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My votes in.....God knows what's going to happen....I am dreading a hung parliament and another 3 years of Brexit muddle, arguing MPs and the country in a mess while they throw insults at each other across the House of Commons.
I woke up last night with cramp in my calf. It still aches now. After that sleep stayed away :nonono:
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That's really weird Darksky, I had cramp and ongoing aches in my calf too, right-hand side. I'm inclined to think it was boots that caused it.
I'm pretty sure we won't have a hung parliament, but never say never. Just walking in to that hall to mark my X gave me wobbly legs and a twitchy stomach, but even Wilko can not prevent from voting. :yesyes:
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Almost forgot, all good at the vets. :yesyes:
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Well done Puss. MOT done for another year.:yesyes:
Last night, all I did was stretch in my sleep and my calf muscles flew into pain. On my left side, so I reckon between the pair of us we'd need a wheelchair.:winks: I just about managed to hobble round Sainsbury's tonight. The shops are getting busier the nearer we get to 25th. I'm used to waltzing round Sainsbury's like Victoria Beckham. Just us and a couple of others. Tonight there were people everywhere, standing around, dithering about.
Tomorrow i reckon I will bite the bullet and decorate the tree. It's in place just needs the baubles and lights.
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Hi Darksky,
How's your leg? My ache seems to have gone.
It's surprising how a dull ache can be so dull. :(
You should have your tree up by now looking pretty and Christmassy.
Catching up on the last couple of days...
I don't know why I sat up half the night watch the voting results when it doesn't really kick in until about 4am. But hey, we do stuff like that in the moment.
Yesterday morning was feeling a bit worse for wear because of that and sinuses were playing up.
I do get sinus lightheaded mixed up with anxiety and luckily it wore off as the day went on.
Wilko in general has been quite well behaved. He's there sulking because I have him in reins and a tight grip.
I still have those heavy, wobbly legs, but as Claire Weekes says, "your legs are perfectly capable of getting you from one place to another". When I am not conscious of it, I am fine. It's a bit like starting in a track and building up speed.
Tomorrow we have our church carol service. I'm looking forward to it. Mr C loves that sort of thing, but I'll probably mime singing and let the confident ones bellow the carols. :D
My confidence is definitely improving, which is just as well, we have a lot going on in the run up to Christmas. :scared15:
The downside to Christmas is the digging up of emotions of people we have lost and my mum has been in my thoughts quite often recently.
It made me tell Mr C how much he means to me.
It's so important to tell the people that mean so much to us as we busy ourselves with mundane stuff day in day out.
So, I want to say how I appreciate all of you that have been there for me, have been my friend, given me advice, support and love.
I'm a lucky girl and I'm sending you lots of love back. :grouphug: x
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Yeah, trees done, except the dog keeps going round it and knocking the baubles off. :doh: Bad enough in itself but mine are those 60s/70s glass ones. :ohmy:
When you go to that Carol service...sing your head off. No miming. Really immerse yourself into the spirit of it. I know you'll say..."you haven't heard me sing"..... but really...God won't mind.
Yes, Christmas and New Year was a bad time for you and Mr. C last year, so yes I imagine you will be very fragile at times this year. Memories will flood back but the two of you will come through it and make new memories....your first Christmas in your new home.
My legs fine now thank you. Last night I slept ok but I had a sleep paralysis thing early this morning. I really hate them and then I went back to sleep and dreamt I was being chased by a bull! The only weapon I had was a ( full) poo bag, which I used. :DI was glad to get up this morning:ohmy:
I actually forgot we'd had an election and only remembered when I got up to see MrD engrossed in the news on TV. There was no way I was staying up, me and my bed are in love:roflmao:
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I have vintage baubles too Darksky. Oh my, that sounds so rude. :D we lost a lot in the last 3 moves. God, I didn't realise I've moved 3 times in 5 years. No wonder I have relapses. Especially as everyone keeps telling me how stressful it is, but it doesn't bother me so much at the time.I think it takes time to feel relaxed in a new home and sleep with ease.
