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Re: Relapse! Coping, Symptoms and Tips.
35c!!!! :ohmy: You win Pulisa.
We had a forecast of 30c in the East, but it didn't reach that thankfully. However tomorrow is another high prediction. :( It all depends which way the wind blows and I thank The Lord for that Easterly breeze.
The problem is indoors. You know, the place you are supposed to stay in the heat. All very well, but we are neatly 90f indoors and today we had to call someone as our skylight has been burning. Being pvc and not glass, over a period of long burning sun, it is now brown!
They have a double layer and the under is OK for the moment, but don't want to take any chances. :scared15:
Pulisa, I am pleased to hear you are getting a break.
The rain may be clear by Saturday and a milder climate will no doubt be a great comfort to you.
£600 vets bills. How do they justify that. If I was an MP , I would make a plea for NHS for animals.
I hope he is back to normal soon. x
---------- Post added at 21:26 ---------- Previous post was at 21:00 ----------
My day was difficult today.
Apart from waking up like I had been sleeping in Calcutta, we couldn't get parked when we went out and driving around with no air-con was making us a very miserable and grumpy couple. Eventually got a space and then I had that thing when you've just closed all the windows and find you can't get out, because the person in the next car has opened their car door wide and trapped you in your car. What do they do in there? Arse hanging out, rummaging about, doing what?! :mad:
Eventually got out and then couldn't get a table in the Cafe. Paced up and down for ten minutes, which felt like forever and then got one. Realised by now that I was desperate for the loo and was in such an anxiety state that anxiety was now in control and was telling me I wasn't going to make it! :scared15:
Walked at a snails pace to find a massive queue when I got there and knowing what state I was in decided not to wait and sat back on the table. Three times I tried to do this and made it on the third.
After all that, the day ended up OK and finished the day on the beach. :)
Anxiety tried to ruin me today, but I took my time, went slow and got through the other end.
Anxiety wants you to fail, but you are stronger.
Respect that it is there, but you take charge. :)
Until next time.....
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Immmm melting ! :D ok it's not funny anymore I can't move without getting hot and out of breath can't even give the dogs the evening walk .
Hey pulisa why don't you pick us all up on the way up north , I'll be at junction 25 m1 , I'll wear a carnation so you know it's me :roflmao: in fact I'll be crouched under the motorway bridge hiding from the sun , I think if I got on that m1 I'd stick with it and go up Scotland , I was talking to a Scottish woman this morning she'd been back up Scotland for two weeks and can't take being back here she walks her dog at 5am .
32 ish here today I bloody knew I should have bought an air conditioning unit in winter , today was bloody hard even doing nothing .
:hugs:
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Buster, we both got our posts timed to the minute this time. :) Hopefully the rain will call you down and I know how you like a good storm. Unlike me. :scared15:
With your breathing, just remember that if you can get through a 32c day then it is bound to boost your confidence for on a normal day. :)
By the way, you can't wear a Carnation, otherwise Pulisa will think it is me! :D
Stay cool Buster. Stick your face in the freezer for a second. It's breaking tomorrow and you can do a rain dance. :)
P. S. I'm still wearing my amber necklace, but haven't noticed any improvement. :huh:
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Had a short down pour this afternoon while is was cooling off in front of a fan , I'd been driving around the city for two hours and couldn't wait to get home , I sat listening to the rain and then said out loud " shit my windows are down " ran out side to huge drops of warm rain I was soaked in seconds and it stopped a few minutes later and boy was it stuffy after and still is , funny to think someone you've never seen or met is typing away at the same time , you're probably doing it now .
I've had one bite since I started the nettle tea and it was gone after a day , gnats must hate it , gnats nats it never looks right no matter how I spell it , who cares ?
Right nettle and camomile tea :D
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Buster, this heat must be awful for you with your breathing..
We've had torrential rain this pm and thunderstorms-it was a welcome relief from the horrendous heat. How anyone can enjoy this escapes me...it is a health hazard for so many people with medical issues.
I'm not driving tomorrow-going by train. There's another bloody strike on SouthWestern railways or whatever it's called now-just hope we make our pre-booked London train connection or we've had it! We are just going for the day so a 4 am start for me!
