Fear of being sick or fear of dying?

Hi again

I always seem to be pondering about things.

I know that my health anxiety is about me being scared of dying, not the illness itself if you know what I mean.

I don't seem to be able to accept that we are all going to die one day. I honestly, make myself believe that at some point in my life time there will be a life longing pill or something like that. I have spent too many nights crying and wondering what is the meaning of us being here and why are we meant to have these loving relationships with people just for it to become nothing? I am agnostic btw, I would love nothing more than to believe in a higher being and a heaven but feel I don't have enough evidence that that exists to convince myself.

I also get scared of nuclear war or an asteroid hitting us - hence don't read about anything related to those things ever! Anyone else have this?

Hope you all have a good evening

Hi iamstrong my health anxiety is all because of a fear of dying as well.

I've been thinking about it a lot recently and what is my fear really for?

Is it for the people I leave behind and their sadness or is it because I'm more sad for myself that I won't be around to continue experiencing things? The latter just feels a bit selfish though.

I'm not religious so think I believe once you are gone you are gone so in a way it's stupid for me to worry about missing out on things as I won't know anything about it if you know what I mean. Therefore why make myself miserable dwelling on it whilst I am lucky enough to be alive. I should really make the most of every day as its a gift.

I'm about to become a dad soon as well so think its directly linked to a fear that I won't be around for my child. My therapist has said its very common for a lot of parents to realise their mortality much more when they have a kid

Hi Arnie

Congratulations on "your" pregnancy! I have 2 young boys - 1 year and 3 years old and they are my life and my everything. You will love becoming a father ;)

I think the same way you do - is it because of the ones left behind or because I want to stay here. I think mine is mainly that I don't ever want to lose the love and time I have with my family, especially my boys.

I will say that the way I dealt with anxiety before the boys arrived was to just think - if you are going to die, you are going to die and that's it. And I actually dealt with it really well that way. Especially with things such as flying etc.

When my first son arrived, it wasn't that easy anymore because suddenly I couldn't accept that I was going to die because I felt that he really needs me and I don't want to make him upset. I have a fear of flying amongst other things and can't recall the amount of times I have been in a plane and during turbulence thinking "how selfish of my husband and myself to want to go on holiday and put our sons at risk on a plane". Silly I know.

The really good thing about our fear though is that it makes me appreciate everything that I have and all the time I spend with the boys. I get joy just from watching them play etc, knowing how lucky I am and I feel that I am more "present" because I know it won't last forever if you know what I mean.

When is your baby due? And do you know if it is a boy or a girl?

We are currently trying for our third!! ;)

Due early may. Don't know what we are having not going to find out either and I hate surprises!

Ever since I've found out I was going to be a dad my anxiety has got worse because I fear dying more now like I said. I have never known my dad so think this is a part of it to. My mum did a great job raising me but i did miss having a dad and was jealous of others who had a 'full set' at school. Guess its been only mind for years and only just been triggered.

With me it's definitely fear of dying. I believe once you die there's nothing, you just cease to exist and that terrifies me, especially the moment of actually dying. This is the main cause of my health anxiety. If I could get over my fear and accept that I'm going to die without being afraid I truly believe my health anxiety would go.

Hi eek I was reading a book about this yesterday which made me think. It said something along the lines of Do you remember your birth? No well dying is just as natural a process as being born so what makes you think your body won't deal with it in the same way. It also went on to say that the actual moment you die when you go unconscious so you won't even know.

It's not taken my fear away by any means but has made me think a little more about what the fear is. I too wish I could just accept it. It happens to us all at some point though I have had those thoughts about the life long pills and thoughts about making sure I'm still here when they get developed! Maybe too much sci fi watching though lol

Yes, I can totally understand all that is written in this thread, depression has been a huge part of my life (still only 21 years of age).
And it is indeed the fear of dying/death that is causing me all the anxiety, although I still had my first panic attack only 2½ months ago (thanks to which I found out about this site), before that it was all mental anxiety on my part.

The pre-birth concept is something that I've thought about a few times in the past, the universe has been around for approx. 13 billion years and I had my first experience of it 21 years ago. So basically there was an undetermined eternity (pre-universe and such) that had passed before I came into existence, that I was completely clueless about. So I do expect that it will be fairly similar once I die as well.

And although the human brain is the most efficient and complex design that we know of, it does still have it's restrictions. The way we percieve death in our mind is most probably way off and overly exaggerated from what it really is.

Just take my first panic attack as an analogy;
I was feeling really well, was enjoying my time and felt as healthy as always. Until I for some weird reason starting thinking about the big C. From that it just escalated and within 24h I felt like and believed I was terminally ill. I thought my heart was gonna stop any minute, and if that didn't happen then I would have had an incurable disease that would take me out. I felt completely petrified, couldn't eat, sleep or get a moment of peace.
So is that what it's like to be really sick? of course not! it was just my way of perceiving a concept that I had insufficient understanding of.

So the horrible way I understand dying is probably just as inaccurate as my understanding of how it is to be really sick.

So the best thing to do (which is waaay easier said than done) is to stop trying to understand something that you cannot possibly understand, and just enjoy life and all it has to offer.