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First week of Citalopram
Morning folks!
Just joined this forum this morning (Monday) after reading some of the posts and trying to find some solace in other's experiences of taking this med. I'm now on day 8 of taking Cit and this morning seems an improvement but the past week has been rough.
Last Monday when I went to the doc and he prescribed the meds I felt pretty much ok, my depression and anxiety were not that evident and I put this down to having the doctors appointment, it raised my spirits. Tuesday was not the best, felt incredibly anxious all day and eventually took a beta blocker to help calm myself in the evening. I'd been prescribed the beta blockers the previous week and got really desperate when they didn't have much effect on the mental anguish I was going through, but they helped to reduce the effects of the anxiety a little in the short term that night.
Wednesday was a little better, still had that awful anxiety buzz, my body felt tense but it was milder than the day before so I felt hopeful. The worst part of this is that the anxiety makes me distracted so I find it difficult to find ways to relax and it makes everything so urgent when my mind starts racing and I feel really desperate to find the off switch so I can stop feeling this way.
Thursday, as some of you will know, was a really hot, humid day which made me feel rough as hell. I was supposed to be doing some stuff for the local community radio station I'm currently volunteering for, but the guy I was working on that with didn't show and I was sat in the baking sun for half an hour which didn't help me at all. I ended up spending the rest of the day flaked out trying to cool down and stay hydrated after sweating like a race horse all morning.
Friday was the worst of the week, I had a really bad panic attack on the morning which jangled my nerves since I've not had anything that intense before. I got an appointment to see the doc within the hour and he told me that anxiety is often increased in the initial stages of taking Cit, which is something I'd already read here on this forum. I guess I just felt desperate to talk to someone about it and decided to take it as just one of the effects of my body getting used to the meds. I went over to a friends house that afternoon to watch a movie and chill out. At least it got a bit cooler by the time evening rolled around.
Saturday was an insight. The previous couple of days had drained me and I spent half the day laid in bed trying to relax and the rest just watching DVD's to try and numb my racing thoughts. I told my friend on skype that I now had some idea what people felt like when they were going through drug detox like you see in the movies. My anxiety and depression gave me a hard time but I eventually managed to relax and eventually went for a walk to get some air later in the evening even though it hadn't cooled down that much.
Sunday, a bad morning, my anxiety seemed to touch off with every thought and it took a great amount of effort to get myself out of the house and over to the Mind center where they hold an open drop in social thing. I've been going there just to get out of the house and meet a few people, my social circle is pretty limited, something that doesn't help much. I walked over to Mind, sat around in their open center for a couple of hours and had a chat with a few people I knew and some I didn't. The weather became a bit rainy as I headed home and I was thankful it was cooling down and not blazing sunshine (not a huge fan :D ). On the way home I took my friend's advice and got some camomile tea. He said it helps relax you and it's caffeine free so that will help the anxiety, and I think it did!
The worst part about Sunday was that my anxiety seems to descend on me as soon as I wake up. Once I swim into consciousness, my mind starts racing and that tension in my body stops me from simply rolling over and grabbing some more sleep as I usually do. That morning I'd gone to sleep about 1.30ish and woken up about 4.15 then laid their trying my best to get a bit more sleep without a great deal of luck. This left me feeling washed out and tired all day. I couldn't even snooze in the afternoon due to me being so uptight and tense from that low level of anxiety buzzing through me.
Now it's Monday, the weather is cooler, thank god, I managed to get a reasonable sleep, I think I even managed to roll over and go back to sleep after waking at stupid o'clock and I'm feeling a bit more up after having a short time feeling down and anxious after I woke up. It wasn't particularly strong compared to previous mornings and it faded after I took my Cit and a beta blocker before breakfast. Hopefully this is the first of my better days and I'll see a reduction in the panicky feelings. Maybe the camomile tea is better than I thought :D.
I'll post more as it goes on.
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Re: First week of Citalopram
Hi raindog.
You are describing pretty much what a lot of us cit takers go through,The first week or so can be pretty horrendous for some.It takes you down to hell then you slowley surface. Always remember to eat something when taking your citalopram as you an get the sicky feelings too and that seems to help. you might lose weight . you might put it on. but those can be ignored as you should just concentrate on getting better- one day at a time. Read Psyhco Poets citalopram guide to survival. It has EVERYTHING you need to know about it ( cit). Welcome to NMP .keep posting and you will find a lot of support on here as I have.