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4am is barely earlier than your usual 5am Pulisa? Good luck and a safe journey!! That train connection, is it pre-booked or pre-cooked? :blush:
The hossy phoned, we have to pick up the medication for Dad's CT scan on Monday for the scan on Friday. Now its just dawning on me, he needs to have the bowel flushed through. OK 'if' they find something nasty, are they going to operate? I suspect not, so why do it?
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This does seem a different approach by the gastro. I thought the GP had said all was satisfactory? Do you think your Dad may be having a colonoscopy on Friday?
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I wished you'd said you were going by train not car it's going to mean taking the banner down off the motorway bridge and putting in on the train line instead , wait until hs2 arrives you will get to Yorkshire before you've set off or so they'd have us believe , it's going to cut straight through my town , a few people I know will lose their houses , it's grim up north tha know .:D
Pretty much my whole day revolves around my breathing or lack of it , I've given up going to the docs , I have no idea when it's asthma or anxiety , at times it's like having a plastic bag over my head ( makes a change from a brown paper bag ) .
Fish it sometimes seems they do tests just for the hell of it and you come away no better off , hopefully they will get the old boy sorted , my mums liver tests never came back so we assume no news is good news , we gave the carers a try but mum didn't like it and they were very unreliable turning up late or not at all .
Still no rain , the bit we did have with thunder sent the old dog into a panic and she ran off through the door and down the street in the pissing down rain with me in tow .
5am start in the morning , off to buy crap from arrogant dick heads to turn into quality vintage items to sell to Londoners with more money than sense , just had six more bikes picked up and taken back to London , apparently no one can afford to drive there anymore .
Take care .:hugs:
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I know its not a colonoscopy Pulisa, the Dr said it was a CT scan because of his age and health issues (angina, COPD, osteoarthritis). It just registered today that he's clearly going to have to take the prep stuff, lots of water with this salty powder that tastes disgusting. I know that because Mrs F made me try some once. I'll talk to him about it tomorrow.
Glad your Mum's tests were ok Buster. That HS2 is a joke, when you think that business deals/contracts are carried out via Skype, why would anyone waste their money on a fancy train journey when the internet is going to provide virtual reality meetings? Not to mention some of you guys having to move home and SSSIs being bulldozed. Ancient bluebell woods and 400 year old oak trees gone forever :mad:
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Just popping on my thread amidst the storm, which is very brave of me with my fear of thunder and lightening. :scared15:
My thread was intended for people that were recovering from a relapse and struggling with day to day life, including myself. I wanted to share tips and coping methods so it may help others and created a form of diary.
I also wanted to avoid any discussions that may not be of encouragement or could be upsetting to some.
A relapse is a scary time for some who can be scared of the most menial tasks throughout the day, so the nature of conversations should be taken into consideration because of that.
I have noticed of late that the thread has gone off course and I am reluctantly having to comment on it.
I also feel that it is no longer my thread and responses to the content I use is overlooked and ignored.
So for this reason, I will refrain from using my thread for the purpose it was intended for and will decide whether to close it at a later date.
It has taken a great deal of courage to say these things and no doubt it will affect some of the posters, but my feelings are strong enough to make this post as it has come to a point where it is upsetting me.
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I think this is probably my fault Carnation and I sincerely apologise. No hard feelings? :hugs:
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Hi , the last thing I would want to do is upset anyone on here life is tough enough for us as it is , I know you will have gone over this many times before saying it and probably go over it many more , it does show you have got stronger because before I doubt you would have said anything just quietly let it bug the hell out of you , I think most threads on here morph into something completely different from the original idea .
People do appreciate you ideas and tips .
Take care all :hugs:
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I'm sorry if I have posted anything inappropriate or upsetting to you, Carnation.
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Thank you for your kind words.
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What seems like the strongest of people on here, still have their life battles and demons and are here because they have some sort of mental illness, no matter how small it might appear to some. That includes me.
We may be more sensitive than the normal person and find it difficult to communicate in the real world.
Or we may cover up those flaws by being extrovert to the outside world, but once indoors, take on a different persona. We might joke about or get angry with so much and may spend many times with our head in our hands.
We cover and hide our weaknesses and try to fit in with society and we might feel like we are crumbling inside.
