A constant fight to stay alive, or at least that’s how it feels

I’m a 31 year old male and I’ve been battling serious anxiety for about five years. It started with severe panic attacks and slowly progressed into a continuous feeling of being weak and sick. Haven’t had a real panic attack for a year of two, but came close to it a few times.

Today I feel sick most of the day. I feel weak, with pain throughout my body and especially a constant headache. The fatigue is terrible. It’s a vicious circle, because the fear and weakness make the anxiety worse which in turn makes me more tired. When it gets bad I fear my heart will stop and I will collapse. It’s almost a constant fight to keep myself standing, as it really feels like I will fall if I don’t do that.

I still go to uni every day, but it’s difficult. I live with my girlfriend and she also gets affected by it.

I seem to have all the symptoms of chronic fatigue syndrome, with anxiety closely connected to it. The more tired I get the more sick/weak I feel which fuels the fear.
Most of the times my heart rate is normal when I feel anxious, so it’s not the classic anxiety I used to have.
I have a diagnosed sleep apnea and use either a CPAP or mouthpiece to sleep.
Have been to multiple physicians and they can’t find anything.

I am eating healthy whole foods, have a regular daytime activity and try to sleep pretty regularly.

Don’t know what more I can do about this. I am in therapy as well and it helps with certain things in life but doesn’t change the weak and sick feeling one bit

I may no expert but it does sound a little like CFS too, which is extremely debilitating.
I hear you regarding uni. Next week is my last week this semester and I’m amazed I’ve made it this far. It’s been really hard.
So just be a little easier on yourself, it’s not your fault and hopefully you can find an understanding GP to talk it all through with.
Youve got this far so rest when you can and show some compassion towards yourself. You can do this.

It's good that you eat well and exercise, but you need to look at that as a foundation for your health, a base to build from.

The language you're using is still very much fear based, and that's the cycle you need to break.

The fear that your heart will collapse, the fear that your anxiety will turn into something else, the fear of the simple feeling of anxiety. That's the thought pattern that can destroy your energy and health.

Have you ever considered meditation? It's something that takes a long time to really get into, but if you do it right the benefits can start working quickly too.

For the record, I found that my healthy eating regime needed to include tons of nutrition. Way more than guidelines (which are really a joke), and I supplement on top of the healthy diet too. I also use organic supplements and high quality minerals. The only additional vitamin I take is vitamin D as that's a common deficiency in the UK and can severely impact your mental health.

If I were you, I would first have my sleep apnea machine checked. If your cpap is clogged or not working properly, and you're not getting the air you need, then you aren't sleeping soundly, and that right off the bat would cause many of the symptoms you are experiencing.

If your cpap is fine and you are getting the right sleep, then I would next see the doc and make sure nothing else is medically wrong with you.

If you get the clear ok from your doc, then you know it's anxiety, and can start to tackle that.