Re: Relapse! Coping, Symptoms and Tips.
Windywel,
My trip was not great.
Mr C had to go to the bank first and I waited in the car, then we were supposed to look around the shops.
After waiting an unbelievable hour for him to return, I'd lost interest and wanted to go home.
It was getting very dark and very cold and I just couldn't face it.
So my anxious morning was for nothing as nothing happened. :shrug:
Windywel, those tears are much needed when we feel that way. It's the bodies way of releasing.
Insomnia is the worst. Five years ago I used to stay up til 4am, because otherwise I'd be lying in bed like some corpse in transition. Only trouble was once in bed I'd sleep until almost lunchtime.
Now I'm a waker upper throughout the night rushing to the loo as if I'd been on good drinking session.
Try some music on YouTube Windywel. Some of that lyric-less chiming, piped ambience.
Sue, I was just thinking the exact same thoughts, (soul sister). We are all feeling the exact same way at the same time.
One word..... November!
Yes, I know it's December now, but throughout November there is a drastic change in temperature, light and sun.
I rarely feel good in November.
December I can cope with and even part of January, but along comes February. We've had enough of the cold and dark by then and wait to see the first sign of new life in the form of snowdrops, bluebells and daffodils.
Anyway, that's my theory.
Sorry to hear about your full on symptoms.
If you can understand why you have them, you can deal with them. In your case you are tired and stressed.
And don't forget about your sister.
I've noticed you only mention the tics and OCD issues when you are engaging with events to do with your sister.
It may be a coincidence but just a thought. :shrug:
Wishing you a good bite Sue. x
Re: Relapse! Coping, Symptoms and Tips.
Hi carnation...sorry your trip didn’t go well...an hour in the bank, what was going on...:unsure:
don’t think I would have felt like doing anything after that. Yes your right when you feel like crying just cry, don’t hold back, I cry a lot when I’m anxious or down, if fact I can cry at anything really...but it does do you good to get it all out.
Im a waker upper too, every couple of hours either for a drink or a wee, then I’m up early and knackered again a couple of hours..later lol...Your right Sue we all seem to be going through a bad patch together, must be something in the air...although I’m not particularly good this time of year anyway, the anxiety/panic started in winter and believed I would die before Christmas, so maybe that has something to do with it deep in my subconscious, not a fan of January, it’s a long boring nothing month plus my dad died in January so that doesn’t help. Love when March is here and clocks go forward and new life begins...
Sue I hope you have a good shift at work and you feel better soon,
Windy well I hope you start to feel better soon too, it’s awful what we have to suffer,
On a bright note my anxiety has come down a couple of notches tonight, I’m just tired and terrible back ache with all the tension high anxiety brings...
Hope everyone has a good night and Sue a good day,
love and hugs to everyone.....:grouphug::bighug:
Re: Relapse! Coping, Symptoms and Tips.
Thanks all. Woke up this morning and cried buckets! Definately having a blip or a relapse or whatever it is. It is beginning of summer supposedly here though in Wellington where I live it’s never great weather. It’s blowing a howling gale the lat few days and that never helps my mood. Anyway given that it’s supposed to be the season of warmth, light etc youd think I’d be feeling but no. I did have a few good days last week and thought yay the meds are starting to work but here we again - back in the pit of despair, feeling like they’re never going to work and I’m going to be stuck like this. Don’t know what’s going on really - could be something to do with Mary saying that I felt defeated when she was giving me the shiatsu yesterday. Definately seemed to trigger something as I went all hot when she said it. I do feel defeated by the anxiety and depression. When I was on the meds before I got all my confidence back - felt normal and capable - but now I am back to feeling like I’m really dependent on my husband and am pretty useless and incapable. I know I should be saying this too shall pass but it’s hard to believe that right now. Let’s hope that we really all feel better soon. Must have something to with Christmas - I know I am subconsciously feeling quite stressed about it and I had really wanted to better by then. We are going over to stay with my parents in law about an hour away and having it with my mother and sister and her family too. I am nervous about being away from home.
Carnation I’m sorry you had all that worry about the trip for nothing.
hope you all have a better day/evening x
Re: Relapse! Coping, Symptoms and Tips.
Well aren't we a cheery crew! :grouphug: But at least we have each other, and that is something I am VERY grateful for.