We might find it difficult to make friends or join in and although labelled a loner, there is a yearning to be liked and loved.
We might feel sad more than other people when there is nothing wrong. We carry guilt on our shoulders, even though it might not be our fault.
We judge ourselves harder than others and we see dark more than light.
Despite all of those things, we try our hardest to live and seek light at the end of the tunnel.
We are not perfect, no-one is. We want perfection, but it doesn't exist. So maybe we are just too hard on ourselves and when you do meet others, you may be surprised to find, that they are just like you and you are not alone after all. :hugs:
---------- Post added at 01:33 ---------- Previous post was at 01:20 ----------
Taken from Churchill....
"Success is not final, failure is not fatal, it is the courage to continue that counts".
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It's been 8 gruelling months since my relapse and I have spent best part of that time clawing my way back to what you would call normality.
The fact is, most of that time is a two step forward, one step back situation, because of life's stresses and worries.
My main trigger seems to be illness, medical issues and loss, whether that be in the past or worry for the future.
Although I lost my mum just over a year ago, it is still pretty raw. I worry about losing the people in my life that mean something to me and even people that I don't know, I can relate to the other person's feelings.
The same with illness and medical issues.
I just can't deal with it very well.
I feel for other people when I hear of their pain and sorrow and when it's someone close to me, I get so scared that I won't be able to cope or even handle it mentally.
So, despite my challenging recovery and still in the process of recovering. These triggers still haunt me.
I'm far too sensitive and somehow I need to to toughen up. And when the next person asks me if I am alright, I need to smile and carry on instead of trying to dissect what and why they have said it to the point of worrying myself silly that they know something I don't!
If these things I feel that affect me were not a problem to me, I know I would not be far away from 100% recovered.
If only my brain would take that on board. :unsure:
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Hi Carnation.. I can relate big time to your recent post as physical illness is my number one trigger too. In fact, it is my only trigger !! My recovery seems to take a progressive path until I feel physically unwell in any way, and within minutes the anxiety and panic attack symptoms are there, sending me into a downward spiral again . It is so frustrating. I appear to be able to cope with other "trigger" symptoms in life with no problem at all, but when it comes to physical illness, whether its me or any member of my family, that's curtains for my anxiety. Do you think we will ever resolve this ? Take care, SM x
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That is the ultimate question SM.
I am aware that I have a fear of death and the process of that. I never used to, but I have experienced too much and seen too much with the loss of family and friends.
It's like I have had a preview and although this may sound morbid, I sometimes summarise how I am going to go, which is completely unreal as that prediction is unknown to all of us.
There is no script on that one.
Take my Auntie. She is 96, smoked 40 fags a day all of her life, consumed gin and whisky on a daily basis, has not been out of the house for the last 25 years to get any fresh air and she is still going strong. :shrug:
I think for me it is the thought of a disease or disability and being vulnerable and dependant on someone looking after you.
So that's why the least little pain, lump or symptom sets off my health anxiety.
It applies to my family as well.
I sure if I was a more, 'Don't Care' sort of person, none of this would bother me and affect me in this way, but you can't change who you are. :hugs:
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Yes I agree and empathise with a lot of your reasons Carnation, and I think likewise for most of them. What I can't understand with me is that I am, by nature, a very "laid back personality" and don't stress about whether I have enough money in the bank at the end of the month, or any other problem that may occur. I just think, "oh well, it will solve itself, or not ". But the minute I have a "health concern" I go into a frenzy !!! It just doesn't make sense. Onwards and upwards tho I guess. Take care SM x
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Because deep down, you want to live, despite your struggles with anxiety, which is caused by those thoughts. Most of the people on here joined because they are afraid for one reason or another and needed reassurance or comparison that someone else was feeling the same way as themselves.
We become too focused on the symptoms of our body, so much that the brain will alert us of danger, even if it is a small cut on the finger when chopping veggies. Straight away the brain will shout out, 'Infection'!!! When the reality is just a minor cut from a daily task that thousands of people have experienced in their lives that will heal quickly with some antiseptic and a household plaster.
I read about this sort of thing all the time on the Forum, from 'eating out of date' food to 'my cat scratched me'.
