Hey, sorry you've had a bad few days :hugs: hopefully just a short blip so please dont loose hope :hugs: hope your feeling better :hugs: x x
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Thanks for the words of support Belle, Jo, petram & Nicola :) Really appreciate it man and thanks for caring :) It's really good of you.
I'm unsure why I've gone down a bit with increased anxiety. I'm not really worried about anything in particular apart from the fact that my mind races and I'm unable to think clearly. This leaves me in a state of confusion and unable to perform tasks particularly well. The cognitive side of my head is utterly trashed at times.
I can probably put it down to a number of factors I guess as to why my melon got twisted lately. It could be a combination of the followng:
- Reduced diazepam from 6MG to 5MG. I was feeling so damn good I wanted to take the diazepam down again but perhaps I need to taper down slower to .5mg each time. I just want to get off the stuff.
- Have met up with my ex-girlfiend twice in the past week so emotions were a bit high. First time we've seen each other in 8 months. So that caused more thoughts to whir around my head. But, it was pretty positive.
- Yeah, work. Always going to be difficult. It's not the actual work itself, more the awkwardness of going back and facing people. But, it's happening so I'll give it a try. I am concerned that my brain just won't be able to function enough to do what I want to do. But it's only 2 days next week to start so I just need to get through them if I can.
- Have been waiting for CBT sessions for 10 weeks only to find it can't happen until mid-January at the earliest. The NHS is, well I don't want to use bad language so I won't, but at times I find it ridiculous that mental health isn't dealt with better.
- Sorting out my accounts and tax bill.
- Decorating my sodding flat. It's going on forever and taking up valuable yoga space ;) The place is a mess.
- Lots of other incidental things.
It's a bit weird in that when I try to think of any of the above they don't actually really bother me. I can rationally look at all of them, analyse the situation and feel no panic or anxiety and just accept it pretty calmly. It's just random, odd thoughts and memories causing confusion in my head.
Maybe I'm having bad withdrawals from diazepam as I am a long-term user. It's so hard to tell. I just want my brain to calm the funk down so I get on with life.
Jesus, I remember when life was easy and I could think properly.
Just got a lot on my mind I guess. And I can't switch off.
I did feel a lot better after exercising and doing some relaxation techniques though. Really got to keep that up as it certainly helps me.
Although I'm feeling anxious from time to time it's nowhere near the levels I was experiencing before I started pregabalin so I should be thankful for that at least. The medication is definitely working.
I'm just wondering how much effect the diazepam is having combined with the pregabalin. But it will be some months before I'm off the diazepam completely. Just have to wait and see on that one.
Jo, I'm on 150MG x 3 daily so 450MG total now. I reckon I can go up to 600MG if I asked my doctor. She's pretty good. Much better than my old one I'd had all my life. At least she has a better grip on mental health issues and seems to genuinely care. But I don't know if I want a dose increase to be honest as I do feel a bit unsteady on my feet at times. Banging into walls and door frames a bit. Yesterday, when playing badminton, I walked backwards straight into the metal pole that holds the net up :roflmao: Almost took it out.
Luckily and by sheer chance, no one else saw except my younger brother. Whom I destroyed and beat convincingly :shades: Just in case you're wondering ;)
I think increasing by 50MG might not do too much anyway. It may have an initial effect but I think I'd build up tolerance again and just be left smashing the hell out of the office as I stumble around due to the side effects.
Glad to hear you got through your blips and out the other side though Jo :) Does give me hope and I keep tellng myself I can and will get through it. Well I'll give it a bloody good try anyway.
Sorry to hear you're going through a bad time Petram. Withdrawal can be horrible. I'm not too fond of SSRI's side effects either and I'm not going back on them if I can help it. Hope you feel right soon whatever decision you make on pregabalin :)
Thanks for the hugs Nicola :) Have some back from me :hugs:
I hope it is all just a blip and and my head will be in a better state soon.
Thanks again guys for your words of support and encouragement.
Take care........Scratchappy
ty mate its nice when people actually reply ........keep us posted i een fairly good today , mine seems to become unbearable around pmt time!!! grrr i l see howi go btween today n tues?? and get back to u :)
def reducing the valum will cause u to feel a bit more anxious perhaps taper slower mate?? xx
Glad you're having a better day Petram :) Luckily, PMT is one thing I don't have to worry about ;)
And do keep me and others updated. Support can't be underestimated for people who suffer with anxiety and depression.
Am definitely going to reduce the valium slowly. Especially after reading about benzodiazepine withdrawal properly for the first time today. I am so scared :scared10: For a long-term user it sounds like hell. A lot of what I have been experiencing for years and also recently points towards benzo withdrawal syptoms :(
I just hadn't researched it this thoroughly before. I didn't know that even when you stop using them, you can go through a year or so of horrible WD symptoms as your body tries to adjust to life without a benzo. The body should eventually heal itself but man, I think I have a long and painful road ahead of me :( I'm really terrified.