Great observation, Mrs. C, on my tics and OCD seeming to re-appear when I've had to spend time with my toxic sister. I'm sure that's not a coincidence, but I never noticed that pattern before. Actually I get very nervous about possibly having them in front of her so that's probably why they start before the get-together and carry through a few days after it's over. I may just start a log and track them to see if that's truly when they peak.... interesting theory!
May day was OK. Work wasn't terribly busy or stressful, or perhaps it's because I decided not to let it be. Since I had the place pretty much to myself (which is rare) I was able to pace myself, not be interrupted by non-stop chatter every minute, and pick and choose which chores were the most important and which could wait. We are in the midst of a snowstorm so most people either didn't show up or left early - me and the animals had a peaceful afternoon. :)
I haven't had a good cry in a while... perhaps I'm due. But what I'm REALLY due for is for my husband to go back to the office soon! He had surgery 12 days ago and I feel like we have been joined at the hip ever since. He's been working from home, and even when I go to the shelter to perform my work, he goes with me (to volunteer)! Then we went to the eye doctor together, and a few errands, etc. I NEED SOME SPACE! I'm off for the next two days so hopefully he is going back to the office tomorrow. I love him, but.....:wacko:
OK, so "This too shall pass" isn't going to work for us during this negative spell, so instead let's try "Whatever. This is who I am, this is how I'm made, and me and everyone else will just have to deal with it. Every day can't be glorious."
Sending loving thoughts to all my fellow warriors on here. We've survived worse, and we'll survive this, too.
Sue
Re: Relapse! Coping, Symptoms and Tips.
Thanks Sue yes need that new motto today - it’s been a write off! Been tearful and down all day and cried bucketloads. I really thought I was getting better - can a blip really be this bad?! My yoga teacher who did the shiatsu massage reckons this is all from that - a catharsis moment but I just don’t know that I can believe that. I’m back to all the what if’s again
Re: Relapse! Coping, Symptoms and Tips.
Hi Windywel...
sorry you have have had a bad day, but crying will do wonders for getting all that tension out. A blip can come in all shapes and sizes and will have various times that it can last, you also think... I’ve never been this bad before, but if you stop and think logically...you have, you have just let the other times go once the horrible feelings have passed. I used to make a diary of how I was feeling so when I was having a bad time or a symptom pop up that worried me I would look back in my diary and see I have felt like that loads of times and all the symptoms I have had before. Sometimes you know what’s caused your blip, stressful situation, upset...negative thoughts...etc....but sometimes you just don’t know why it’s come back, the key is acceptance when it does, but that is very hard to do and takes practice, sometimes I can do it, other times I can’t....You can also still get anxiety Symptoms when you don’t think your particularly anxious, sometimes that’s hard to accept...but it’s true....I know about the what ifs... they are a pain in the bum when that voice in your head won’t shut up...but again give it time, make sure your body is relaxed by dropping your shoulders, and flop like a raggy doll, tension can’t come if you keep relaxing your body...it will get easier it always does, it can only reach a peak then it has to come down....lots of love xx
Re: Relapse! Coping, Symptoms and Tips.
Thank you so much YNWA - such sage advice that I will keep referring back to. Xx
Re: Relapse! Coping, Symptoms and Tips.
Morning /Evening everyone :hugs:
Thank you YNWA x
Yes, I wasn't even in the mood after that yesterday. Something to do about cyber attacks which was rife on Black Friday. :mad:
I had such a bad night's sleep last night due to my sinuses. Cough, cough, cough, choke, cough, cough, nose streaming..... Central heating and me, not a good mix.
You've just hit on something for me.
Not liking certain times of the year because of death or illness.
I was very poorly 2 years ago in November and thought my time was up! :scared15:
It set off my anxiety big time and I've not managed to climb above a reasonable level of confidence since then.
You'd think after 2 years I'd be free of the fear, but oh no, brain won't let it go.
Being more dramatic, I think I'm going to die everyday!
It's a massive fear of mine and Mr C says I'm wasting my life thinking about dying all the time. :ohmy:
I need to sing that song, "Let it go, let it go". :blush:
And anniversaries of passed family members brings a certain dark cloud, I agree.
There's some about Christmas where you think you ain't gonna make it. :scared15:
Why a religious date would make us think that, I don't know. But it might have some to do with being joyful and not wanting to participate or accept any 'Happy Christmas' and 'Good New Year'.