My cat has scratched me hundreds of times and my parents were always using food out of date, because they wouldn't waste anything. They would smell it and then a case of good to go.
So somewhere along the line we go from minor and normal injuries to over thinking the worst scenario.
Media can be blamed for a part in this.
Constant freaky adverts. TV with storyline of illness and death. News constantly announcing 'threat to life'. Magazines reminding us to be healthy.
If that was the case, why is it so many war heroes lived to be in their nineties?!
What we all need to do is live!
We have too much time to think. :hugs:
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It's not fun any more! The weather!
The house is like a furnace and Mr C has taken to walking around in his pants! :scared15:
Anxiety loves the heat. It's really got something to get its teeth in to.
It takes all my strength to try and stay cool, move from A-B and not worry about overheating or feeling sick.
Last weekend I was sick, 4 times, but instead freaking out about it, I blamed the local delicatessen and it's open counter. No more salad for me until October.
I try to rationalise about things more.
Stuff happens in life and we have deal with it.
Yes, I still get moments when I feel like I am walking on a mattress or freeze because of a head zap, get flushed in the face and feel like running for my life. But, I take a moment to stop, rationalise and compose and you can make those things disappear. :)
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Looks as though I have my twitchy eye syndrome back again. :lac: I blame it on the heat. I've been trying to duck away from the burning sun and high temperatures, but inside is just as hot as outside and the shade is hard to find. Between that and the lack of sleep, due to high humidity and buzzing insects, my anxiety is trying to feed me with symptoms and fear!
No matter how I feel or what symptom arises, I keep going, always wondering if I will come through unscathed, but I do somehow.
As Claire Weekes says, 'put one foot in front of the other' and keep going. It's hard and one moment my feet feel weighted and the next minute it feels like I can't feel the ground. My head feels heavy and it is difficult to hold my head up high, but focusing on the task on challenge and nothing else is the way I get through it.
I managed a long walk to the beach cafe today, which sounds very cool and enticing, but in reality there was no shade, a burning sun, hundreds of people, screaming kids and no seats at the café. :ohmy:
I immediately thought the idea was a huge mistake, but by the time I got there, I was pretty much jelly legged and sweating like athletic runner. Even though I hadn't run an inch, far from it. Just when I felt like my body wanted to slide down into a heap, a man budged up on his seat and invited me to sit in the shade. Must be one of those human angels you meet. The chances of getting a seat with only 40 chairs for potentially hundreds of customers, well, let's say the odds were against me.
Mr C was ordering some food and drinks and we perched ourselves down to watch the waves rolling in. You couldn't hear the sea for the noise of people and there was no northerly breeze like you normally get. Just a stillness and a pounding sun. :shades:
Got chatting to some people who worked for the BBC, who very pleasant and after a couple of hours, left to walk the burning walk once again. :ohmy:
I shouldn't be so hard on myself. A few months ago, I was petrified going to the corner shop and now I am facing much bigger things.
I've also been to my neighbour's garden to water her plants all on my own. And because I had a task to do, it was much easier than say, sitting still and making general chitchat while holding a mug of tea and munching on a biscuits.
So, if you venture out on your own, try to have a purpose and stay focused on your mission. Whether it is going for a newspaper, putting the rubbish out or posting a letter.
These things for someone with anxiety will feel like a 5 mike run or an hours workout in a gym, so rest afterwards is imperative. Which is why I feel like a sack of potatoes now. :wacko:
But, I can tell myself, "You did good today". :)
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Sometimes during our lives we have to care for someone who becomes ill, disabled. It's the hardest job in the world. And maybe for one reason or another they can't thank you or maybe you are left alone when this person departs from this world.
They can't thank you, but I can!
I would go as far as saying that you are a living angel.
You should be proud no matter how short a time or small a gesture. You are what the world needs to survive and make a better place.
So, here's a big THANK YOU and hug. :bighug1:
You know that saying, 'You Can't Judge a Book by it' s Cover? '. Well, it so applies to people you meet along the way.
I've met people that are well dressed and speak as a Gentleman or Lady, that turned out to be not what you seemed. A crook, a thief, broke, two-faced and so on.
