panic to the point of suicidal - benzo withdrawl? anxiety?

I have been on 10mg Escitlopram (Cipralex) for about 3 years, for driving anxiety and depression, and for these 3 years i have felt perfectly normal.

2 months ago i was prescibed metaclopramide for, nausea by my GP, after two doses 10mgs each, i became incredibly ill, i started to hallucinate one evening, and the next day soke up with the most severe panic of my life, i had parkinsonian tremors, akethisia, early waking, IBS, agoraphobia, suicidal ideation, constant severe constant anxiety, my skin was crawling, i felt like i was losing my mind, i lost my appetite, and sobbed all the time.

I saw a psych, who put me on (after some trial and error) akineton, rivatrol (clonazepam) 0.25mg twice a day, Lyrica (pregabalin) 75mg, 25 in the moring and 50mg at night, in addition to my cipralex, a couple weeks i went off akineton because my eyes were aching, and it wasnt helping with the shaking all that much, and i was told that in anticholenergenic that would have kicked in woukd have done so.

I felt normal for a whole week and decided to wean rivatrol, i did so slowly first to 0.25mg a day for a week, then to 0.125 twice a day, then 0.125 once a day and stopped. I was off with no side effects. A week later i tried to wean lyrica, reducing by 25mg in the morning, for 2 days i felt fine, and then i woke up in a massive panic, nausea, ibs, huge tremors, dry mouth, heart beating really hard, battling to breath, dizzy.

The very same day i went back on to original dose of Lyrica, a week in it didnt help, i was told to up to 50mg in the morning and 50mg in the evening. A week on it didint help.all i got was dizzier and really vivid vision, blurry, an doubled up with floaters and this whispy smoke out the corners of my eyes, it felt like there was massive pressure round my eyes and head, nausea, and eye ache.

Yesterday i dropped by 25mg of lyrica as per docs suggestion, and my eyes felt a bit better, at around 17:00 i took 2,5mg valium, it worked, panic reduced in an hour, but came back later at around 21:00 albeit milder.

I woke up again at 4:00 like i have done for the past 2 weeks, took another valium and now im writing this while i wait to oanic again.

I dont know whats wrong with me. I know originally i had a ravtion to metaclopramide. But i got a bit better, so either its benzo withdrawl a week later, which i heard is possible and likely (altho i was only on clonazeoam for 50days) lyrica withdrawl for that slight reduction? Cipralex tolerence after being on it for 3 years? My doc even suggested epilepsy, which it really cant be. At yhis stage the doc is just guessing, and i dont know what to do short of taking my life.

I cant be off work and have been there everyday, despite my agrophobic feelings and feeling sick, i know this long, i apologise, but i really need help.

It sounds to me like you have had a few changes in medication and it can take a few weeks for new doses to work.
One thing you said is "I wait to panic again again" If you are waiting to panic you probably will, try to distract yourself from those thoughts. If things don't get better with the meds I think you should go back to your doctor. It will get better...try to be positive :hugs::hugs:

Thank you so much for responding Annie, i really thought nobody would. A little while ago i had a normal life, but now it feels like things will never be the same.

Would your doctor be able to refer you for counselling? If not the CBT4Panic online is really good. You just have to remind yourself, you have been well before so you can be well again.