Today started so positively... What the hell happened?!

I woke up this morning feeling really good and positive. I had my head straight and I was thinking nice and rationally. But then I was driving to work and a I started to remember my conversation with my GP who told me that I have swollen glands. I got to thinking about the fact that that she'd told me that glands should only stay swollen for 3 weeks max and if It hasn't gone down by Monday I have to go for bloods and she actually told me that she's going to check for cancerous cells (major concern one!). I was in the car and I could/can actually feel my glands. They ache. All the way down my right arm which is the side of my visible swollen gland. I also have glands under my jaw which are tender. I went to the sexual health clinic to support a friend yesterday and there was a man there with HIV (he spoke to someone on the phone about it). And that heightened my anxiety. Not because I was scared of catching it from him, it was more that that could be me In a few months. I still haven't had my results from the clinic and it's torture. I begin CBT next month hopefully. But I can't stop thinking about the glands in my neck. I am so tired all the time. My throat is occasionally sore and there feels like there is pressure in my ears although the doctor said that there was nothing wrong. My head is pounding. I just need this to be over. I don't really know how much more of this anxiety I can take.

"I got to thinking about the fact that that she'd told me that glands should only stay swollen for 3 weeks max"

Should is vague, should is a possibility, maybe a common possibility but not an absolute truth.

Worrying never solved anything, distract yourself, do things that you enjoy doing, got a headache? Take some painkillers (where appropriate), feel stressed? Go for a walk. Its one thing to recognise the issues and stresses, its another to do something positive to counteract and deal with them. Health anxiety is a spider web that constantly buidls and builds until all you see is the web. Take focus away from it, take charge of your life and see the positives.

You went to see the doc = check

You have seen a sexual health worker and been tested = check

As far as I can see its just the waiting, everything seems to have more value than it deserves when we obsess over it.

Why not update this post when you get the all clear, it may help someone else to read that you are ok after struggling with this mentally.

I wish you well.