I've also met people that look and dress with what seems, 'not a penny to their name', who are actually enriched with kindness and give their wealth to the needy. Then there is the person that seems to always have a chip on their shoulder that deep down just wants to be loved. And the Joker who is crying inside or feeling the pains from life. The person who has been labelled unsociable, because they don't go out or mix with people, who unknown to others wants to, but lacks confidence to do that. The quiet one who is seen as miserable, maybe suffering from depression. Or the person who screams a lot or has a habit might not be able to cope with life.
So next time you note the cover of a person and it may well be yourself, stop to think of the real reason why that person is that way.
Fear is an emotion we are born with and it is up to us to eliminate what is truly fearful or not.
Although fear is a powerful emotion, we have the ultimate control. Remember that. :hugs:
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Remember the sprained tendon?
Well it got better and now I've sprained my wrist. :ohmy:
My fault. Trying to do things too early like pruning a very stubborn shrub and fighting to cut a tough marrow. I'm actually surprised my hand isn't hanging off altogether with my stupidly and impatience to do everything myself. :lac: So, here I am, all bandaged up again. Do you think God is trying to tell me something?
I find it so difficult to just do nothing and rest. It's like I have to keep my mind busy with dozens of jobs stacking up. I have always been like that. Why am I so busy all the time? Even too busy for meditation. It's got to stop!
So, as from today, I am going to organise some sort of programme to follow with windows for rest, exercise, meditation and last on the list will be the jobs!!
Right, now off for meditation.....
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The meditation was near enough impossible. It's raining cats and dogs here, yes I know, the whole point of meditation is to block our the outside noise, but it's monsoon here at the moment. So postponed until this evening.
I think I need it bad. My eyes are not focusing properly.
It feels like I am wearing someone elses prescription glasses and I have that about to fall feeling. :ohmy:
Had that a lot lately. Since the heatwave or should I say heatwavessss? I also get it when anxiety takes control or I have a wave of panic.
Having injuries doesn't help. Bad hand and back to using the left one again, which I have to say I am getting very good at now. I also have sinus issues that wake me up in the middle of the night coughing. Haven't slept well for about 2 months now.
But, I still plod on. Just done some ironing, all with the left hand. Cut up my beans on toast, just with the left hand. It's a good idea to learn to do this anyway, because you never know when you might need it. :wacko:[COLOR="blue"]
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The last few days I have had that floaty and unsteady feeling when walking. There are so many ways of describing this feeling. Some have described it as being on a boat, a bouncy castle, feeling drunk, the ground moving. It feels weird and scary and it can come an go rapidly in times of high anxiety.
So, I have adopted a test for myself to remind my brain, that it is not a permanent state and more a state of mind.
If I walk to another room, I might pretend I am walking on a tightrope. This, although it might sound silly, reassures me that my balance is OK and shuts down the fear of falling. If I am out, I might pick up my speed when walking. Again it is a reassurance that there is nothing wrong with my legs. If the radio is on, I might do a bit of dancing and if you have the space, walk a figure of 8.
Another one of problems is standing still on a spot. I tend to look for something I can lean on otherwise I feel like I am about to fall. If I am carrying a bag, I seem to lean towards that weight. It all sounds crazy stuff, but that is how it feels. It's as if I have to have any weight evenly distributed, otherwise it affects my balance in my head. Having your legs slightly apart helps, even one foot in front of the other, but what the brain wants to do, is leave the scene altogether, so it is quite hard to stay put.
Try to stay for as long as you can, if you leave to soon, you will only be feeding the anxiety.
Do whatever you can to keep going by talking excessively, fiddling with your hair or clothes, taking in the surroundings. Wear a rubber band on your wrist to fiddle with if it will help you.
Pleased to say that my wrist is improving already, do I might be able to wear one myself. :)
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That’s really helpful, thank you. I hate that feeling that I’m about to stumble - everything feels like it’s speeding up. Love the pretend tightrope idea!
Hope you’re back to “normal” soon.
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
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I found your post today very helpful Carnation. It is one of anxiety symptoms that is the most troublesome for me, and also the most stubborn to go away !! I will try your tip and see if they help. I particularly relate to feeling that I have to always lean on something when standing still. Its very frustrating and also very frightening on times. Take care. SM x
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I hope it helps you Scass. :)
---------- Post added at 10:28 ---------- Previous post was at 10:23 ----------
SM, it is also reassuring to know that that there are others just like yourself, including me that are going through the exact same thing.
