Guilt and anxiety about past actions, disgrace

A great deal of my depression, anxiety and sometimes obsessive thoughts is related to past actions, I am aware that depression and anxiety can be a nasty beast focusing in on our past.

For example I was a bit of a bully at school, indeed I was also bullied myself, it happens I think, we as men can behave in this way sometimes, I had a dog who I loved in many ways but was also very cruel to as well when I was 17 or 18 and it causes me a great deal of grief sorrow and shame.

I told a counsellor once and she said we can all have good and bad sides to ourselves, especially when younger, she said people who behave in bad ways when they are older and the problem.

Anyway are there any decnt books or techniques to deal with such feelings of guilt, sorrow and shame? Claire Weekes says leave vengence to God but I have no belief in religion !!!

Hi Frankie,

I think we all have things in our past that we are not proud of, but you have to let it go, You and are a different and more mature person ask your self this question, if faced with the same situation now, would you be cruel or a bully, im sure the answer is no, you have to learn to forgive yourself and accept it was all part of growing up,

do hope this helps a little bit
take care

kairen x

I try nowadays to be a kind and caring person, sometimes you analyse yourself almost to death but I think its a symptom of anxiety and depression, hopefully by taking care of myself and taking medication I will improve, thanks.

Frankie

The take home message is that you have over the years, learnt from you earlier mistakes

If there is anyone who particularly stands out as having been on the wrong side of you - it is never too late to say sorry -even to yourself.

Is there any organization you could contribute to either by helping out by volunteering or contributing to regularly a small amount that might ease how you view your previous behaviour.

Do remember that guilt is a self flagillating tool and emotion that doesn't help anyone including yourself, unless you either do something to counter it and deal with it or until you fully forgive yourself for earlier mistakes.


Meg
www.anxietymanagementltd.com

Your anxiety is the human representation of the pictures that you paint using your many vivid colours of revolving and reoccurring thoughts.
How big is your gallery ?

Have moved this post here Frankie - hope that's ok :D

"Life is too important to take seriously" Corky Siegal