Anxiety/OCD fears are taking over me

I don't know what to do anymore. Ever since the beginning of April, where some personal issues happened, anxiety and supposed OCD has hit me like a freight train. I say OCD because I'm constantly doing mental rituals, repeating words and phrases that ease my anxiety in my head and avoiding doing anything I feel that may make my fears come true. I have autism so maybe that explains it as well. Its gotten to the point where I'm afraid to talk about these things to my therapist because, again, I'm afraid my fears will actually happen. It never use to be this bad. Now there's something I want to do related to my hobbies but I can't because it has something that will trigger my anxiety. Any advice? Thanks

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Originally Posted by TaleOn11

I don't know what to do anymore. Ever since the beginning of April, where some personal issues happened, anxiety and supposed OCD has hit me like a freight train. I say OCD because I'm constantly doing mental rituals, repeating words and phrases that ease my anxiety in my head and avoiding doing anything I feel that may make my fears come true. I have autism so maybe that explains it as well. Its gotten to the point where I'm afraid to talk about these things to my therapist because, again, I'm afraid my fears will actually happen. It never use to be this bad. Now there's something I want to do related to my hobbies but I can't because it has something that will trigger my anxiety. Any advice? Thanks

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I cant imagine how hard the situation you are going through. Do have any mental health issues like severe anxiety before the onset of April? I understand the fears but have you not really tried talking to your therapist? A professional would be very helpful.

Agree that a professional would be very helpful. I spent a good deal of my last session with my therapist disucussing my recent spike OCD related issues and he was able to talk me throughnit and provided some much needed insight to me.

Its hard to deal with OCD - cognitive behavior (modification - I don't saying behaviors) therapy does wonders for me to break/interrupt unhealthy cycles. Having a good therapist is a good start. Start with just 1 thing to break the ritual. Nothing will happen if you don't repeat something, hard I know as I'm a creature of habit.

Feel better :)

Thanks. Though at this point, my rituals have gotten me to the point where I can't live my life properly now. I constantly have to do rituals for everything.

I go onto a YouTube video, I have to do a ritual every time so I can enjoy the video in peace.
I do a ritual every time I go to bed.
I do ritual every time I start AND finish eating food.
I do a ritual every time I turn on a TV, a games console, a movie or reading a book.
I do a ritual every time something I see triggers what my anxiety is afraid of.

Its a nightmare and I can't stand it anymore. It was never this bad. And I honestly think COVID made it bad. And now I want to be mad at something, like the UK government for all the lockdowns it has put us through, to let out my frustrations. To be fair I've only talked to my therapist once during the pandemic as well as sent him the occasional e-mail, but as I said, I'm afraid to talk to him about these issues out of fear they will come true. So yeah, its really tough. I hope to get back on my feet sooner than later.
Any more advice someone can give me, is very much appreciated.

Could you email them to him and then you wouldn't have to actually say them to him?

Maybe just talking to your therapist more about other things would be helpful? You can avoid the stuff you are frightened to talk about for now. I find the more I trust someone the easier it is to talk about my problems.