Like I said, "It is a state of mind", it does not have to be a permanent state! Anything that helps, even a bit will give you confidence. x
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Carnation, you are so right, it is reassuring to know that others are suffering the same symptoms. Anxiety can make you feel very lonely sometimes, and as much as friends and family sympathise with you, unless it has been experienced it is very difficult to understand. I do get a lot of comfort reading other peoples posts. Take care SM x
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The weather is cooler here in Stoke Carnation, THANK YOU GOD.
One night when we had the hot spell. I fell out of bed 5am I was in a deep sleep too. What a thud.
One night I was down stairs in the night, Needed oxygen. Nose drops had to do.
One day my slip on shoes will fit me. The next day they are to tight.
Need something suitable for my feet. Not with laces.
Thank you for you updates Carnation, Sorry for the moan, lots people worse than me
xxx
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And here Magic. :)
Can you believe the temperature got to 30c on the coast with 100% humidity at night? :ohmy:
It makes you feel ill, day after day.
I have that problem with shoes.
Never buy shoes or a ring when hot.
Magic, you could try some shoes with stretchable straps over the top.
I hope you didn't hurt yourself too much falling out of bed. :hugs:
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So, I'm still in that floaty and blurry eyed mode.
My tightrope walk helps, but my eye state is driving me mad.
I've tried wearing glasses, which don't make any difference. I've had longer sleep than normal. I've rinsed my eyes in water and still no improvement.
It's like I am looking at everything with blurry edges or through a smokescreen.
The one thing that makes it a little better is straightening my back. Sometimes I don't even realise I am hunching over until I catch sight of myself in the mirror.
Anxiety tends to pull you down to a point of crawling rather than walking, so I am going to try some exercises to keep myself upright as possible.
Looking at the floor when you walk is also a bad habit to get into. More hunching. :wacko:
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Had a bit of a strange day today. :wacko:
I woke up feeling a bit jaded from last night after Mr C had me in tears. All over a comment he made to me which was calling me a bully. I took it badly because I had been bullied at school and at work and it was all because I ticked him off for not wrapping the leftovers of our dinner in newspaper before putting it in the bin. (I was wondering why we were having a fly plague in the house). Well, it really upset me, the comment and I think all the stresses that had built up recently, had all come to a head and I was blubbing for England. It totally wore me out. Mr C did apologise and we made up after he forgot to tell me he had run out of his sertralene and hadn't taken one for 5 days!!! :lac:
Back to today. Feeling a bit delicate and then remembering there was a storm forecast for today. (I have a major fear of storms) :scared15:
Not a day I wanted to go out, which is hard enough at the best of times. But we had a prescription to pick up.
So, we waited until the sky didn't look too bad and went out. By this time the sky looked ok, so after picking up the prescription, we went into town.
Was just buying some things from the market when I noticed quite a few people looking up at the sky.
Well that was it for me. Legs started shaking and I was like a cat in the headlights. :scared15:
The sky was black as night and I literally pegged it to the car. I was out of breath, shaking, feeling hot and wanted to burst into tears again.
Luckily we did not have far to drive before home, which was just as well, because it was like a monsoon in a matter of minutes. Heavy thunder, lightening, pitch black, so I did my usual safety stuff, like unplug the phone, turn off the TV, take off jewellery, close the curtains, shut the windows. Mr C saw me taking off my rings and watch and questioned why I was doing that? To which I replied, "Because it is metal and stops you from being hit by lightening". He replied by saying, "Then why have you still got your glasses on?" Do you know, that actually calmed me down. I was sitting there thinking everything was Hunky Dory and the most metal item were my glasses and I didn't even realise it. :doh: You just have to laugh sometimes.
Needless to say, I am still recovering and anxiety had something to get its teeth into. I'm hoping a few hours of trashy TV will help to calm me down, as I have the big town to go to tomorrow. :ohmy:
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A little bit of catching up to do.
After my day to the big town, which was surprisingly OK.
Isn't it strange how you can have a terrible day full of anxiety and the next day you are perfectly fine.
I had all the main triggers. Car journey, shops, crowds, queuing, eating out.
