Ashamed of myself for not volunteering
As the New Year approaches I'm already kicking myself in the arse (excuse my language) for some things I did not this year. I feel like, if I had just done some volunteering once charity shops reopened in say, the Summer, I could've recovered a bit from my anxiety and given myself something to do. But not only have I remained at home like a loser, my anxiety has gotten worse and worse, to the point where I fear I've done some permanent damage to my brain.
And now, I've spent the entirety of 2021 unemployed and at home. Sure, the first half was understandable since we were still in lockdown but as soon as restrictions were getting lifted again something should've told me "Ok, no excuses, get some volunteer work if you're still unemployed" but no, I didn't. I can't even enjoy the Holidays now. Why the heck does it take until its too late for me to realise these things?
I need some help. I really feel like I could've cured and helped myself for the better by doing this. But I didn't so therefore I have to suffer the consequences. Any advice? Thanks.
Re: Ashamed of myself for not volunteering
Today is a new day - so start now. dwelling on what you wish you’d have done during the last year isn’t going to get you any closer to changing, so start today!
Re: Ashamed of myself for not volunteering
Why is it "too late"? There is no time limit/expiry date for trying different things if that is what you want? If you want to consider volunteering do you have someone to support you in your choice? Some companies are much better than others in supporting people with anxiety/MH issues.
The Richmond Fellowship Charity help people get and stay in employment. My son is on the autistic spectrum and has been supported by them. I would say that it's not that easy to just walk into a volunteering opportunity so maybe you are being very hard on yourself?
Re: Ashamed of myself for not volunteering
Don't be so hard on yourself. There are a lot of things that I could have done this year that I haven't. Look to what you can do in the future, maybe seek support as Pulisa says. Achievements don't have to be massive things, heck at one point this year I thought it was a success if I managed to get showered, dressed and take the dog out before 9am.
Re: Ashamed of myself for not volunteering
Quote:
Originally Posted by
pulisa
I would say that it's not that easy to just walk into a volunteering opportunity so maybe you are being very hard on yourself?
I'm trying to convince myself that. I've constantly posted threads here to help quell my anxiety and, believe me, I've applied for MANY and I mean, MANY jobs. I just feel I haven't tried hard enough.
My anxiety has gotten WORSE over the year and I feel like I've wasted half of this month trying to "fight" it when the simple solution to lowering my anxiety levels would've been getting out of the house and getting a job. But at the time, I either didn't feel it was necessary or was too "afraid" to do it. And I regret every bit of it.
Re: Ashamed of myself for not volunteering
It's not that easy to "get a job". The process of applying for and having to endure the interview process is torture for my son.
Re: Ashamed of myself for not volunteering
TaleOn11, as the ladies prior to me have suggested, these kinds of changes you want to make are not easy. Especially when we have to live with anxiety every day. I have a tendency too to see life in rigid lines, rules that are 'acceptable' and that we feel we must conform to. I've always been a people pleaser, wanting to do the right thing, and I can see some of that in you.
I've not been in paid employment since 1995. I had to quit work due to anxiety and then met my wife who had epilepsy. She developed further health conditions so I've never gone back into paid work. I live in dread of having to make that commitment again. So your year away from any work is a relatively short time, you have nothing to be ashamed of. Lowering our anxiety levels is never that simple, we get by as best we can. You are certainly not a loser, believe me.
Re: Ashamed of myself for not volunteering
Quote:
Originally Posted by
pulisa
It's not that easy to "get a job". The process of applying for and having to endure the interview process is torture for my son.
Sorry, I meant get volunteering. The reason why I feel its "too late" is because I've suffered so much anxiety and developed irrational beliefs that are hard to "unbelieve" that I feel I've done permanent damage to my mind when I could've saved myself by getting out of the house and volunteering.
Re: Ashamed of myself for not volunteering
Volunteering isn't a matter of automatic acceptance either. Do you have anyone supporting you to find employment by volunteering?
Re: Ashamed of myself for not volunteering
Quote:
Originally Posted by
pulisa
Volunteering isn't a matter of automatic acceptance either. Do you have anyone supporting you to find employment by volunteering?
I had a work coach who helped me find employment but she hasn't contacted me in ages (even when I contacted her first). There are some charity shops in my area so thats why I'm beating myself up for not volunteering there, although I do get the feeling I wouldn't have lasted long in those areas because something like a customer catching COVID would've happened.
