Bleeding after sex help 😔

Ladies I need some unjudgemental help......

Long story but I've been having trouble with bleeding the week before my period especially after a poo since around March, had been on the pill for years and started to get breakthrough bleeding so came off. Anyway briefly doc sent me to see a gynecologist who gave me a good examination and said I have a cervical ectropion but everything else was healthy. They sent me for a ultrasound to check everything else also fine. Life just carried on, my smear was due beginning of October so I booked that, smears always been fine, it was my fault really and in hindsight I should have thought more but the nursed wasn't brilliant, they always struggle to find my cervix and she wasn't sure she got cells, then I started bleeding so she couldn't do anymore, I'm having to wait 13 weeks despite my doctor being baffled by it so re booked for beginning December. I had sex yesterday with someone new, I've not had sex in afew months, he is quite large but it didn't hurt.....when he pulled out there was a small amount of blood on him and I had a little but it stopped by later afternoon. I'm 17 days in my cycle, went to the loo this morning for a number two and loads of blood! And it's still like it, having to wear a pad for drips. Blood and little clots like a period (not for me as I literally flood). So I've spoken to my doctor and she thinks it's the ectropion, wants me to see her Monday for an exam, she said because I'm booked in for the smear by the time she would refer me for a colposcopy the smear would be here and she doesn't think I need one anyway. I'm terrified. I'm 40 and have a 9 year old. I'm terrified I have cervical cancer and I just don't know what to do with myself.......xxx