Not sure whether to continue counselling - any advice?

Hi everyone

Ive had 6 sessions with my counsellor now & he hasnt mentioned it ending so Im assuming it will continue for as long as necessary (it is through the nhs but I referred myself for it). However Im not sure how effective it is. Its helped me to talk about things that are bothering me & he has made me think more clearly but the problem is I dont think its going to get me any further. My main issues are the fact that I hate myself, I dont feel like I deserve to be happy & that I dont know how to cope with certain situations, & it all seems to link back to being abused both as a child & as an adult. Hes helped me realise this but its brought me down to rock bottom, & nobody seems to know how to change it & lift me back up. Ive done cbt before but although I can think in my head that Im thinking irrational thoughts etc I just dont feel it. The counsellor even said last week that he thinks Ill have a 'lightbulb moment' & realise Im not so bad after all but if thats the case then what do I do in the meantime?! I increased my meds again 3 weeks ago which Im hoping will help but Im very aware that I cant just rely on meds to sort me out long term.

When I saw my gp last week he was going to refer me to the community mental health team but couldnt as Im already having this counselling. So should I go back & say Ill finish the counselling so I can see what else is available? But if theres a waiting list I couldnt cope with having no support at all :weep: I just dont know what to do for the best.

Im sorry for the essay, didnt realise it would be this long x

Hi there x
If you feel some benefit, if youve put into place new behaviours that help, and if they make you feel like there is light at the end of the tunnel, then continue.
Im so sorry youve had to suffer abuse as a child and adult, truely horrific. I would ask for that referal to the mental health team asap. By the time your appointment comes through, the councelling will probably be over. I hope it helps you.
Best wishes, Paula x

Thanks Paula, I didnt think of that. Ill see if I can be referred & still see my counsellor in the meantime. I still cant see the light at the end of the tunnel but I need any support I can get right now so Ill stick with it for now. I cant get any worse so it cant do any harm x