Re: Stag do Nightmare - I don’t want to go.
It's natural to feel bad about letting someone down, even someone who is a stranger. It just says you aren't a selfish person. But we do suffer from over kicking ourselves and build it up more than it is.
It's better to be caring and considerate than a selfish person who would just let him down without a care due to being detached or self absorbed.
He's going to be disappointed because he wants you there to enjoy it with him but if he cares about you he will put them behind him and show concern for your health.
Re: Stag do Nightmare - I don’t want to go.
Yeah you’re right mynamelsterry, i’ve done nothing but kick myself since making the decision. I can’t help but think how big of a disappointment I’m being. I have my parents coming over today so I can break the news to them. Especially for my Dad’s sake really. I’m sick with nerves.. I just keep playing the secenario of me telling them over and over in my head and all the ways they could respond negatively to me. I really really hope they don’t because the amount of beating myself up I’m doing, I don’t need the 3rd degree from anyone else! Wish me luck 😞
Re: Stag do Nightmare - I don’t want to go.
Wishing you all the luck in the world.
Re: Stag do Nightmare - I don’t want to go.
Re: Stag do Nightmare - I don’t want to go.
I really doubt your parents will be overly disappointed in you missing the stag do. The important thing for them will be the wedding, which you are going to. They will be far more concerned with how ill this is making you feel.
this is anticipatory anxiety you are feeling now, always, always far worse than the event.
good luck but I'm sure you won't need it.
Re: Stag do Nightmare - I don’t want to go.
You are predicting what will happen and they will probably be very laid back about it. Why wouldn't they be? Why would they be disappointed if you are making yourself ill with worry about the fear of going?
Re: Stag do Nightmare - I don’t want to go.
Well guys I did it and you were all completely right!!! They came over and I just broke down. I told them everything, they couldn’t have been more supportive. I explained how I felt and they just wished I’d said something sooner. My dad admitted he’s not that looking forward to it either so think he’s a bit disappointed i’m not going to be there for company but he said I have to think of myself in this situation. I had planned on telling my brother face to face tomorrow but I was in such a state my mam phoned him there and then to tell him, he couldn’t have been more supportive either and completely undertood. He’s having an at home stag do in July so I’ll be going to that one. I feel so much relief, wish I’d said something sooner but was kidding myself that I’d be ok and couldn’t let people down. Still feeling a bit bad for my dad and now a bit embarrassed that all my bro’s mates are going to know I’m not going, but all in all feel really happy and relieved. Thank you all so very much for the advice and support you’ve sent me over these last few days. I’ll definitely stick around and give back. Thank you 😊
Re: Stag do Nightmare - I don’t want to go.
Humph, it's really fantastic when people listen and engage. Most of us have been in a similar situation one way or other, and I know how guilt inducing it can feel to try and back out. You've done the right thing, though, and I know you're going to be a fantastic best man and a great brother-in-law.
Re: Stag do Nightmare - I don’t want to go.
Thank you blueiris that’s a really nice thing to say. Really appreciate that!
Re: Stag do Nightmare - I don’t want to go.
Am so pleased that it's all turned out well for you!