It was a full day and 6 hours worth.
Although I am able to go out and do stuff.,I do have to force myself to do so. I know in my head, if I don't, then it will just make my anxiety worse.
I have noticed that when my legs are wobbling, that my knees are bent. No wonder I am wobbling. :wacko:
Maybe when we are anxious, we should take a moment to look at our posture. Knees bent, shoulders hunched, head hung down.
It is also important to take care of yourself, even if you don't feel like it. Bath/shower, hair washed, clean clothes, clean bed, regular meals, rest, work and play.
Anxiety loves to make you feel unworthy and wants you to not bother with yourself, it wants you to feel down.
It is so important to feed the mind with Life! Then the body will feel more alive. :)
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Re: Relapse! Coping, Symptoms and Tips.
More catching up to do.....
I've been doing a bit of an experiment with footwear.
My wonder was whether it was better to wear lightweight footwear, which could possibly help with the 'heavy leg' syndrome when walking or heavier footwear that could be possibly be more grounding for that more floaty/swaying feeling.
So, for the past week, I have been trying different footwear from flip flops, trainers, slip ons in both lightweight and heavy weight.
My conclusion was that no matter what footwear I wore, it made no difference and each time I changed, it took time to adjust. Heavyweight/lightweight, tie-up, slip-ons, they all felt strange at first and after a short while, my feet/legs would adjust.
The most important factor was the need to be comfortable.
I'm still struggling with standing on the spot and I have been stuck in some pretty difficult situations with people lately. It's the most uncomfortable feeling and that is why I thought I would give the shoe experiment a go.
No doubt if Claire Weekes was still alive, she would say it was all in your mind and there was nothing wrong with your legs and they were perfectly capable of getting you from A - B. So, my thoughts are now in re-wiring my mindset in the way of tests to hopefully erase any lack of confidence.
Here are some of the things I going to try.
Standing on one leg intermittently, walking a figure of 8, not holding on to anything when bending down and trying not to look for the nearest seat all the time. Also, not leaning on stuff when queueing or when people stop to chat. (I am trying the arm-fold position instead). And trying my utmost to keep my back upright and not stare at the floor all the time. :wacko:
Another of my 'things' I do when I am nervous is jabber on about a load of nonsense or speak what seems a hundred mile an hour and at times go to speak and nothing comes out!
I'm also opening up a bit more and told a few people that know me about my anxiety.
On all occasions, they were very understanding and in hindsight, they might understand me a bit more and my strange behaviour.
I bumped in to a barman from a restaurant I used to go to and don't anymore because of my panic.
The last time I was there, I practically ran out of the place and legged it down the road.
I explained why I did this and it cleared an issue.
Maybe, it is better to open up a bit more to the public, it could even help us in the long run.
Well, if celebs do it, then why not us? :huh:
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Re: Relapse! Coping, Symptoms and Tips.
I seem to have taken a couple of steps back in my progress. I can't pass a mirror without checking if I look ill or what I call 'normal'. :wacko:
I still have the twitchy eye, (left one), and I feel very nervous about the smallest of tasks, like brushing my hair, eating my dinner, brushing my teeth. But strangely OK about carrying the rubbish out, cooking the dinner and general housework. I can only take that as the 'personal' tasks are the ones that I find difficult, because they solely to do with me and my wellbeing. :shrug:
The other thing that has crept back in is the ability to just sit and rest. My mind wanders and I become fidgety. My attention span with TV is seconds before my brain looks for stuff to worry about and reading becomes impossible with trying to get comfortable and focused.
It's as if my body/mind is on high alert and I have to be prepared for it, whatever it is.
All of this helps my health anxiety no end. :wacko:
A stiff neck sends out alarm bells to my brain, hot legs make drench myself in cold water and tummy rumbling sends me in to panic, even if I have already eaten.
On the plus side, I am managing to control my acid reflux, each has been by trial and error the hard way.
I can't eat anything citrus, not too much chocolate and never late at night, definitely no shop bought pies or processed foods, shop bought cakes, fizzy drinks, cucumber, tomatoes, coffee and alcohol.
My sinuses have calmed down with the help of a spoonful of manuka honey and helped with my post nasal drip so I have been sleeping through the night without waking up choking.