Maybe we need to work on that. :shrug:
YNWA, I think your anxiety has come down because you have no choice but to take things easy.
You have been forced to relax!
As they say, 'God works in mysterious ways'. :winks:
Windywel
Aw, you are really suffering at the moment :hugs:
First of all, I want you to accept crying as a good thing.
It needs to come out.
So when you have another episode, because we all do, accept it! Release your inner emotions. That's all it is, emotions. So much easier to handle than an overload of adrenalin.
And imagine yourself as a child and comfort yourself.
I'm a far cry, (excuse the pun), from a child, but I bought something I could cuddle. It's a fluffy rabbit. And a really soft blanket. Wrap yourself up and just feel the comfort. :hugs:
Sue, I have to say I was quite surprised when you told me hubby became a volunteer at the Centre.
Seriously I thought, "what's she doing? That's her escape, her thing". :shrug: sorry, I say it how I see it.
Your hubby sounds so caring and supportive of you, but you can have too much of good thing. It's called 'strangling'. Sue, please tell me off if I've overstepped my opinionated comments. :blush:
Mr C and have worked together 3 times now and we always clash, but it works if we are doing different sections. Like our Pub.
But we do come from the same place, thought wise, it's just that suffocating, "he's around me ALL the time! :wacko:
So I'm having a quieter day today. Yeah, pigs fly.
I'll reword that as a more controlled day and might even throw in a bit of tlc. :winks:
Re: Relapse! Coping, Symptoms and Tips.
Hi Carnation
I can so relate to what you have said, mine didn’t start with me being ill, but 2 friends who died young and I thought I was going to be next, which gave me my first panic attack, and then one after another after another, along with high anxiety and all its symptoms I was so convinced I would be dead before Christmas....Like you that fear has been with me ever since, that was 1983...so I definitely should be used to it now.. I love Christmas and that fear of dying just before it means I will miss it and also it will make everyone sad and they won’t enjoy Christmas either..and I don’t want to spoil it for anyone .so silly when you think of it logically, but my brain doesn’t always do logic...Your right about being happy, it’s like I shouldn’t be cause if I let my guard down something bad will happen, so my mind is on a 24/7 guard, no wonder I’m knackered all the time...don’t get me wrong, there are better days and I cherish them and feel like I could conquer the world, just wish it would last...My hubby says same to me that I’m wasting my life by worrying about dying and he’s right but how do you stop it...xxx
Re: Relapse! Coping, Symptoms and Tips.
Sounds like we're all still climbing our way out of the hole.....but we will, we always do.
Mrs. C..... you did not over-step at all.... you were reiterating exactly what I was saying in my post: that my husband is suffocating me and strangling me and is much too needy and clingy for my comfort. He always has been, and we have had major fights about it over the years, but he just doesn't seem to understand and he gets very hurt and upset and defensive and angry when I bring it up so I have to choose my timing and words wisely. He is a wonderfully kind, loving, giving soul who lives to do things for others, and that's a great quality. I'm very lucky (as everyone always tells me) to have him in my life. BUT.... he has no original ideas, motivations or goals of his own.... he just latches onto and follows mine. He thinks he's supporting me, but it gets very annoying and frustrating.
Yes, it's wonderful that he now volunteers at the animal shelter. And his full-time job supports volunteer work and for every hour he volunteers there, they actually donate some money to the shelter. But for the 20 years he's worked there he never volunteered before - he only started when I started working there! Honestly, when I work the one weekend a month, I do like having him nearby for assistance because it gets very busy and crazy, but the fact that he's been home recovering from surgery for 2 weeks and being glued to my side has taken it's toll. So hopefully when he goes back to the office in a few days, I can start to get some space again.
You had me thinking about why my tics and OCD is flaring, and yes, it probably has to do with my holiday with sister, but it could also very well be that hubby has been at my side for 12 days! And while typing this I just got a brainstorm that perhaps I should make an appointment with my hypnotherapist - I'll bet he could work some magic for these tics. But then I also thought "he will ask me how I'm doing with my meditation practice, and I realized I haven't been. So perhaps I should try going back to meditating and THEN go up and see him.
This forum is great - not only do we get support and advice from others, but we also get to talk to ourselves while typing, which brings up all kinds of ideas. :)
Yes, things could be better, but they could also be a LOT worse. I'm hanging onto that mantra for today.
Sue