Possibly darksky.
I do think sometimes the things we do that we think keeps us safe actually fuels the situation in the long run.
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Possibly darksky.
I do think sometimes the things we do that we think keeps us safe actually fuels the situation in the long run.
I agree with you both on those points. I've kept on taking diazepam all these years but it doesn't cure anxiety, just masks it temporarily.
HA has kicked off today after hearing of two friends (male) who've received positive diagnoses.
As most people know me for not taking any medication and believe there have been times I've almost succumbed to meds. It's certainly not easy but not impossible. Does it cure you, well it's not as simple as that.
After ten years I have realised that anxiety is something you have to live with and manage and not react to when it's not necessary to do so, (that's the hard part).
And yes fishman, the news of a health matter from the people we know certainly ramps up the health anxiety.
Today I've spent most of the day obsessing over my eyes, floaters, spots from the sun and weird reaction from the sun rays bouncing off the metal of the cat causing momentary red light in my vision. And while Mr C tries to convince me it's all perfectly normal, my mind is trying to convince me I have some rare eye disease that causes me to go blind.
That's just a segment of what health anxiety can do.
How do we become this way? I've no idea. Experiences, knowledge, being surrounded by other people's illnesses. Realising life is precious.
I think you’re right, Carnation. I think too we tend to get on the path that we are going to “fix” everything, and we don’t quite recognize just how far we’ve really come.
It’s funny, I notice it a lot with my dog, who also has anxiety. There are so many (mostly bad, tbh) dog trainers out there who have something to sell, who will say if you just do X or Y your dog can be “normal” and I chased that dream for years. We tried so much. Finally when he was about 8 I decided to stop trying to “fix” him and just figure out how both of us could be reasonably happy as is. And not only did we both end up being happier, but I started to realize he really had come so far from where we started, he just didn’t live up to the standards of all of those other people which, whatever, it’s okay that our benchmarks for success are different.
I’ve stated applying that ideology to a lot of my mental health stuff too. I challenge what I really need to, and manage the rest. Removing the pressure of having to fix everything really has helped.
I hope you’re feeling better today, Carnation, and you too Fishman.
'Just Be' is the motto poppy.
Nothing is perfect and a lot of us try so hard to be that.
Some imperfections turn out to be beautiful in their way and that applies to things we do. A mistake in cooking can turn out a success. A painting. Gardening. And so on.
No ones brain is perfect.... You might be good manually and not academically. And as you age you should learn to use your better skills and find your comfort zone.
Still got the annoying eye floaters but got on with stuff anyway.
So true, Carnation.
I'm having a bit of a pity party. I was planning out my vacation for early fall, was going to go to the mountains and stay in a cabin. Then on Saturday, my pup came up lame and hasn't gotten better. I'm concerned that he's blown out his other knee and my vacation savings will be going to surgery, but the vet will confirm tomorrow. I'm beside myself with nerves, and I have other things to ask the vet about that I'm nervous of - it's often really hard for me to put my thoughts into a cohesive order in medical settings; not really like HA, but more just a need to get everything communicated correctly. But, I'm trying not to put the cart in front of the horse. We'll get it checked and what will be will be, I suppose. The important thing is to get him out of pain.
Poppy, you are a planner and when there's a spoke in the works it throws you all out. You can jump the gun when it comes to accessing future plans when sometimes there is no need to. I know financial planning is important to you, as anyone but the first thing is get the pup's needs sorted first and that can be assessed quite quickly. I know you put him first anyway but let's see how the next few days /weeks go before you decide whether you can or can't go on your vacation.
Thanks, Carnation. It’s a coping thing I think, get everything planned out and prepare for surprises. Being prepped gives me what is maybe a false sense of control. But one thing at a time.
I'm exactly the same poppy :hugs:
Hi all....
Im the same too about planning, like to know what’s what and everything in little boxes but in the real world things don’t always happen like that do they....Ive already bought a few Christmas presents, I saw them so bought them, don’t like leaving things till the last minute and then rushing around like a lunatic....is that such a bad thing, I don’t think so....
Fishman....sorry to hear about your friends, I Under How you feel, it really does knock you for six and tests the HA to the limit....
I remember the days in the late 70s and 80s of DIY, my kitchen table was full of engine parts where hubby had stripped it down to fix a part, or he would be respraying the entire car.....over the years we have been married we must have saved thousands upon thousands of pounds doing jobs ourselves and better than what some cowboy could do and had fun doing it....xxxx
That’s a good plan, YNWA. I agree - it’s not a bad thing. It’s good to have your ducks in a row.
I like to be ready. My family chuckles at me, because I have a bunch of emergency stuff in my car and a backpack ready with supplies so if we have severe weather (not at all a rarity) I can grab it quickly. I just refuse to be caught off guard, and it’s come in handy more than once.
I'm a be prepared person too.
Is that a good thing? Well, you can't prepare yourself for literally everything because life rarely works that way.
It's OK to have candles incase of a power cut or extra bread in the freezer for if you run out and can't get to the shops. But if you live your life prepared for everything under the sun that could possibly happen, then are you living your life as you should. And there's always an element of forgetting something. Damn, I hadn't put an alien attack on my list..... Where can I get a ray gun?
There's a prevent, rather than cure attitude which I have often followed, but again, you can take that too far...
Wrap yourself up in cotton wool and don't walk on any lines. It's not living in the moment and we certainly were not like that when we were kids.
YNWA, there was certainly something about those years when we were more hands on repairing and making stuff. Good for the brain. The making do of the 70s in particular was a good learning tool for the future.
I watched my dad fix the pump in the loo with a bit of wire hanger and did the same thing myself latter in life.
There's a proudness to that sort of knowledge. And these are things that are useful. Not filling our heads with fears by reading about this and that disease but survival tools
that we can pass down to other generations. Learning to cook, repair, make, sew, grow, heal. And still the simplest of things are the most effective.
Tooth /gum pain back again with a vengeance. :scared15:
Headache all day yesterday.
Yay, I so like the Spring..
I hope you're feeling better, Carnation!
I hiked about half a mile today along the shore of the lake, pushing through brush, debris, and marshland to rescue a floating dog toy that had gotten away from us. :roflmao:Chisum doesn't even really like that toy, but I felt bad leaving it behind. And once I got started I figured I may as well keep going. I figured as long as I didn't run into a snake or get stuck in the mud I'd be fine, and I did not, so not a bad end to the weekend.
I start my new job tomorrow (while also doing my old job until we find a replacement). I'm kind of nervous; I know it will be a good, necessary change but still. I just keep telling myself I'm really in the best case scenario right now - I get to stay where I am, I get to ease into it since I'm doing my regular job at the same time, and I know I'll have a lot of support while I'm learning. So I just have to get started.
Good luck with the new job today Poppy, it’s both exciting and nerve racking at the same time but you’ll enjoy the challenge and you’ll soon get the hang of it.
I hope since your doing two jobs temporarily, your going to get two wages....:roflmao:
That would be nice YNWA, but in this economy I guess I should be lucky they’re paying me at all! :roflmao:
I probably won’t do much beyond training and my current job duties until later this week, which is fine.
Poppy, easing in to the new position is ideal. You won't feel so daunted and before you know it you'll feel right at home.
I'm pleased you got out for your hike. A good way to shake those cobwebs and gain clear thinking.
I'm feeling much better, just a pile of jobs to catch up on.
The weekend was literally a washout so I didn't really miss anything. I can't believe the temperature for the time of year :shrug:
It is rubbish isn’t it? However I’m not moaning too much. Being careful what I wish for and all that. This time of year can catapult into blistering heat quite quickly. An ease up in the rain would be nice though.
I agree, wish this rain would disappear for a while, the garden is looking untidy and need to get other outside jobs done.
I don’t want the sun cracking the flags, just dry and pleasant, but alas it’s forecast more heavy rain and thunder here tomorrow :weep:
Hello Carnation,
I hope things are much better now. I'm currently in the start/middle of a relapse so reading about your experience and coping mechanisms and successes really helps! I'm at the stage I don't want to move or do anything and having to force myself to do stuff and you're right. It's hard trying to stay positive, it's so hard just doing the normal things and yes this is why we come here to see, hear and speak to people going through it too, we're not alone even though it often feels like it.
Thank you Auran, I'm getting there.
You might want to take a look at my other thread which is more focused more on the coping methods.
Obviously people get down about these relapses / glitches /wobbles /blip, whatever you want to call it. You just have to ride that wave until you come out the other side. And you will because more than likely you've been there before. It's a bit like rebooting /recharging. But you'll get there.
Darksky and YNWA, the weather has gone all wintery. I was cold yesterday and I've just packed all my winter stuff away. I had a pop up come up on my phone that it's going to be the wettest summer for 100 years! It's certainly starting that way.
I agree, not a fan of heatwaves but come on, some sitting in the garden would be nice.
I saw that about the wettest summer. They said it was forecast by the met office. However the very next day the met office said rubbish, we can’t forecast much past a fortnight let alone a whole summer. More doom and gloom headlines I fear.
I think this next week will be better, certainly drier.
I think you might be right darksky, I would like some drier weather to get my washing dry now the heating is off.
Heating back on and was wearing my winter coat today, it's June tomorrow :shrug:
It's crazy isn't it Carnation, I'm wearing my fleece but don't feel hot. And tbh there have been very few warm days this year at all. :lac:
HI Carnation,
Thank you! Oh which is the other threat please?
It wasn't the Daily Express by any chance that came up with the 'wettest summer forecast on behalf of the Met Office' article was it? Especially as they're often the ones constantly harping on about stuff like 'worst weather conditions for 100 years', and whatever other worst-case scenario forecast which often fails to even materialise.
Almost every autumn-early winter they regurgitate the same old same old about 'Snowmageddon', but here in the Midlands we ended up having barely any snow at all last winter (2023-24), nor the winter before it in 2022-23.
