Feeling sick and tired all the time...

Hi everyone. Does anyone else suffer with this? ^

A bit of background info... I'm female, 28 years old and I have two children, aged 4 and 6. I've always been anxious and I was diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder as well as OCD when I was 18. During my teenage years (from age 15 to 18) I was addicted to alcohol and cannabis and smoked cigarettes and also did cocaine and other hard drugs. I went to rehab at 18 and since then have been leading a healthy lifestyle, though I didn't quit smoking until I got pregnant with my first child at 21. I don't drink any alcohol or do drugs anymore and I eat a healthy plantbased diet, but I still often worry that I did irreversible damage to my health during my teens.

Anyway... After I had children, I started suffering from health anxiety. I am just so afraid that I am going to die and won't be there to see them grow up and be there for them. The thought of them having to grow up without a mum is just too much. I have had many different symptoms over the years and in my head I have had many different diseases... though I obviously have not been diagnosed with anything serious so far. I have tried CBT and I am on Escitalopram (10 mg.)

Lately I have been very stressed for various reasons, one of them being that I just started a new job (at a nursing home). I really like this job, but I am just so very tired all of the time. Every weekend I feel like I am coming down with the flu, but I never really do. However, these past few weeks I have felt quite nauseous, fatigued and ache all over. When I wake up in the morning around 6, I feel hot under my skin and sometimes I am sweating a bit too. I know this is not what night sweats are like, and I know fatigue and nausea are common with anxiety, but... I can't shake the feeling that it might be more than 'just' stress and anxiety. The fatigue is overwhelming at the moment. During the day I alternate between feeling hot and cold. I can't stop crying... I am just so afraid of leaving my kids. :(

I haven't had any blood tests since this time last year, as my doctor is reluctant to do them, because he feels it is not helpful for my anxiety. Last year they were all normal, though and I have had countless blood tests over the years that have all been normal. But none this year. Part of me wants to ask for new blood test, the other part wants to avoid them at all costs, because I am so scared of the results... :/ I have a doctor's appointment next week.

Has anyone else suffered with this overwhelming fatigue, nausea and feeling hot and cold - for more than a few weeks? Just generally feeling ill in a very unspecific way?
Any words of reassurance would be appreciated... I just want to feel better soon and be able to enjoy Christmas with my family. I f*cking hate anxiety.

Sorry you're having such an awful time, Maryjane.

However, this does sound more or less how I feel when my anxiety is out of control. You've just started a new job, so it's not surprising things are a little bit harder for you right now.

I know it's more than likely that it is because of anxiety... I just hate it so much, I had to call in sick today because I was just too sick and tired to get out of bed. Just folding the kids' laundry makes me cry, because it makes me think of them and how much I love them and don't want to leave them. It's silly, I know. Health anxiety is just the worst!
Anyway, thank you so much for your reply!

Are you getting any help for your anxiety right now?

None other than my medication, but I have been referred to a psychiatrist, I just haven't been able to get an appointment yet, but I am in the process... Before that I was in group therapy (CBT) which did help a lot at the time, but not really anymore...

The thing with CBT is that you really have to practice it - I learned that myself the hard way.

Meditation can also really help.

I can really relate to this. I feel the same way at the moment and am in the exact same state of mind with my kids. I just look at their stuff and cry because I am so sacred of them growing up without me. I also feel very drained and exhausted but do please know that anxiety can do this to you and will make you feel physically awful. Worry and depression wipe all the energy out of you. As you are not at work, maybe try to rest today although I know it's hard when you can't rest your mind.

Thank you for your reply cattia! I am so sorry to gear you're going through this too, it's just so awful.

I did actually manage to sleep for an hour, then got up, made some food as I thought it might make me feel better... But now I just feel worse. The nausea is really bad. I've had low level nausea caused by stress and anxiety before, but this is much worse and it really worries me. :(