Work making me ill

I'm leaving work at the end of August and going back to uni to do a masters degree, which I am really looking forward to.
But having to work in a job I hate until then is really getting me down. I know loads of people hate their jobs - but it is the fact that I am leaving soon which is making it worse as I feel trapped and claustrophobic. I started having panic attacks a few months ago but after a chat with the doctor and blood tests that were all OK I was reassured there was nothing physically wrong with me.
(I used to have panic attacks a lot and had CBT to deal with them so I was lucky I could deal with these new ones quite quickly and effectively.)
However I am feeling so depressed about work now. I just can't bare to be here any longer and worry about it - not just on a Sunday night but the worry starts on Friday nights now.
Today I had to force myself to go in and couldn't even be bothered to wash my hair or put any make-up on.
On my most recent visit to the doctor she said take some time off if I feel bad.
Easier said than done.
I was lying in bed this morning thinking what would be worse - going in to a job I hate, with a boss I hate, and having to do work that I don't care about or phoning said boss and trying to explain that I was taking time off for depression.
She would have gone mad. She thinks suffering stress is just something everyone has to put up with and whatever is going on in someone's life she always has something worse in hers to cope with.
I was scared to phone in sick. She would grill me on all my work and make me feel guilty about who would do it in my absence. She would say we are short staffed and I should know better than being ill on a Monday or Tuesday (our busiest days - I'm a journalist on a local paper).
Then if I did take time off she would keep phoning me on my mobile and home phone to ask stupid questions and make me feel more guilty.
When the phone rang yesterday (Sun) I just automatically assumed it was her!
(She even phoned me on my honeymoon with some inane query!)It would be more stressful to take time off. But I wish I could.
Pam

Hi Pam,

Well done for coping with them so well previously.


Then if I did take time off she would keep phoning me on my mobile and home phone
..and she'd really have something to worry about when you take her to industrial tribunal for harrassment. When you are off sick your work cannot contact you unless you say they can and especially not when they are the source of the sickness.

You could phone in at 5 am when there is noone there and leave a message and forward on your sick note.

If this is really your issue then staying here is not helping you get in a good frame of mind for your Masters but it's still 2 months away. A long time to be off sick. Can you not find a way to work with this woman.



Meg

'There can only be true courage when first there is genuine fear'

Dr.David Livingstone

Thanks Meg
I didn't know that about work not being allowed to phone.
Today I took control of my life and decided my sanity and health was more important than money. This was after having a semi-panic attack which left me shaking for a while. I had a couple of Quiet Life tablets and then wrote a new resignation letter saying I would leave in a month.
Writing it all down on this forum also helped and advice from two friends saying 'get out if it's getting you down'.
I feel very relieved and hope I can get through the next four weeks.
I am now going for a soak in the bath with my Celtic Sanctuary CD - obviously that will go in the CD player not the bath!!
Pam

Don't let them force you out as I'm sure the ££'s will be useful next year so you could go off sick for that time instead.

If you have substantial documented evidence you just need to threaten tribunal and I'm sure you'll have a much easier rest of your time there .

There are not many times when I advocate taking long periods of time out or leaving a sitiuation but bullying is one of them as seldom is there a change from the bully without legal issues being involved.



Meg

'There can only be true courage when first there is genuine fear'

Dr.David Livingstone