thing is i believe that he genuinely probably is nice and empathetic and its just his autism that makes him seem like hes not but i still cant get past stuff that hes done and i cannot trust him fully. another part of this OCD episode is the fear that I don't like him for not making me look cool infront of others. I've had a history of doing stuff like this which is why it seems so real. another thing is that I'm also now worried that what if I am autistic too. Ignoring the fact that I can understand social cues and stuff like sarcasm and have never had any trouble making friends growing up, I still feel like it might be possible. I don't like making eye contact but that might be because I'm kinda socially anxious and worry about what others think of me. ive also felt like i didnt really belong with the norm a couple of times but again, that might just have been my socially anxious mind making me think that. I don't know what to do, please please give me advice. shall i ignore these thoughts? shall i pursue them until i find an answer? the reason why i cant just let go of these thoughts is because i dont want to be mean to the guy and be in the wrong for it and because i dont want to turn out to be autistic and cut off contact with another autist for things that he might not have control over. I should also mention i cant seek therapy for OCD right now for personal reasons i cant get into.