Is this withdrawals or start up
I need your help so I stoped my meds over 8 days and started a new med
. Anyway my mood has crashed I am in dark deep depression, I can’t drive, I’m dizzy, I’m sick, I got no energy. What the hell is going on ? Last week I was absolutely fine how quick has this escalated
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Re: Is this withdrawals or start up
side-effects from the medication - they are nasty things to be honest
Trigger - I can’t get out of my own head...
So after a too fast taper and a crash in my mental health I find myself back in that deep dark depression which I managed to beat last year! I have reinstated my medication and I am 25 days on Wellbutrin and I am waiting to ‘stabilise’ but at the moment my head is going at 200mph and fixing on to things which I never normally would ... I see bleach my brain says drink it.... I see scissors ... my mind said cut it... it’s just awful - I do not want to hurt myself or commit suicide at all but these thoughts I can’t stop and I’m trying to remember how I stopped them last time but it’s all a blur.... I’m in therapy for the last year, I have made myself leave the house when I don’t have the energy to , I am spending time with family and trying not to stay alone but please if anyone knows how to get out my head please let me know! I can’t have any more meds than I am on already (quetiapine, buspar, mirtazapine and Wellbutrin)... my psych has suggested using benzos to calm my mind when it’s too fast...
Re: Trigger - I can’t get out of my own head...
You can get out of your head if you are present. Be. Focus on your breath. Your senses. Focus on the now. Dont think about what if or what will be or what was.
Re: Trigger - I can’t get out of my own head...
It sounds to me like your anxiety has ramped up and your mind is overstimulated. Are you finding it really hard to concentrate? Are your thoughts racing? This can be very tiring if so.
You are getting intrusive thoughts and these are always more intense and more frequent when overall anxiety levels go up. I've spoken to many OCDers who say this and also say the opposite is true in that as those levels subside the thoughts decrease.
Whilst these thoughts can be very scary, they are literally just the subconscious blurting stuff out that normally would be catered for by some other process or ignored because they are meaningless. So, try not to panic as they come and don't analyse them negatively i.e. obsess over what they mean, because they mean nothing, its just a hyperactive self protection system. Try to acknowledge them as simply thoughts, no more important than a thought popping in to buy some milk when walking around the supermarket.
With this being a drug withdrawal issue, I don't know if that will be possible and it may mean riding this out first but if so, it's something to try.
Try to calm your nervous system with anything relaxing, an exercise or activity, breathing work, etc. Again, this may not work for you right now but it may help with adrenaline levels. Too much adrenaline ramps up these thoughts too so a bit of gentle exercise or breathing work can help with this.
If you can, resist any urges to protect yourself from these scenarios in the thoughts e.g. don't hide knives or lock the bleach away, because as you already know this is not something you would do and reacting this way can keep them going.
It's good to know you have your family to support you. When things are really bad, feeling some safety from their presence can be very important.