Re: Deleting threads, future replies -
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Decent of Hypo to apologise for deleting his thread but he's hardly the only one.
Absolutely! ...and in reply I will say that usually admin comment or other users comment to those people who do so. I know I have in the past made comment to people who have deleted threads, saying it was disrespectful. I think the reason this one hit home more was the length of time and input that was put into it by so many, and the timing and reason for the deletion. (which I won't detail here)
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a real kick in the teeth when we're struggling ourselves.
Yep, you've hit it on the nail there!
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Well just waiting on the administration to reinstate the thread.
Re: Deleting threads, future replies -
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Originally Posted by
Hypo27
Ok then yes I would like you to undelete it please. It’s was selfish of me to do so.
Could it be closed instead of deleted? I feel that hypo’s comment about finding it toxic is relevant to this discussion. After all, it is his thread.
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
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Yes, absolutely, thats a good point and idea Scass. Reinstated thread, but locked. Then the words aren't lost for future reference, but Hypo isn't tempted to add more to it.
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The thread wasn't just toxic for Hypo though and I agree that it should be locked not reinstated. We don't want more of the same once this has blown over and business is resumed...
---------- Post added at 08:48 ---------- Previous post was at 08:17 ----------
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Originally Posted by
KK77
Decent of Hypo to apologise for deleting his thread but he's hardly the only one. Personally, I'm past furiously paddling upstream trying to "help" these members when they are so selective in their replies. But anxiety can make us very empathetic to others suffering in the same way and we naturally want to help. Therefore such selfish behaviour can be a real kick in the teeth when we're struggling ourselves. And for regular members on NMP it's not always as easy as simply avoiding or ignoring certain threads when they are constantly bumped by demanding posters.
Head workers indeed :lac:
An argument for locking controversial threads when the desire for attention is the overriding motive?
Re: Deleting threads, future replies -
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Originally Posted by
pulisa
An argument for locking controversial threads when the desire for attention is the overriding motive?
I don't know anything about Hypo or the thread that was deleted. However I do know what it's like to feel wound up by people on here, and we do I think have to remind ourselves that this only an anonymous online forum. I feel that Hypo has been got at a bit. I mean does anyone ever actually reread any of these posts? We all get annoyed when we try to help someone and we're ignored but having a strop about it only harms ourselves.
I completely agree with Pulisa's suggestion to lock controversial threads, and indeed I can't believe this isn't already the policy. I do know from my experience on here that the person seeking the attention usual gets a clear path and the people trying to help or who get wound up by it get a telling off from admin.
And as people rightly point out, we each have our real life issues we have to deal with, so adding to our woes because of the cyber world seems a bit unnecessary and is surely preventable.
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This is a reoccurring situation on the Forum.
Members need help or reassurance and if I am honest, substitute therapy. And there are some great people on here that put their own problems to one side to help others and strangely they are the ones that don't ask for help often and just get on with life. That becomes frustrating to those members, especially when they have found time to help someone. So then you get a situation where the poster keeps posting the same problem, same questions, not replying or taking any notice of what people are saying to them, then the whole thing gets out of hand and anger then comes in to play and out of control. So the poster deletes the thread which causes more problems as members see it as a complete waste of time and the poster of the thread just wants it closed because it has got out of control to the point of being aggressive and hurtful. Some members see this as an opportunity to jump in and attack when the thread becomes toxic, remembering that anger can be an issue with some anxiety sufferers and they see this as an opportunity to vent their own grievances.
And I agree that the thread should not be deleted, for the reason of reference and members time spent. Deleting causes more bad feeling and a sense of control over others. Like a 'there', I had the last word, you can't say anything now scenario. A scenario that could go on for weeks, months, even years.
Hypo, well done for coming on and answering to all this and agreeing to reinstate your thread.
That is a very honourable thing to do.
How do we get round this problem? By closing and not deleting? That's a good start. As for the hostility on threads or not replying or listening to members?
Unfortunately that is real life as it is today. Not nice, but a fact. I recently sent five texts with no replies.
It's rude, it's annoying, but sadly out of our control. Or is it? My o/h says, if someone doesn't reply to you, don't bother with them. Either they don't want to know or can't be bothered.
In the end, we have to look after ourselves first and foremost. And although we may want to help solve the world's problems, there is only so much you can do.
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Hiyer, some good thoughts from last two posters. I just wanted to say though that this particular thread wasn't deleted because people got irrate (though there was some frustration building), admin hadn't had to step in to deal with any issues. I thought it was still useful communication (mind, I might had missed some later posts). The thread was deleted, that I could see ,for the reason that the OP 'was entirely certain they have/had cancer, beyond any doubt' despite having no evidence. The OP thought the thread could trigger people, as other people struggling with HA about oesophagal cancer might think they TOO would also have cancer !Closing and locking threads is a good way to go, if the OP wishes them 'ended', and it still leaves the information attached to the OP so that all the assistance offered can be read back. What do admin think, or is that already a policy ?
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In that case Carys, it begs the question as why the thread was deleted as it could well help others and a good amount of time was obviously spent discussing a topic that could prove beneficial for any future similar situations.
Re: Deleting threads, future replies -
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In that case Carys, it begs the question as why the thread was deleted as it could well help others and a good amount of time was obviously spent discussing a topic that could prove beneficial for any future similar situations.
Yep, exactly. :lac: