Massive meltdown pending...

Hi All,

So it turns out, when you think you've 'beaten' anxiety, it's just waiting patiently to ruin your life again. I should have known better.
Everything is getting on top of me at the moment, and I'm struggling to cope with anything at all, I'm struggling to look after my little one and we have another on the way very soon, I'm struggling to focus and do ANY work despite everyone being at risk of redundancy. I'm stressing all of the time, I mean CONSTANTLY about money and keeping the place clean and tidy and other irrelevant things that just shouldn't stress me out.

I've got an ultrasound coming up soon to check for Testicular cancer, which I'm freaking myself out about.
On top of this I've got CONSTANT palpitations that just wont go away. They have been here for weeks and they get worse with excess gas. My doctor literally refuses to test me for any issues, even though I've put on like 3-4 stone in the past couple of years (weight that I spent so long losing). I'm literally CONVINCED my heart is dying or has a massive issue somewhere. Heart issues scare the living daylights out of me.

It gets worse... my nan also died around a month ago, and her funeral was last week. I was so anxious and scared that I literally couldn't get off the toilet and almost missed the funeral completely.

I feel like I'm melting down constantly and I don't want to acknowledge it or let it out because I need to be strong for my family.

If anyone has read this far, thank you for sticking with me through the long post lol, there is soo soo much more that I physically can't get down into words but this is at least a start I guess

You should read the book At Last a Life by Paul David. It was really helpful to me to change my thoughts and work on acceptance.

I will give it a read when I get some down time, thank you