Re: Tocophobic,emetophobic and yet pregnant
Hi Andrea, I just wanted to say I think you are incredibly brave - to be facing your fears like this, and writing so honestly about your feelings.
Well done and good luck!
Angel xx
Re: Tocophobic,emetophobic and yet pregnant
hey andrea!
omg, im so so proud of you! :hugs:
this is wonderful! and your so right, just take each minute...breath,listen to your breath and know that at this very minute...you are alive.....:yesyes: :yahoo:
Re: Tocophobic,emetophobic and yet pregnant
Hi Andrea
It's great you're feeling so positive, keep it up!
:yesyes::yesyes:
Re: Tocophobic,emetophobic and yet pregnant
hi andie!
ok, just spoke to a new doctor- who was fabulous!!!! hes now my new doc!
ok, he said death in pregnancy is almost unheard of these days. he said that docs get a report every 3 years of pregnancy/birth deaths and why thy happened- its for 2 reasons...one is that the woman already had a very serious illness when she fell pregnant and it made the pregnancy too hard,or she was srtuck by lighteningor something along that line..something which we have to live with the possibility pregnant or not....so there you go, it really helped put my mind to ease to hear this,and i hope it might help you a little too.....
im going to go into councelling next month for this and hopefully will grow some guts to start trying a few months later.....there are a lot of pregnancy support places, so you should check in your area...also, my 'new' doc said if you feel a panic attack/anxiety attack coming on then there are very safe meds you can take to help settle you down.
keep posting!!! :hugs: :hugs: :hugs:
Re: Tocophobic,emetophobic and yet pregnant
I never had the 2 phobias you had though so take my comment with a pinch of salt if you like. In the early stages the exhaustion can be so bad that you are quite naturally more likely to be way more tense. Having a MC is also a horrible thing to go through. I suffered an ectopic personally before my son was born.They do say desensitisation is good so I hope you start to feel better soon. Best of luck with you pregnancy.
T x
Re: Tocophobic,emetophobic and yet pregnant
Hello,
I have just joined this forum this morning, the reason I am feeling so desperate and desolate. I have just read your message and you give me hope that I am not alone. I am crying as I type this.
You see I was diagnosed with tocophobia 2 years ago, after having 3 abortions (which I will never come to terms with, by the way), I have had a year of therapy and thought I was ready. I too am now 6 weeks pregnant, I found out 2 weeks ago and I am absoluntely terrified and feel that I will not get through this. I feel like I am going crazy and NO ONE can help me. I just dont know what to do with myself. I cannot even look at my body, I feel disgusted with myself and I am so depressed, no one understands what I am going through. My friend tells me to keep thinking of the end result, but I cant as I cannot associate what is inside me as a baby, I just see as something that is taking over my body and I do not feel I will get through it and see it to the end, I cannot think beyond now. (I am even scared I am going to die),I just feel like I have lost control of my life and my body and I am terrified what is going to happen to me.
I had a miscarriage 2 months ago and was so devistated, and was so desperate for a baby... but now... all of a sudden, I have no maternal feelings what so ever. I cant get my head around that.
I have a loving husband and a home and a dog that I love like a baby.... But I am not normal, why is this happening to me, I am petrified.... I am having panic attacks.
Sorry to go on, bet any one that reads this will think I am crazy.
Joy xx
Re: Tocophobic,emetophobic and yet pregnant
Hello,
I'm so sorry to hear that you lost your baby, I know how that feels cause it happened to me. Like you say it is the worst thing that can happen because you just dont know how to feel, and its not until it's gone that you want it so badly. I felt so guilty for wanting it to be gone out of my body, I felt like I brought it on... But of course I didnt, it was just purely down to nature. I do know that.
I was desparate to get pregnant again, and now i am after just 2 months, I have forgotten how much I wanted to keep it. Now all I want is for it to be gone again.
I hope that you are ok and you will get pregnant again and conquer this fear..
When I was trying, it was so confusing, I felt relief not being pregnant, but at the same time devastated that I wasnt pregnant. Either way, I lost.
You are right, all people tell me, including my husband, is that it is normal to feel anxious... But little do they know what I am going through... At this point I dont think I will be able to go through it.... I just want it gone.... I cant cope with it being there..... I just want to feel normal again. I am too afraid to go out and hate going to work, because I feel that everyone is looking at me. I know I have got it bad.
I wish I could see it as something that I could love, I wish I could hold my tummy like normal pregnant women.
Thank you for listening to me xxx
Re: Tocophobic,emetophobic and yet pregnant
Hello again,
I think that you are wise to go and seek help before you try again. I had 3 terminations before I sought help.... and believe me, it is not something I am proud of., I am sickened by what I've done.
I sought help and was diagnosed with Tocophobia and have been having Psychotherapy for a year... It s strange because I found out I was pregnant the day after it fininshed. At the time of the therapy, it gave me hope and I thought I could do it. Trouble is, I just dont know what it is like until I am actually in the situation... I think that is the same with any phobia. Now it is happening all over again.. the therapy has made me stronger though. This will never ever go away. All I can do is take it hour by hour which is what I am doing. It does help to talk about it and it helps to know that I am not the only one... because it does feel that way.
I cant think about the next few months or even if it is born, I can only think of here and now and that is all I can do. I just hope I can get through it thats all. Had a chat with my husband today, and he thinks it is because I dont want his baby inside me. I WISH HE COULD UNDERSTAND. Its not about him, it's me. Things are tough just now.
You should do what you have to do to get through it and a good doctor WILL try to understand and get you help, because they have to. Pychotherapy is good and even if it works a little it is worth it. But you shouldnt be afraid to go to your doctor.
Keep in touch
Joy xx