LOST FRIENDS AND CAN'T MAKE ANY

Thanks to a mixture of social anxiety and general anxiety I have managed to loose all my friends, and whats more I can't make any either. Has anyone else had this problem??

I used to be very close with cousins etc, but now at family functions etc we say hello but I'm usually left sitting by myself, And things are no better in regards to getting on with the wifes family, We simply don't get on, all down to my social anxiety, Just a few weeks ago I was at a wedding on the wifes side, I was left like a plonker in the corner myself,

At work, I go in do my job and go home, again don't get on with anyone, I sit by myself at lunch time etc. I avoid looking at anyone cos god forbid they would actually speak to me when the room is quiet and everyone would look

The really odd thing is, as a teen before social anxiety/general anxiety set in I was really popular and outgoing, I had loads of friends, no apart from the wife I don't have one.

I can chat on the net even on the phone with no problems, and if you herd me on the phone you certainly would not think I had any problems, infact the wife says I rabit on abit on the phone, Just in real life I have serious people problems caused by social anxiety.

Has anyone had similar problems?

A happy person is fully caught up in the moment --and is not thinking about the past or the future.

Doubt its just me then[:I]

A happy person is fully caught up in the moment --and is not thinking about the past or the future.

Hi,you will not be the only one pet.Im billy no mates.I cant socialise,so I dont bother with party's ect.So please dont feel alone.;)

Ellen XX

Hi there,

I don't think its just you, a lot of people suffer from social anxiety. I believe you would benefit from some kind of therapy addressing this issue. There is a great website http://www.phobics-society.org.uk/ where you can register and they give you access to all the available therapies on a very generous discount ( I rememebr reading a post a while ago on NMP about a student who received hypnotherapy for £15) plus its worth calling them to see what their advice is for you.
You are definitely not alone, and although I don't suffer from social anxiety I am a bit on the shy side myself sometimes :)
xxx

"If you magnify your imperfections and minimize your good points, you're guaranteed to feel inferior. But the problem isn't YOU its- its the crazy lenses you are wearing! " Feeling Good handbook

i dont see many people of the friends i have i dont really see them as much as i used to.


netty


the dreams of the future are better than the history of the past

no your not alone pet , i have my hubby but no friends i used to have a job and peeple kept telkling me what a warm caring person i was but i cant mix , im over weight and i always think they think less of me because of it . like you i can talk on the phone or the internet but thats my limit so again your not alone take care suexx

I think one of the only good things about anxiety is that when you are suffering you really do find out who your friends are. Some of my 'friends' just dropped me completeky when I wasnt out and about with them while others went out of their way to check in with me and see how I was, ask if I needed anything form the shop etc. Its an eye opener thats for sure!

I'm the same, I have one really really good friend who I've known my whole life but the rest are just people I know.

I had friends at junior school but I never really believed it was coz they liked me, I always thought I was getting the sympathy vote.

My friends are all out going and up for a good laugh. I began avoiding them. I don't feel like I can participate anymore and I always think that I am bringing them down. I have been ill since April and I feel I can only see two long term friends one who has always suffered with depression and another who is just an angel (however they must come to me because I can't go to them). When I speak with the others on the phone I feel awkward and needy. I also feel awkward at family gatherings and will come up with any excuse to get out of them. I think I am driving my husband and my daughters up the wall

Hi,

I have a slightly different story to tell.

I didn't really have any friends from my teenage years to when I was about 40. After that I became a more inclusive person, but still with not many mates at all.

Strangely, since I have had anxiety (for three years) I have probably made more friends than ever before!

OK, I have friends on here, but maybe one day I will be cured and some may drift away. I do have other net friends via my hobby that I meet up with every so often, and I have found that great - its really useful to have some "normal" friends:D

Do you know of Social Anxiety UK? http://www.social-anxiety.org.uk/
Its free, has a forum, and they hold regular meet up and many places up and down the country. I have been to a couple and was surprised at the number of people who came along - the forum is very active and suggest you check it out.

You are not as alone as you think mate.

My advice is to be brave in the canteen etc. - that's what I had to do. I have found that people like me, but sitting alone we give ourselves away as people not worth speaking to, which is not the case!

Take Care,

Ray


http://www.anxietyrelease.org.uk/

And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance, I hope you dance.
~Mark Sanders and Tia Sillers