What on earth were you doing with a poo bag? No, don't answer that. :blush:
Ok, I'll give the singing some welly, but there's always some operatic voice behind me which to be honest I find quite irritating. Same as the person who keeps tapping your shoulder to strike up a conversation. Doesn't sound very Christian of me, but I can't help my funny ways. :wacko:
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Well I was walking the dog at the time....don't normally carry full poo bags around, not even in dreams:woof
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Hi Carnation
You go for it Girl, sing your lungs out, good exercise and will rid the adrenaline.
Know own what you mean about loved ones, my dad died January 1st, so the new year doesn’t start off happy, also have to support mum as she feels it so deeply.
You too have given a lot of support Carnation so here’s a group hug from us all :grouphug: it’s good to know we have friends who understand what we go through who help and support each other...now that’s Christian like...
enjoy your carol service xxxx
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Aww, thanks You'llNeverWalkAlone x
I have a very quiet voice, (lack of confidence), but at home I'm know for bashing out a crooner song, a ABBA number and whatever I hear on the radio. :blush:
New Years Day must feel very strange to you, but your dad wouldn't want you to be sad. :hugs:
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Now I’m the opposite, I’m loud especially when on the phone, all the supermarket can here my conversation...or so I’ve been told....I can also belt out a song, but I can be quiet too, well my kinda quiet...must just have a big gob...:roflmao:
Yeah dad wouldn’t want me to be sad but I do get sad cause I miss him so much, used to do such a lot together especially in the garden...
Have a good evening xxxx
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Just popping in to say "Hello, I love you all, and am so grateful for this safe place to share our challenges and accomplishments." We should try to do that all year long but I'm glad that this time of year brings out the loving spirit in most people.
Was just pondering the funny ways our anxiety symptoms can get set off. My husband asked me this morning while I was having my first cup of coffee how my anxiety level was so far (it's been up there for the past few weeks) and I told him it was very low. And it was! A little while later I was online shopping for an appropriate gift for a friend who also suffers from anxiety and my search brought up a bunch of books. As I was reading the pages of previews they provide, I felt my anxiety rising. Just READING about someone else's anxiety, or the subject itself, brought mine to life!
I grabbed my rock of green fluorite (which always brings me instant calm) and I did some tapping. It came down a little, but I was still in a heightened state. Then I started getting excited because we're going to a school play that my nephew is starring in tonight and I've been receiving pictures and videos of his yesterday performance, and a video of him receiving a high honor award from the other cast members. So I'm very anxious to get there and see it myself in a few hours, but I think the excitement sparked the anxiety right back up there. If I had time I'd go to the gym or run around the block to burn some off but need to get ready and hit the road.
Doesn't take much to spark and ignite our anxiety flame, does it. :( And even happy and positive excitement can apparently do it (which I think you pointed out to me a while back, Mrs. C.)
But it's a part of me and always will be so it's not the fact that I have it, it's how I choose to deal with it. And deal I will, as we all do!
Happy holidays to my fellow warriors!
Sue
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Yes I did Sue. And excitement affects me too.
Last Saturday we were off to see the Christmas light switch on, we were running late because we were Christmas shopping and had to find somewhere to leave the car.
When I got out I was so fuelled up with adrenal my legs were like rockets, wobbly rockets, which eventually wore off as I carried on walking. And when we got there, my legs wanted to carry on walking when I wanted to stand still. So the fidgeting takes over.
This is where the pills come in handy.
But I don't take pills, so I have to wait for the natural decent of the adrenalin.
I also get triggered by reading, even writing on this thread about the symptoms and my day. There, just then, a wave of whatever through my leg like a quivering muscle.
But I now know what it is. Unlike when I first experienced these strange feelings.
I hardly react now. Yes, it's uncomfortable, annoying and weird, but I know what it is.
It's impossible to avoid triggers, even if we do nothing because the mind will bring up memories.
We have to get used to the reaction, note it and not think anything in to it. Chuck it over our shoulder like a pinch of salt. Say, "yep, been here before".
