i feel like i'm losing my mind because std fear has taken over my life

I got HPV low risk (sounds much nicer than GW) in January. Always had mild health anxiety but ever since that it has been out of control. I cleared the HPV but the anxiety has only gotten worse and worse. I thought if I didn't have sex anymore and wait until in a proper relationship that would cure me. But I'm still just getting worse. I am feeling completely emotionless to guys and like I just want to run away from them instead of get to know them and maybe get close. I think if i had sex i would start crying hysterically through it because I feel like such a wreck and so damn afraid of stds particularly hiv and herpes. I have a hiv test currently on its way and im waiting for the results. im scared. but guys can tell that im broken. and i feel completely broken. I can't get close to guys cos all i can think about is sex and how if i get close to a guy he'll want sex and honestly it just makes me feel sick the thought of it. when guys even suggest sex im gone. which is ridiculous cos its normal for guys to ask and it shouldnt upset me and freak me out when they do like it does. iv burst into tears on two occasions with two guys because i was asked for sex from them. i ended things with both of them thereafter. i cant take these feelings anymore i have to fix myself. everyday i feel like im getting symptoms of herpes and its like just waiting for the big explosion and whats the point of getting tested for that? tests aren't even accurate and altho iv never had a coldsore to my knowledge i most likely have the virus from all the guys iv kissed in my time. oh god i just feel like theres no help left im so so broken :(

It is highly unlikely you will get any disease if you are careful and use condoms.

HPV is so common and you don't have to have intercourse to catch it. Contact with the penis in your vaginal is all it takes....not penetration. My Doctor told me that "everyone has HPV". It really is not a big deal.

As far as HIV and herpes go...you can prevent those by using condoms as the previous post said. Also, do you know how hard HIV is to catch? If you have vaginal heterosexual sex with someone who IS positive, your chances are less that 1%...0.5%...if that person is negative it is 0.009%. Your chances of getting hit by lighting are higher. Furthermore, it is even harder than the stats I just gave for a man to catch it from a woman through vaginal sex. Of all the STDs for you to fear, HIV is probably the hardest one to catch.

Please...enjoy life listead of being scared of death. U are not guaranteed tomorrow...sex or no sex....so do u want to live tomorrow alone or in love?

Can I also add that this is a panic and anxiety site and we are not best equipped to deal with sexual diseases. There are better sites out there for that.

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Can I also add that this is a panic and anxiety site and we are not best equipped to deal with sexual diseases. There are better sites out there for that.

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That wasn't a very nice comment to read. I am not asking for help on information on sexual diseases. I've googled that myself countless of times. I'm asking for help for the anxiety I am constantly dealing with and for checking my body for symptoms constantly and the anguish I go through when I check. I can't do my work properly because I'm so worried and feel like I need to check over and over again. I've got help from this site a lot but tonight I have felt particularly bad and thought I could get some help again. There are also a lot of people who can relate to my post on this site who are going through or have gone through the same std fear. Hiv fear is a particularly common fear associated with health anxiety.
Thank you for your reassurance stressed

Ok well I am sorry but this site is for panic and anxiety and we can't advise on sexual diseases etc and HIV etc.

It is not our area of expertise and the site was intended for panic attacks and anxiety that is all I am saying.

We are also not experts on HA.

HA needs specialist treatment that is all I am saying. Sorry if I upset you but I sometimes feel this site is turning into a HIV and sexual problems site and that it not what I want.

I realise no one on here are experts. But the health anxiety part of this forum is very popular and everyone who posts help are not doctors who can properly diagnose people. They are people who are in similar situations offering their support. That's all I want. You can see i think from my post how upset I am and how much anxiety I am experiencing. Just looking for a way to relieve some of that and thank you for apologising I also apologise for being sensitive just didn't want to feel turned away from the one site where people actually understand what I go through. HIV is an extremely common fear for health anxiety suffers. We can't pick and choose what area of health it manifests in and please don't discriminate against us because of the nature of it. Although this is pretty strange as I am sure there are a lot more posts from people fearing cancer than HIV and stds.

I expect you have gone elsewhere by now, but if not, dont panic about the HPV. I had this years ago, had the abnormal pap test results, had Loop diathermy treatment, twice, got rid of the abnormal cells, had yearly pap tests after that, each time they said they were clear but there was still the HP virus present, after about 6 years of all clear pap tests, the HPV had gone! It lies dormant for years & usually rights itself. So I wouldn't pin too much on that.
Once you get the all clear from the HIV test, you can move on, & make sure when you do get it together with someone, that you use protection, then you are in a better position than a lot of the population! x

I would just like to add to this post and say that this site literally saved my life! I had some major HA over HIV and while it is not an "HIV or STD site" meeting people here who had the same fears and could talk to me about them was SO healing for me! If it would not be for this site, I'd probably be in the loony bin by now. HIV and STDs are sadly a very common HA fear. I think that we all need to be understanding a supportive of one another. I think there are MANY more posts about swine flu and other HA issues. When I think it is too much, I for one choose not to read those post about those given topics. If we place too many restrictions and "rules" on the people posting here...are we really helping them or running them off to deal with their HA alone? We can't help what we fear.....because fear comes from the unknown. If someone fearful can come here and get information (knowledge) and comfort in others that feel the same...isn't your site doing what you created it to do...help people? Who cares how people get the help they need....the end result will be the same regardless of the path they take.