separation anxiety day after day after day

I am married to a stunning young woman.we have two beautiful girls.every day when we part I feel like I have just said goodbye forever.every time they are a bit late I become very distressed begging for their safe return.
when the car pulls in, tears of relief stream down my face.when i was very young we nearly,very nearly,lost my mother to cancer.after she recovered i wept myself to sleep as a teenager,imagining the loss of my mother,my port in a very harsh storm.I was violently sexually abused as a boy.:weep:

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All your anxiety now stems from your childhood ...I feel so very sorry that you are feeling so traumatised ..All this needs to be talked about with a specialist .You dont say whether you have been to a councellor or not ,But even if you have ,you still need someone to help you move on from your Terrible memories .This is causing you too many problems to just let it go on, the way you are .You sound like a very nice man and great Dad .Feeling you are going to lose the people you love is understandable ,but very highly unlikely .Its just your Anxiety Feeding on your deepest fears .Learning how to think differently can be taught by CBT .Also accepting that these thoughts are just anxiety and not fearing them ,and reacting will help you reach a point where they will gradually dissapear ...It doesnt work straight away but it can be done ....Please read Dr Claire weekes books ,they will help you get a different perspective on anxiety /panic and will help with the acceptance I talk about ...Good luck Sue x:hugs:

I'm so sorry. Your experiences have left you very insecure and troubled. You sound like a very sensitive, caring man. You can get help to cope with these feelings so that you can become a survivor and not a victim. You have nothing to be ashamed of. Have you discussed any of your experiences with anyone? Sometimes it doesn't pay to keep things to yourself as you only go over and over them in your head and make yourself feel worse. It's amazing how we can live with things for many years, but it always catches up on us. Please don't be afraid or ashamed to speak to your doctor about your experiences. There are many others like you who have come through the other end and put it behind them. Get rid of this burden once and for all.
Myra x:hugs:

Suzy and Myra are right, you need to talk about these things, as they are obviously still hidden away somewhere inside you and still having a massive impact on the way you feel. I'm sorry to hear you feel like this, you do sound like a very nice man, and just like everyone on here, you don't deserve to be ruled by these feelings and fears. Maybe unlocking the negative emotions from the past will help you to gain a new perspective on things now and for the future. Its obvious your family mean the world to you, which is why you worry so much but there is no need to worry excessively and you probably know that underneath, but you need help to overcome these fears.. I wish you all the best in getting the help you need and having a happier future with your family.