That's in theory, practice is more challenging.
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Did you enjoy your Carol singing Mrs.C?
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Hi Darksky :)
Well....
I managed to go. Couldn't find anywhere to park and had to abandon the car on the edge of the road which made us late, so all the seats were taken.
There was a fumble with chairs being brought out of the stockroom and a lady placed two chairs apart from each other at the very back and I was a gasp. :scared15:
Mr C asked if someone would do a shuffle so that we were sitting together and they thankfully obliged.
It was so dark as they handed me a programme of the service and a candle, one of those battery operated ones, but mine seemed to have flicker spasms.
I couldn't see anything on my programme and had no view of what was going on, but I sat there like a good little girl. Sang along to the carols I knew and fidgeted most of the time. I was the first one out with a walk back to the car in the dark.
The best part was getting fish and chips on the way home. :)
Got another one next Sunday in the big church.
It's my compromise with Mr C. So I'll go more prepared.
So my answer is no, not really, but Wilko enjoyed it. :D
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Sorry I haven’t been on here for a bit. Just wanted to wish you all a very happy Christmas xxxxx
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Merry Christmas to you too Mrs M, hope all is well. x
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Same to you Mrs. M...I hope you have a peaceful one. Xxx
That doesn't sound very peaceful and Christmassy Mrs.C. Maybe there will be more room in the bigger church, even if you have to get there early to get a proper seat....and for me, it would have to be on the end:D Still you went and joined in with the singing, which is, in itself distracting. Next Sunday will be better.
just sat here having lunch, watching 3 bluetits on a coconut half. I find it so relaxing, I could sit here all afternoon but I can't :(
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No, it wasn't Darksky and I think I did very well staying put.
A bit shaky arriving and leaving, but the old woman next to me on a walking frame gave me confidence.
If I sight someone with physical difficulties, it always seems to give me extra confidence and I normally end up helping them.
I've been watching the bluetits as well. They are such pretty birds. All the birds are going through seed like there's no tomorrow, a bit like Mr C with his frosties.
Well, I'm doing ok lately, not brilliant, but I'm getting out and about. Went to 3 charity shops with Mr C yesterday, (it's his fix) and then another few shops and didn't have one hot flush, which was surprising because they all had those horrid extractor fans blowing on fall blast.
The thing is I don't enjoy any of it because of the anxiety, it's just going through the motions and I see everything I do as a test or exercise.
Even walking. Last night we posted our neighbours Christmas cards and each door I went to I was hoping they wouldn't come to the door. :scared15:
And why does everyone keep asking if I'm ready for Christmas? It feels like a countdown to a catastrophe.
Just put a few Christmasy bits up, buy a turkey with your weekly shop, stock up on bread and milk, write a few cards, buy a few presents and record your favourite films. Job done! :yesyes:
Let's face it, it's not like years ago, shops are open on Boxing Day waiting to take more money from you with what I call the 'fake sales'.
I actually saw a shop yesterday preparing the window for the sales which really wants to make me grind my teeth.
Anyway, I did one of favourite things last night. I had a foot-soak.
If you've never had one, I highly recommend it. :)
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Oh I know.... my hairdresser said the other day...you ready for Christmas? Immediately i felt down. Stop talking about Christmas, I hate it! Yet I never used to :weep:
im ready anyway, just got to get the spouts:D It will just be me and Mr.D again and the dogs. And a jigsaw, got one ready to do. We are like an old couple but we do love doing them. Oh and a nice fire going in the burner. That will do us.
have you got one of those posh bubbly foot spas? Or are we talking washing up bowl with a towel under it?:roflmao:
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I'm an old fashioned girl Darksy so it's a bowl, but not the one we do our washing-up in. :scared15:
Tried the foot spa thingy, but prefer to just sit and soak with a glass of something in one hand and the tv remote in the other. :D
I like a jigsaw myself, but just for Christmas. :noangel:
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You're allowed the TV remote!!! You must be the only woman in the country to have it. Mr.D had ours surgically attached to his hand years ago. :roflmao:
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Yes Darksky :D I get it on the understanding he can watch football. :footy:
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Oh, I loved that line: "Countdown to catastrophe"! It made me laugh out loud and I will be using that today if anyone asks me if I'm ready for Christmas! :roflmao:
All the schools and a lot of businesses are closed today due to a horrendous ice storm. It's still going on, but luckily I didn't have to work at the shelter today, although I may go in to help out later. I have to be at a dental appointment anyway and it's right down the street. The dentist insists I start wearing a night guard because she insists I grind my teeth while sleeping. I may or may not do it every night, but I will go pick up the guard today to appease my dentist. :winks:
I had to fire my primary care physician yesterday since she is not being cooperative with me getting a preventative rabies vaccine. The place I found that will give me one says I have to be a patient of theirs first (understandable) and I can't have two primary care physicians, so I had to dismiss the original doctor. I was always on the fence about whether I liked her or not anyway - sometimes I left there liking her, but most times I left there thinking I'd like another doctor. I had a doctor for over 40 years that took care of me, my kids, my husband, etc. and I loved him to death. I sobbed and cried like a baby during our last visit when he retired and no one will ever replace him in my book. But.... life goes on!
I had a strange dream last night that I'm trying to shake off but it keeps popping back up in my memory. In it I was diagnosed with a disease that was terminal, and the doctor kept saying that by the time it can be noticed and diagnosed, it's too late - there's nothing we can do. And in my dream I kept stressing that I was supposed to live til age 88 and this can't be happening - it's too early for me to die!"
Sure hope it was just a dream and not a premonition. :ohmy:
Stay well, ladies. I'm trying to stay serene by sitting on the couch staring at my window birdfeeder - so many lovely birds are visiting today, bluejays and cardinals..... just beautiful. I think the cardinals are telling me to forget about my dream and realize it was JUST a dream. That's my story anyway.
Sue
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Just a dream Sue:hugs: aren't we supposed to reverse our dreams? Which means you are ridiculously healthy and will pass 88 at a jog.
I had one the other night about being chased by a bull and beating it off with a full dog poo bag. That's how daft they are.
Anyway...are you ready for Christmas:tongue::tongue::tongue:
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It must be dream time for all of us.
I dreamed I fainted which actually woke me up and I've been on tender hooks all day! :wacko:
I was told that if you tell someone of your dream, it won't happen, so therefore you going to be ok Sue. :hugs:
As for Darksky's poo bag dream, well that can't possibly come true.
I'm good at remembering my dreams and they seem to be a culmination of something you've watched on tv, something you did that day, something you've heard and something you've been thinking about.
But they certainly feel lifelike and frightening. :scared15:
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Thanks, Ladies..... those posts made me laugh, and I guess I will be sharing all my negative dreams with you to cancel them out. I wouldn't be so sure about Darsky's dream not being possible..... have you seen how heavy the poo from a 160 pound dog walk can get???? I have, and I think getting smashed in the face with it would ward off any offender, especially as they try to clean it off their face. Hey, maybe we should all carry around animal poo for protection???? :roflmao: If people didn't already think we were strange, that would certainly confirm it with them.
Dreaming of fainting: can't say I've had that one but I know it would shake me up a bit if I did. Just like dreaming of having an anxiety attack can leave you waiting for it all day. These brains are such complicated machines!
YES, I AM FRIGGIN' "READY" FOR CHRISTMAS! LOL Well, maybe not... I'm done shopping but have not done any wrapping. But with the convenience of gift bags and tissue paper, that's not half the chore it used to be.
Sue
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Hey love reading about these dreams and thinking of carrying a poo bag around to ward off scary people!! I don’t have a dog- but sadly the silly people with dogs around here don’t clear up their mess- so there are lots of kind donations around :roflmao:
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I suppose because I worked in the Leisure Industry which involved cooking up to 100 meals a day and catering for functions of 200 +, Christmas seems miniscule to me with preparations. It's also probably the reason I refuse to flap.
If we ain't got it, it's no hardship.
The important thing is the real spirit of Christmas which is nothing to do with presents, crackers or cranberry sauce. I can hear someone shouting, "Oh God, I forgot about the cranberry sauce". :winks:
I had one of those dreams, bordering on nightmares again. :scared15:
Mr C and myself were waiting in a coach car park after being away for the weekend and my mum and dad came to meet us. My dad went missing, my mum had a nasty fall and then found out the coach was going to Glasgow instead of Heathrow. I went off searching for my dad and ended up in a wood where for some reason I hid my suitcase. At the other side was a Norwegian Christmas Market with stalls run by creepy elves. One of the stalls was vividly that yucky candyfloss stuff on a stick. And the elves had the biggest ears I have ever seen.
I approached a policeman who couldn't speak English to ask about my dad. He was like the policeman from 'Allo, Allo'. The elves were all laughing at me.
Suddenly it got very dark so I starting running back through the woods and back to the coaching bay like Usain Bolt.
When I arrived everyone had gone! :scared15:
It felt like about 8 hours and I woke up very exhausted. :wacko: I actually feel more tired than when I went to bed. :sleep:
The other thing is my tongue. I've obviously been biting into it during the night, because it is so sore this morning.
Why does the 'Woods' appear so much in dreams? :shrug:
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That's quite an unsettling dream MrsC :ohmy:
When I dream of people I've lost, it upsets me all day.
I think as a whole we are people who have strong imaginations. We slip so easily into catastrophic and magical thinking too. I wonder if people who are more arty, imaginative etc suffer more from anxiety than down to earth, 'sensible' types.
i didn't dream last night. I don't think I had enough sleep to do it. I reckon I woke 6 or 7 times.
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Crikey Darksky, that's alot of times to wake up.
My waking up seems to have culled down to two at the moment. I go to bed late as well, so probably missing out on quality sleep time. I can't go to bed early, I just lie there listening to Mr C snoring. :lac:
Creative and imaginative people will be more prone to anxiety, like deep thinkers in my opinion. I also wondered if anxiety sufferers are people that go to bed late or have disturbed sleep.
Yes, my dream upset me, still thinking about it. :weep:
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Oh my goodness, Mrs. C, please allow me to apologize in advance, but I am literally laughing out loud about your dream. I'm so sorry that it was so frightening and real and traumatic, and I can truly imagine how it would be, but when you read back what you wrote, does it at least give you a little bit of a chuckle? I truly sympathize with how disturbing and disrupting our dreams can be, but I have to thank you for sharing that one and making me laugh. Hope you don't mind that I'm laughing.
I had a bunch of strange ones again last night/early this morning, but they weren't as much frightening as they were annoying. I was agitated and aggravated and annoyed (that's all I can remember) and now that I'm awake I am still in that state. Which leads me to realize that perhaps my mood of the day is strongly predicated by the amount and quality of sleep I get the night before? I've been in a really good mood lately, but for the past 2 days I've been short-tempered and annoyed and generally unhappy, and I realize for the past 3 nights I have not slept well or enough. That must be more than coincidence.
Back to dreams, I can't recall many (or any) of my dreams that involved being in the woods, but if you have a lot of those, perhaps research that? I don't know if I believe all the translations of dreams that I read about online but some of the theories are very interesting.
I'm off to go scoop up a bagful of dog poop to carry with me today in case I run into any scary elves out there. :)
Sue
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I don't mind you laughing at all Sue because to someone else it sounds absolutely ridiculous. :D
I've sort of diagnosed the dream myself.
I was watching something on tv with Elves.
Mr C and I were talking about the lack of Police these days. We were also talking about France, Norwegian Markets and travel.
I've been thinking about my late mum and dad a lot.
The suitcase represents my thoughts about moving again, yes, you heard that right.
But the woods? Could also be about another conversation about wanting to live near trees.
So, my cure is......
Don't talk to Mr C, only watch stuff on the TV that won't upset my sleep and move to a place in a forest. :yesyes:
My eyes have been watery, red and stingy all day, but so has Mr Cs. Must be something in the air. :scared15:
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Hi everyone....
I had a nap this afternoon and dreamt I was in some sort of fun house, but it wasn’t fun it was scary and very confusing, it had loads of doors and you had to find your way out but the rooms kept moving round, I went in one room and it was some sort of toilet but no toilet I’ve ever seen, it was a shiny hill that you sat on and just let the wee run down...strange...when I came out all the rooms moved round again so didn’t know where I was... then I woke up bursting for a wee, God only knows where that dream came from as I haven’t watched or talked about anything like that...weird isn’t it was our brains conjure up...
Hope everyone is well xx
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Hi YNWA,
Strange, I've had that dream in the past. Not nice at all.
I had a friend who was a lecturer of dreams and she told me that dream time is basically not proper sleep. Its a state during a cycle of sleep. I'd call it 'A right state'! :scared15:
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Yay, no bad dreams last night.
I really think it helps to talk about these dreams clearing the subconscious.
I'm bragging now but I got 8 hours sleep with only waking up once. :yahoo: I'm fully charged and ready to face the day. The weather is its usual, dull and damp self. So I tend to use these days for jobs around the house and watching a good film.
Yesterday I was so on edge, my whole body felt like it was shaking inside and I had that wide-eyed look that's prepared for any danger. I took that look out to town in the afternoon and although no one seems to make any comments, it doesn't improve much.
I've just gotta put one foot in front of the other and get on with it. Sometimes after I return I think, "did I really go out feeling this shit?" And amazed I've cooked a meal when I have fear running through my body.
That's the thing about anxiety, no matter how you feel, you can still do almost anything you want and it's the not wanting that can cause the anxiety to rise. Either don't do it or look for the positive within. No matter who or what, YOU come first! x
Sue, I forgot to mention that I too had a few irritable days. Although Mrs Grumpy does rear her head from time to time. But poor Mr C takes the brunt of it. He says he's used to me by now, but I feel terrible feeling that way, but it's like I'm screaming inside and need to go and do something energising to knock me out to sleep and wake up like a doting housewife and a calm and serene person. Hunger can do this to me, so can lack of good sleep.
I'm like a gremlin if I haven't got either quota. :scared15:
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No more eating after midnight or water for you then!
what I do to prove I can actually do stuff is write a list. When I wake knowing it's going to be one of those days, I write a list of everything I have to do before bed. Jobs in the house, meals, dog walking, shopping. Then I cross them off as I do them. Then I look at it in bed and think, yes, I may have been feeling crap but I did every damn thing I had to do. So who's stronger me or anxiety and the answer just has to be me.
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I'm not sure why but this comment by Mrs. C really struck me hard and I can't get it out of my head:
"Yesterday I was so on edge, my whole body felt like it was shaking inside and I had that wide-eyed look that's prepared for any danger."
What a confusing, life-altering, terrible affliction this anxiety monster is! Yes, some would say "Be grateful it's only anxiety - you could have things that are so much worse." and of course they are right. But when I read that statement, it's like, WTF!?!?! We've got nothing particularly stressful going on that day, there is no trauma that just happened, yet there are times (more often than not) that we feel as you described and are apprehensive and fearful of the smallest chores or tasks or outings. And who could possibly understand this affliction other than those who actually experience it? No wonder it's even difficult for some of our doctors to comprehend.
Sorry, I'm just angry at anxiety today. Yes, I am blessed that it's not something more life-threatening, but good grief, living with this is certainly no picnic, either!
Sue
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Hi, everyone,
Sue you are so spot on, but I think it can be life threatening, not that you die from it, but people have become so desperate with it they have tried to take their life and some succeed, The only people who truly understand are those who suffer with it day in day out. I have been on my first walk out today on my own since my accident but oh boy I feel like I’ve climbed Everest in lead boots...my head was spaced out and my legs were like a jellyfish, but I did it, to someone who doesn’t understand what that took must think I’m a softy baby. So yes Sue some people have serious illnesses but like you say, living with this is definitely no walk in the park...xxx