Ah man, not in a good place right now. Head is a bit blown away by what I've read today. Need to stop thinking about this. Right, it's getting late. I need to relax, go to bed. Tomorrow is another day. Baby steps. Christ I hope I can get there in the end.
Cheers.................Scratch
P.S. - Apologies as this post is off-topic somewhat.
I know it may sound trite, but try to take things one day at a time. There really is no point in thinking that there may be a long and painful road ahead of you - it may prove self defeating and it may not be as long as you think. Remember it is a well worn road and many others have reached the end successfully, and so will you. Be gentle with yourself.
In the meantime support your withdrawal with good food, rest and relaxation and stay in good company.
We will be here to hold your cyber hand through all this - so don't forget to reach out :hugs:
Keep in touch.
Belle xx
Thank you for your support Belle. It means a lot. Reading your post has made :weep: a bit. In a good way though :)
I was talking to my parents and they just don't get it. They never will. Made some really unhelpful comments that made me worse and even more emotional. It's not their fault. I don't expect them to understand. How can they. How can anyone comprehend feelings like this unless they've experienced it themselves. It's pure mental hell. A personal torture. My jaw keeps shutting tight and I feel so tensed up it's unreal. Despite doing exercise today as well.
I know a lot if it is in my head but the physical symptoms of anxiety and withdrawal from a benzo are so real, so constant. I hate it. It's enough to drive a person to oblivion. I don't know if I'm strong enough to handle this :weep: But what option do I have? Just have to get on with it and take each day as it comes, like you said.
I'm trying to stay positive but it's so damn hard sometimes. I think I may have rushed back returning to work. Should have given the pregabalin more time to level out. I just have to believe things will get better even if I seem stuck in a personal hell.
AAAAAAaaaaaaaaHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhHHhhhHhHHHH. Just keep breaking down in tears :weep: :weep::weep::weep:
Screw this. JUST SCREW IT :curse: So frustrated with it all :frown: Feel like doing this :wall: repeatedly until I can't any more.
I'm going to attempt to make a cottage pie now for the 1st time. Those potatoes are gong to get as mashed as my brain. They won't know what's hit 'em.
Scratch :(
Hey Belle. Forgot to say "wise words" from your last post.
Although I keep telling myself in my head all the right and helpful things, sometimes reading it can hit home a lot more :) Especially if it's from someone else :)
Not feeling too bad today. But there's a lot of today left :P
Work tomorrow. Yeah. Can't wait. Should be awesome ;)
Thanks again Belle.
Scratch
Glad you're feeling a little better today Scratch. Good luck in work tomorrow... it will at least be a distraction, which will be useful in your recovery. Take it easy now :)
Belle x
I saw a psychiatrist last week who told me to go away and do some research on Pregabalin so I'm very interested to read the comments that are being posted here. I am going to see my GP next week and my decision will partly be informed by the experiences I have witnessed of others who are taking this medication.
I must confess that I am becoming increasingly frustrated and disillusioned with all medications that have been offered me in the past as none of them has ever worked. The last one I tried was Venlaflaxine which was one of the worst medications I have ever taken, I didn't get a single benefit from it over six months of taking it. I gained a lot of weight and walked around in a permanent state of drowsiness and lethargy. My mood if anything worsened because of these horrible side-effects and that is something I desperately want to avoid with Pregabalin.
I suppose I have been searching for a long time for an anti-depressant that would stimulate me as opposed to sedating me which I found with the Venlaflaxine. I don't know if such a medication exists, at least not in the UK as I was told in no uncertain terms by my psychiatrist that drugs such as Adderal and Wellbutrin are not approved over here or certainly not licensed for the treatment of depression.
I am not looking for a “high” or “buzz” from my medication but one of the worst things for me about depression is the constant feeling of fatigue and lack of motivation. It makes it very hard when you wake up after eight hours solid sleep feeling just as tired as when you went to bed the night before. It's very hard to accomplish even minor things when tired is your default mood all the time.
Sorry for waffling on. I would be grateful for any feedback and comments from fellow users, particularly those who are taking, or have taken, Pregabalin.
Thanks,
Rob.
PS I don't mean to hijack this diary, apologies in advance if my comments are a distraction in any way.
Hey RobinBrum.
Absolutely no worries in contributing to this thread - all are welcome :) And we're all probably here for the same reasons. Searching for answers, information, support etc. So you post away man.
Just wanted to ask you something really - is depression your main problem? And not anxiety? Reason I ask is that I'm sure pregabalin only has off-label use for anxiety. I don't know how effective it is for depression as it doesn't affect the brain in the same way an anti-depressant does. Which is maybe what you're looking for as you've said the ones you've tried sedate you too much.
Pregabalin certainly gave me an uplift in mood initially and a calmness of mind. Which it continues to do so. But it can make some people tired. It does a little bit for me and I struggled on my first day back at work on Tuesday slightly. On the plus side, sleeping isn't a problem.
It can be quite stimulating from my experience. It didn't knock me out. Even when I was feeling a bit spacey, it wasn't a 'tired' spaced-out feeling.
If you want to ask any questions then please feel free.
Thanks..................Scratch