Melanoma and a Downward Spiral

So, I had been doing pretty well--I had been seeing a therapist, and working hard to 'not think about my health', per therapist instructions. Then the rest of life took a hard turn and there were some relationship troubles, taking on a hospice foster dog (she's dying of kidney disease and needed someone to love her for however long), a job search, etc. Those things kept me busy to the point where I didn't have the mental space to be worried about my health because there were too many other real things to be worried about. It was great and actually provided some interesting insight into my HA.

Sadly, now that those things are mostly resolved and stabilized, my HA is back with a vengeance in the form of melanoma. I have a mole on my neck that is sliiiiightly raised and not perfectly symmetrical. There are two bad pictures of it below. I hosted a 89th birthday party for my grandmother today, and had my uncle, a nurse for 40 years, look at it. He agreed that it was a bit textured and such, but he didn't think it was interesting or worrisome, all the more so because I've had for decades and it hasn't changed. My family and such agree that it hasn't changed and looks perfectly normal. Even when I look at it in the mirror, it looks...basically the same mole I've had for decades. But I'm still here in a panic. How do you guys deal with these fears? I got the answer I wanted, and yet it's still nagging me. Normally this kind of reassurance is enough for me, and I have no interest or need to keep searching, but this is different and I'd welcome your thoughts.

It doesn't look like melanoma.

It looks like an regular irregular mole that 99% of us have on our bodies.

If you've had it for decades than I would highly suggest you stop worrying. You are like the fifth person I've seen this week post about melanoma. Was your anxiety triggered? If it really bothers you get it checked out by a dermatologist. And then believe him and move on when he tells you it's nothing to worry about.

Thank you, PSA! I'm not sure if it was triggered or not. My neck (not really my mole itself, but around the mole) has been itchy recently, so I think that area is just constantly on my mind. A less conscious problem might be that a beloved pet was just diagnosed with an ultimately fatal disease. The only reason I caught it early was because I obsess over her health and noticed tiny, normally-not-a-big-deal symptoms. That's not a lesson you want to learn as a HA sufferer.