My second time round hand sprain is healing again
So, no matter what the negatives, it is important to look for the positives.
It's been a long and overbearing hot summer that can push the anxiety levels up. It's hard enough to stay hydrated with anxiety, let alone when it is continental heat and high humidity.
But, there is always a fact.
We get through it and deserves some self praise. :)
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Re: Relapse! Coping, Symptoms and Tips.
Despite not wanting to go out today because of the balance issue and waking up every couple of hours during the night, I still went out. So pleased I did, because the more you try and carry on, the better you feel in the long run. :)
Sometimes I may sound negative, but my aim is always to be positive. If I don't tell it like it really is, then you have no progress.
I've been a little hyper lately, like my body is all charged up and my brain is telling me to do a hundred and one things, so it is very difficult to relax or even concentrate on doing one thing at a time.
And that's probably why I have indigestion and trapped wind. And of course I now have discomfort as well as trying to reassure my brain it is just trapped wind and not something life threatening.
It's so exhausting to keep telling my mind that everything is alright and I am not about to die.
If I counted up a day's worth of reassuring myself, I'd take a guess at maybe fifty times? :unsure:
Everything from, "No, you are not going to fall, faint, trip, go dizzy, collapse", to "you are going to be OK, it is just, wind pain, nervous tummy, too much rushing of food or gulping of air". These are just a few of the haunting worries that follow me around on a day-to-day basis. :lac:
What I would like to be thinking is stuff like this...
"What a lovely day today, I would love to go out ", or "I feel really well today and extremely healthy".
A Therapist I used to see actually suggested I try more positive outlooks, even if you don't feel them, because it helps the mind to help the body. If you like, call it faking the mood. And you trick the brain in to a more positive zone.
Let's face it, the moment you say you feel depressed, you are good for nothing for the rest of day.
And if you say you feel poorly, you have already zapped yourself of any energy.
If you have ever had a fake sicky from work and then you actually got ill? :scared15:
So, more positive mind thoughts!!!! :)
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Re: Relapse! Coping, Symptoms and Tips.
I cannot tell you how difficult it is for me to buy shoes that are comfortable . I have wasted so much money. I go bare footed in the house and outside in the back yard.
In the hot weather I found a pair of men's size 5 slip on pumps. I have worn them out though and found they let water in now So ----?
I am not depressed, I don't think so. I feel better on a day out, but not alone, I do not safe.
As my other half does not like shopping. he sits on the benches in town, bored to tears.
I was surprised when the other week I asked him if he would like to go on a tour bus to Liverpool. He agreed. Oh what joy-- not. I came home with a bottle of ginger flavoured water.
Saw no shops at all. Just the free Museums.
Thank you for your updates Carnation.:hugs:x
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Re: Relapse! Coping, Symptoms and Tips.
I never thought of that Magic. Men's shoes!?! :unsure:
The trouble with shoes/footwear is really don't know how comfortable they are going to be until you have traipsed around the shops for 4 or 5 hours. And hard concrete is so different to walking around indoors.
My feet swell in the heat and I have the most beautiful bunions, so always looking for shoes that are wider in the toe area. To think I used to wear 4 inch stilettos and run for the double decker bus in them, even jump on as it was moving off. It wouldn't happen today, for good ol' health and safety rules. :wacko:
Just a thought, maybe we should make some homemade bespoke shoes. :D
Liverpool should sound fun?
In theory, but in practise you proved it wrong.
Maybe get Mr Magic to treat you to afternoon tea. At least that way you get something for your time and money. :)
So, today I feel like a wind up spring.
I seem to be experiencing some not so nice people.
I've seen rudeness, greed, ignorance, rage and deceitfulness. I know there are some good people out there, but at the moment, I seem to be surrounded by the not so nice people. :ohmy:
As a sensitive person, it affects me to the point of getting under my skin and buried deep into my brain.
I would love to let things like this just go over my head, but I can't. Even if it is not me directly, I feel it anyway.
Apart from that, I woke up freezing today. What a drop in temperature. I know I Didn't want it hot anymore, but not like a Winter's morning in August. Still, Bank Holidays are always terrible. It's compulsory in England.
Berries on the shrubs already. :ohmy: