colonscopy

well last night i had to take 2 sleeping pills as i was a bag of nerves before my colonscopy i woke this morning to tell my mum i just cant do this it was the same old problem the crystal ball ,predicting the choking sensation , sweating and just a geberal panic attack.
well i got to the hospitol and had to wait for an hour in the waiting room i just got my head into a magazine , then i got called through to a room to put my gown on i was in hear for 40 mins and the palms began to sweat and the crazys thoughts started.
i was then called through to the observation room where there were two nurses who said the dr would be along soon , as soon as he came in i said i suffered from anxiety/panic he calmed me and got me sedated pretty quick , compared to some people i spoke to afterwards the sedation didnt knock me out like others still i put my breathing techniques and managed to hold it together all in all i was there for 4 hours it certainly wasnt a picnic but i got through it ,
i hate depression/anxiety it just makes everything such hard work , everyone just looked so chilled out to me smiling away chatting with each other where as i was in a corner clock watching.
i suppose i can take a posotive in the fact that i made it through the whole thing

Well done for getting through it, I was a nervous wreck when I went for mine. Did they give you the results today?

yeh they were all good id dont think ive ever been so nervous, im gutted this morning that i let myself get in that state

i cant work out why im feeling so flat , ive lost 2 stone , my test went well yesterday which means physically all is really good with me but mentally im so fragile , im really on edge i no drinking at xmas was a complete no no , booze is a poison to my brain chemistry i no that i yet i chose to muck up,
ive been af now for 6 days so i hope in the nxt week or so to see some improvements .
all the booze i have in the house which is 3 cans have gone in the loft and i wont be touching them

I hope you start to pick up and feel less anxious soon. Well done for getting rid of the drink :)

so do i guess its just a case of waiting for my body to detox and my brain chemistry to sort its self out im not suicidal at the moment and ive been there before so must keep going