Hello everyone,
I’m doing as I promised and keeping a diary of my CBT on here, in the hope it might help others!
Briefly my story is I’m having treatment for a phobia of being ill while I’m out…more specifically being in a place…like a shop or café…anywhere indoors basically. My main fear is fainting or feeling faint,
It seemed to start when I was taken ill in a garden centre (because I also suffer with M.E) and that seemed to trigger the thought that “this could happen again”.
So there you go, that’s where I’m at right now. Yesterday I had my second CBT appointment and so far I’m finding it really helpful. I’ve talked to so many people in the past about my problems, but they’ve never made me think about things the way the CBT seems to be doing.
I’m finding that my psychologist is asking me questions that make me link my thoughts and realise how they come about. I’m personally finding a lot of my current thoughts and fears seem to link all the way back to my childhood.
What I’ve realised is your thoughts seem to be like a domino effect; you push one over and there’s a whole string that follows right back. Of course I’ve always realised that what your thoughts do…its how the brain works, but what I’ve discovered is i’ve actually started linking thoughts I never knew were connected in the first place. I’m also discovering thoughts that I didn’t realise were associated with my problem. It’s like a leap frog of thoughts (if that makes sense?)!
I can elaborate on this and use examples if anyone would like me to, but I don’t want to ramble on too much and bore you all!
I wouldn’t say that CBT is all about looking back to the past…it’s about moving forward. But obviously to do this, you have to realise what started these thoughts in the first place…and with me that goes way back.
At the moment it’s just a lot of talking and letting me work out for myself how some of my earliest thoughts have a role in the problems I have today.
My psychologist is nice, and actually makes me laugh about my thoughts which is important because it helps to take the edge off them.
I will update this when I feel it might help others…and certainly when I move on to actually tackling my fear (that’s going to be hard I know :( ) and any techniques.
Thanks for reading everyone, hope this helps some.:D
xxxx
"A Journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step"