staying out overnight

Hi, I wonder if anyone has any tips on staying overnight at a new place. I have been agorophobic for years. Although I manage to work and travel up to five miles away from home. My safe place. I haven't stayed away from home for years. I have been with my very patient boyfriend for three years. I tend to get panicky in the evening, or feel nauseous and want to rush back home. Cbt didnt work for me. I am forty now and need to leave home. I desperately want my own home.. I just seem to hit a brick wall when the panicking sets in. I got my mum through lung cancer a few years ago. This took a lot out of me. I guess I also feel a bit controlled. My safe place isn't even my own. Any help would be great.

Okay, getting your mum through lung cancer is a tough call and would have taken alot out of you.

You say you have been agoraphobic for years and that you get panicky in the evenings and feel nauseous...............thats where it ends!

I know the panic feelings aren't a bundle of roses, but remember they are just feelings, nothing actually happens, you feel home is a safe place!!!!! Now i understand about "Safe places" after being agoraphobic for years myself, but the word "safe place" in itself tells us that we have something to fear.

Its refreshing to hear that your boyfriend is very patient, can you try and move your "safe place" to your "safe person"......you could actually make this your boyfriend.

I know it seems daunting at times, agoraphobia was a hell of a mountain to try and combat, but i assure you it can be done.

Onwards and upwards and we'll help you get on that track to recovery :hugs:

Di x

Thanks so much for replying :). I am going to try and make his house feel like my safe place. At the mo I am trying to stay longer each time I am there. As for making him my safeperson. I think I wouldn't at first as he goes away a lot. I get very anxious when he is away on business. So lovely to here success stories. I am slowly getting my life back. One day I will go far enough and leave the town I live in . I think my agoraphobia is also genetic. My nana is and my aunt didn't leave the house for three years. She is almost cured but went the meds route. Up until now I have avoided taking any medication for it.