am i addicted?

Hi there,

been a while since my last post. but here goes:

My doctor thought i had severe heartburn, if you refer to my first post all the info is in there.

However he has now diagnosed anxiety/stress and mild depression and panic attacks - hmmm just as i thought. :yesyes:

I was put on 5mg of diazepam to help calm me and help me sleep WOW these tablets are a god send!!

however this was short term 15 days in fact, i took them for 15 days.

if i knew my dr wouldnt prescribe more id have kept them for emergencies. this will be my forth night without them. i want diazepam as i know the effect on me is good.

I am aslo taking 10mg of citalopram each morning, have been for two weeks and im also on 3.75 / 7.5mg ( whichever i feel the need for) of zopiclone at night. it works but i feel crappy the next day.

However, back to diazepam, its ALL i can think of, as i know it will give me the desired effect, i cry i want it that much, i get panic attacks too because i know i dont have any. my boyf is adamant i cant buy any online as he doesnt trust buying tabs over the net.

My family say im making progress but i cant see it my self? i just know i want diazepam.

I dont particular like the zopiclone, and have heard bad things.

p.s the stress is the death of two friends, within nine months of each other and work and family stuff blah blah blah!


:yahoo:i know i waffle but i find it hard to write it down so when i do i really do!!!

Hi Janine,

In answer to your thread title – not yet... but it’s a slippery slope to find oneself on :winks:

Hope this doesn’t sound like a lecture but please listen to and trust your boyfriend on this. I had a very good friend who found herself dependant on internet drugs to help her sleep, and it led to so many problems.

She too ordered diazepam among others and I remember one order where they had no effect whatsoever, hence were obviously fake. Another order made her feel so ill that she flushed them all down the loo – several hundred pounds worth! On top of that, it caused huge additional financial stress, plus worries about deliveries not arriving. It’s just not worth it.

The trouble is, many of these drugs are habit forming if taken for more than a few weeks. The body becomes ‘dependant’ on them and the person suffers horrible withdrawal symptoms if they then try to stop taking them. They also become ‘tolerant’ to them, and the same dose becomes ineffective. In fact maintaining the same dose can even result in experiencing withdrawal symptoms because the body becomes used to that level and needs a little more to function.

Please believe me Janine, this will cause more stress and worry in the long term – both for you and your boyfriend.

I’m sorry you’re having such a hard time at the moment. Have another word with your doctor about this and see what else he can prescribe to help calm you down and help you sleep... :sleep:

Take care,
Nigel

Hi Nigel - thanks for replying,

Im sorry to hear your friend has had so many issues.

I also know that buying them online is not a good idea - its just pyschologically how much i want them. Its all in my head, i feel im suffering withdrawal symptoms only after 15 days of taking them, so i know taking them for a longer term will only make thes withdrawal sypmtoms even worse. but when the pain, anxiety, panic and worry take over its a different situation alltoghether isnt it? thoughts and feelings change.

the zopiclone does help me sleep but i suffer that horrid 'hangover effect' the next morning.

people say there is light at the end of the tunnel...........................where is the tunnel?

many thanks again nigel

“but when the pain, anxiety, panic and worry take over its a different situation alltoghether isnt it?”

That’s very very true. At the time we just want something – anything – to take away that pain, and it doesn’t really matter about the consequences. It makes it hard to think straight, so that’s why it’s so important to listen to somebody who you trust – like your boyfriend – because he can see this situation far more clearly because he isn’t actually living it.

“people say there is light at the end of the tunnel...”

Yes, and it turned out to be some bloody joker with a torch!! :huh:

Take care,
Nigel

LOL Nigel........first time I laughed out loud in a few weeks :D

“people say there is light at the end of the tunnel...”

Yes, and it turned out to be some bloody joker with a torch!!

If u feel u really need them speak to your gp, explain everything and I'm sure he/she will advise u on the best course of action

I really feel for you Janine. I couldn't sleep for a whole week solid either and was going absolutely bat-s**t insane with it all last year. I was given Zopiclone but I started taking too much of that to try and control my anxiety so it got stopped straight away. Stupid me. I was addicted to it within no time at all. I then ended up in hospital and was on 12mgs of Diazepam - God send as you said. I'm now meant to be down to 9mgs. But I'm not. :-( I've been very silly and have been taking extra when I've felt I've "needed it". Stupid stupid stupid. It's now been noticed by my GP and I'm worried sick to death that he's going to take it all away from me and I'll be back to the gibbering wreck I was last year. Arghghg. Drugs and panic disorder are a nightmare. :-(