Originally Posted by
jray23
NoraB, thank you for making your post. Though like you, I have mostly gotten a handle on my health anxieties over the years, I've been in a rough patch the past couple of weeks. It came to a head this week as I took a road trip to the northern Michigan wilderness with my girlfriend for a "pandemic-free" getaway. I suddenly found myself in the middle of nowhere, with no cell service, (but with wifi at the cabin so I could see this) a far drive from any hospital, and feeling exactly as the OP, Pertinent, described. Weak, wobbly, dizzy, exhausted, hyperaware, etc. And so my mind went all the way down the rabbit hole that here I was, stuck in the wilderness, about to collapse and probably die because there would be no ambulance to even get to me, let alone take me to a hospital in time. The fact that I am far from an "outdoorsy" guy definitely added to the anxiety as I was in a type of environment I was not even remotely familiar with.
It made for a pretty rough first two days as I tried to suppress the panic and anxiety as much as possible so as not to ruin the trip for my gf, trying to smile for pictures and such. What I didn't realize at the time was that fighting it, suppressing it, was the exact opposite of what was needed. Fortunately the gf had taken the first couple of days easy too, and so we weren't very active. But then the third and final day came and we had several things on the agenda and I was sure my body would just completely shut down on me.
I lied awake late that night catastrophizing and ruminating over and over and finally I decided to read the NMP forum and then boom, here was this thread. Reading your post I resolved that my weapon the next day against my fear would be the acceptance and expectation you described. That in my state, there was no way the day would be free of troubling symptoms and troubling thoughts, I had put my body through the wringer far too much for it to just evaporate in a day. I also decided to meet those symptoms with a reframing of my body as you said, that they weren't a sign of imminent death, or doom, but rather they were a sign that my body is putting up with quite a bit of hassle from my brain and soldiering on anyways! That my body is strong enough to go on a moderate hike, etc.
So I went through the day with that exact line of defense, and sure enough, the wobbly feelings came, the sense of doom, the feeling of being short of breath, etc, all came on several times throughout the day...and it wasn't easy but each time I reminded myself they were supposed to happen, accepted that they would continue, and that my body was enough. 17,000 fitbit steps and a lot of wonderful natural scenery later, I had gotten through the day, and it turned out to be quite an enjoyable and memorable day! So thank you once again. I'm continuing that pattern now at home, but it's of course much easier now in familiar territory.
Pertinent, I can't offer any advice better than NoraB did. Accept and reframe. It will be a prolonged battle, not an instant win. But you can do it.
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