Re: Have I got rectal cancer?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
brucealmighty
Treating your health anxiety is more important at this stage. If you took as much interest in your mental health as you do going through your poo, you'd be on your way to having a stronger mental health state.
Read this and let it sink in Toby, James is spot on. no ones having a go at you or being nasty, but this thread has run on way longer than it should have, got you precisely nowhere and by your own admission recently most of your posts are down to boredom.
Step back and change your methods, your original question `have I got rectal cancer` is an odd one to ask a forum of enthusiastic amateurs with little or no medical training
I hope you haven`t got anything serious physically, but you do 100% have health OCD, possibly crossing over into mild scat/coprolagnia - don`t take this as gospel this is an aero engineer guessing, not a doctor.
have a good day whatever you`re doing. I`m off out now with my dog so read this or don`t, it doesn`t matter
I know no one is being nasty, people are just being firm
I can't argue with you, you're right, in the end I'll have probably wasted my time being on here but I am mentally ill, I just can't seem to get rid of this, not googling (which I'm still not doing AS much) to some people is treatment but to me feels like avoidance, same with not checking what my bowel movement is like
I googled mild scat and wish I didn't now....:scared15:though outsiders would have a lot of questions if they saw that rather shameful 4-5% of my camera roll occupied by bowel related content without the health anxiety context
Re: Have I got rectal cancer?
My A Levels are all paid for now
I've been out to various places a lot over the past few days, it feels good, but it would feel better to enjoy my time out without this big bowel cancer weight
I feel like, whenever I look at my family, I just think of how I'm possibly going to leave them behind soon which is probably nonsense but still
And I can't even go 5 minutes without noticing a new symptom.. I woke up today with very mild cramping because I needed to go to the toilet and that set the tone for the rest of the day as I was scared it was because of a tumor, every time I look in the mirror I feel like I've lost weight in my face and generally look skinner, I'm getting sensations in my lymph nodes which I'm sure is just anxiety but I'm convinced it's because they're all about to raise..
But I'm excited to get on with my A Levels I guess. I've figured out how I'm going to do them, as well as the routine and I'm gonna repeat the revision methods that worked best for me at GCSE
Sorry it took me a few days to reply
Re: Have I got rectal cancer?
I'm struggling now because I have no motive to stop me from googling :(
I haven't done it all day but right now I have a strong urge to do so
I can't describe how hard it is, to those who don't have HA, it's just the worst feeling ever when you can relate even in part to these nightmare-ish stories about cancer... it's the lowest, most hopeless feeling
Re: Have I got rectal cancer?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Toby2000
I googled mild scat and wish I didn't now....:scared15:though outsiders would have a lot of questions if they saw that rather shameful 4-5% of my camera roll occupied by bowel related content without the health anxiety context
People do have some weird fetishes. Then there are offshoots like Space docking and some weird thing with a bloke getting a BJ whilst on the toilet which has a name too. :ohmy: Whatever you do don't look up the 1 cup 2 girls thing. :emot-puke: I can't say I've seen anything other than a bowel obsession in this thread though in a classic anxiety sense so perhaps not worth a worry other than a few bottles of brain bleach now needed after that type of Googling :biggrin: I hope you've got an adblocker installed because Andrex must be bombing you with ads by now :winks:
Re: Have I got rectal cancer?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Toby2000
I've told them I'm not necessarily convinced by what they're telling me a few times but they say there's nothing else they can do.. yes I could treat the possible hemorrhoid but I just know deep down that the drug, even the stronger drugs, won't do anything for them and it'll just trigger me even more
I think you will be very far off the kind of roids people with the extremes have. It's not like you have it sticking out of your bum.
In any case they just burn 'em off with a laser or band them when they get too large.
If you are not going to treat them you will have to learn to accept they will potentially bother you for years and years. You've not even had them that long so a few weeks of treatment and they might be sorted. But for the sake of being afraid them not going means cancer, which is completely illogical and you do know this, you are giving into your anxiety and allowing it to trap you into inertia and all the negative behaviours of anxiety disorders. You WILL have to deal with this because otherwise anxiety is very likely going to be there for a very long time.
You will also find yourself alone with this because there comes a point where those around you won't respond when they know you are refusing the simplest of everyday treatments for a common ailment. You are far from alone in this respect as we can see on NMP but I wonder where else refusal to treat medical conditions will crop up in your life and make you suffer more than you should? Will you be refusing to take an antibiotic because if the first course fails to clear up your chest infection you believe it must be lung cancer?
Anxiety is trying to keep itself alive. There is a point in these disorders where you are afraid to change because you fear how life will be without the anxious you. I've been through that and know others on here and in walk-in groups who have been through it too. It's a trick of the disorder trying to keep you safe in a bubble. All it leads to, if you don't break out of it and accept life can be different, is a life of anxiety.
Re: Have I got rectal cancer?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Toby2000
Can't argue with that. I know we've been over this but I just assume/d they're correct usually because they're posted by sites such as Cancer Research etc
I know, that's right, but this just feels like a huge weight on me 24/7, like I can never escape it, I just NEED to get it over with but I'm stuck like this.
Yes, you would expect such stories have been vetted but I think there are question marks over the validity of some of the medical miracles we see out there. I would love to know what specialists think about this because you have to bare in mind, Toby, big charities are run by execs these days who's job used to be flogging you elec or cars and now it's just flogging you bad stories to get your cash.
We expect medical information to accurate. Try asking panic_down_under about his recent post about the listed side effects of SSRI/SNRI's and how some of them list infectious disease which is impossible. The issue being the med depressing the immune system...in someone with a disorder that can also do the same and the meds have been found by research to actually boost immune system function. Yet the drug companies list this as a possible when it's nonsense.
This is it can be hard with even trusted sources and to the HAer it is all too easy to be sucked in.
Re: Have I got rectal cancer?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Toby2000
I don't know what happened to him, I really don't.. and it's just a risky game with my anxiety to treat the possible piles because I'd panic if they returned, even if I knew rationally that they can recur past treatment
But I also wasn't going to get a rigid sigmoidoscopy originally because I thought that the consultant wouldn't find piles and I'd go home terrified but he did.. taking a chance can sometimes be worth it
Exactly. Anxiety wants to smother you in a comfort blanket whilst making you feel worse at the same time. It's a "better the devil you know" issue where it's saying even though you feel terrible what if stepping out of your comfort zone is slightly worse?
This is what therapy and learning about these disorders is about. You don't go flying off when in the height of emotion, you wait to calm down first. One thing you can do is use something like a Thought Record to examine your fear, or a Theory A/Theory B worksheet, when you are feeling better. Then when you struggle you refer back to that. Notice the only difference between you in both cases is right now you are in a panic. Why does panic mean you are more likely to have xyz and need test xyz? Panic has no bearing on it other than to make you want to rush in for that reassurance, it can't make you now have cancer when last week a calmer you knew you didn't.
Re: Have I got rectal cancer?
Wise words from Terry here. You're still focusing on the bowel issues as being your main problem rather than the anxiety, unfortunately, and if you want to recover you're going to need to develop a little more self-awareness.
Re: Have I got rectal cancer?
Quote:
I can't say I've seen anything other than a bowel obsession in this thread though
Likewise :yesyes:
Re: Have I got rectal cancer?
If you had cancer Toby you would be feeling so very ill, I should know I lost three family members to cancer, grandfather, great grandfather, and an Aunt. Within six months before their diagnosis, they were so weak and tired and loosing weight and sleeping all of the time, they went and got checked and yep cancer, as it progressed they got sicker, I see nothing in your postings saying what my family members experienced. I have had friends that had cancer and beat it, none of their symptoms were like what you are having and one had rectal cancer. Anxiety plays hell with our bodies and can cause all kinds of bowel issues, anal fissures and piles can cause bleeding as well as wiping too much, due to the walls of our anal areas being so thin, why it's recommended to use soft toilet paper or a bidet to clean the area. I know I said I wasn't going to post here any more in this thread but I do check to see how you are doing if you got help and or started living life. As for me I can't leave the house now due to my agoraphobia.