I must admit like many I'm a bit fed up with all this seemingly endless crap weather we've been having of late, but if we were having lengthy scorching hot heatwaves we would no doubt all be complaining we're too hot and the media and authorities inadvertently putting the fear of God into us about water shortages and of course climate change all over again, the latter of which they seem to have forgotten about for the time being.
The BIB; It always amazes me how certain people are seemingly able to come up with weather forecasts for an entire season while the Met Office have actually tried to put the record straight by saying 'they can't forecast much beyond a fortnight let alone an entire season', so it sounds like there's some sensationalist doom and gloom headlines perpetrated by know-it-all boffins going on right now in order to sell papers/get clicks.
Plus of course nobody can really predict the future with great accuracy regarding anything, period.
Aurun, this one.....
Carnation’s New Thread - Anxiety, setbacks and tips
Fishman, the only thing is that everything growing in the garden tenfold. Especially the grass.
We have a 'No Mow May' instigated by the Council so grass verges have grass 3ft high. When they cut it the blades of grass remain and then get blown around then rerooting everywhere including everyone's gardens.
Can't help people allergic to grass pollen.
Lencoboy I can't remember where I saw the weather forecast, it came up on a popup on my news and weather feed. I shouldn't take any notice but as it's been raining nearly everyday I couldn't help but think it possible.
But yes, you can't predict that far ahead and it is what it is.
Thank you very much!
Strange thing happened to me while I was driving...
A car had full headlights on behind me, probably because it was a bit dark with the cloudy day, still no reason for that imo.
I kept glancing in the rear view mirror, as you do, but as I did the reflection caused a group of zigzag bright lights in the corner of my eye as I turned away to look ahead. It didn't distort my vision and seemed a reaction to the reflection of the bright light. I happened several times when I glanced in the rear mirror and disappeared in second. Once the car had turned off it went away completely. I wasn't concerned but puzzled, mentioned it to Mr C who didn't think it was anything to worry about but I'm now wondering why it happened.
I know about ocular migraines and they typically last about 20 minutes but this was like the end tail of one as the zigzag lines disappear at the end of one.
It was definitely caused by the bright light. :shrug:
The Microsoft Edge newsfeed on my dad's laptop can have some of the most random (and sometimes meaningless) articles pop up at at any time; sometimes from some rather obscure/lesser known sources, which he sometimes ended up falling for himself during the first few months of him having said laptop. So even my dad who is usually quite astute about potential misinformation and the like, ended up being fooled on occasions but he often overlooked the original article source providers' names in smaller text, which is no doubt easily done by persons less familiar with and clued up about such things.
Regarding the current bad weather, I was reading an old thread on Digital Spy a few weeks back where it was mentioned that we had some rather poor summers during the latter half of the 80s (apart from 1989 and I don't personally recall 1988 being too bad either), though I do vaguely recall the summer of 1987 in particular being being a bit naff weather-wise but never really thought that much of it at the time, especially being only 10 on my birthday that year.
Also, I think holidays abroad still hadn't yet become de rigueur for the masses at that time, and certainly not more than once per year like now, which seems to have increasingly been the case since the 90s. I think most people still had more of a 'make do' kind of ethos back then where less was truly more in many instances and far less of this sheepish bandwagon-jumping, 'keeping up with the Joneses' kind of mentality, which is definitely evident with the 'multiple holidays abroad' obsession in particular that many seem to have these days.
Chisum had his knee surgery yesterday and came home this morning. Hopefully recovery will go well, but it’s a bit overwhelming. It was easier last time, since I was working at home. This time I need to coordinate with my parents to watch him a ton during the day, especially for the first couple of weeks. With starting my new job and being overloaded there, I just feel exhausted and it’s only day one.
Hopefully he is able to sleep well tonight.
Lencoboy, all I can say is this current weather certainly puts global warming into the shade, literally!
Seriously, I've had the heating on in June. Only 8c yesterday evening.
I'm glad Chisum's Op is over poppy, it's just a matter of recovery now, I know that's not as easy as it sounds.
You are good at coordinating and hopefully it won't be too long before he's able. Animals recover quickly, probably because of their survival instinct.
I'm sure you'll find your feet with your new job.
You've a head start, already know the workplace, the boss, the system. Look it as a change as opposed to a challenge.
Its a good job people don't have to pass a yearly M.O.T.
Ive got it all going on at the moment...
Pain with teeth and gum, the eye thing, sinuses, and now acid reflux has joined in. Anxiety? Well, of course it's around, why wouldn't it be. It hates to leave a good party of ailments and worry. If it were a DJ it would be playing 'The Grim Reaper' or 'Paranoid'.
Despite all that I'm still carrying on with what I have to do because I'm in charge, it's my party and I can either 'Cry if I Want to' or I could 'Keep on Dancing'. :D
Thanks, Carnation. No sleep really last night, and a lot of crying from both of us. I think it was pretty rough to start the last time too, but I don’t remember. I’m going to call the vet this morning to ask about follow up appointments, and pain management.
You are very good at keeping a positive attitude, but I hope you are able to feel a bit better soon!