NB. Try cutting your caffeine intake right down, do it gradually or you will get withdrawal from that!!In doing this it helps reduce anxiety.
Take care keep strong-and take it one day at a time.:)
Jean
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Re: First week of Citalopram
Thanks Jean,
I learned the lesson about taking my meds on an empty stomach, did that during last week and felt queasy when trying to eat a little while later, I have a bowl of porridge on a morning and take my meds just before I eat that now.
Yesterday (Monday) went ok, had a good afternoon out in the park recording stuff with the other guy volunteering. We wandered back over to his house and sat in the back garden enjoying the sun and the cool breeze. He and his girlfriend shared a few spliffs with me and I felt very relaxed and we all had a good chat about the world in general. I wasn't sure if I should have the joints but figured it was the first I'd had in about 18 months and hoped it wouldn't have too much of an adverse effect with my meds.
I feel a little down this morning, the depression has risen a little, but the anxiety isn't that strong so I can deal with it today. I just have this feeling of being lost in the world and not having any direction, which I think a lot of us feel these days, which is why there are so many people with depression. I don't have any family and only a few friends so not much of a support mechanism to help me get through all this and nobody to really fall back on when it all comes crumbling down around me so I'm just trying to get through each day. Not easy but I think I can make it somehow, it's just finding a reason to keep pushing on, that's what's taking time, finding motivation and a direction to head in.
I lost my job of 3 years end of last year and now I have to pull myself together to go through the process of finding another one but my anxiety has dragged me down and I've been just wrapped in it each day. Emails would come in about jobs and I'd feel that little panic rise up inside, everything felt like it would be so difficult to do due to my concentration being all over the place.
I'm into my 40's now and I feel that I've wasted a lot of time and potential and I've spent most of my life wandering from job to job, possibly due to problems related to my depression. Some days I wish I could be one of those happy drones that fits in, I've never felt like I fit in, or very few times at least. Does anyone else get that feeling?
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Re: First week of Citalopram
HI RAINDOG.
Every day I wish that I could just go to work and act normal like everyone else seems to. Keep posting on here to get support. Its helped me a hell of a lot . Be careful with the smoking tho as it could or will increase your anxiety levels. I went into my local charity shop this morning, they always ask how I am as I used to work there. By the time the coversation had finished I found I was going to be working on an afternoon on the till!!. So, what I intend doing is teling my doctor I need a few moe weeks so I can start interacting with the public again. Its never too late to start anything. You are wondering in and out of jobs. What I think is you should get your anxiety under control first, when you feel a bit mor comfortable with that look at volunteering , it gets you out and you are mixing with people and you retain your dignity.The most important part of this voyage is one step at a time . Its very early days for you , you might feel different every day, you will see postings on here about little habits we have started. whats this pain or this ache,why is this happening and its all generally down to te side effects of cit and or the anxiety.So keep coming on here and you will get the answers!!
Take care:noangel: Jean
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Re: First week of Citalopram
I'm already volunteering at a local community radio station, I've been through and analysed my situation well before I got the anti d's and realised I needed to get out more, get more exercise, eat better (not easy when on benefits). I've started cutting down on the cigs, don't really drink much anyway so that's an easy one to avoid. Generally I've been heading in the right direction, which several people have told me, but when the anxiety hit it all felt like it was useless because I still felt crappy.
I'm feeling more positive after a crappy week, I just want to keep heading in this direction, even if it's just a bit each day for now, at least I'm not feeling so desperate and so wrapped up in my own need to break out of the feelings, which at least means I can concentrate on things a bit better and can start working on climbing out of this pit.
I've dealt with depression for over 12 years and I get a bout every so often so I'm able to handle that, but that anxiety caught me on the hop this time. Now I can sit down, relax a bit more and concentrate I might try a bit of writing to get things out of my head and give me some sort of focus over the next few weeks. I've heard of people heading down completely new roads in their life even when they thought they were too old so maybe I'll find I've got a bit of talent for the literary thing and get some enjoyment out of it.
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Re: First week of Citalopram
Today is day 10 and I've had a couple of days of feeling much less anxious, it's still bubbling gently away in the back of my mind but I can handle the mild sense of nervous anticipation. I've had a few good nights sleep and last night was the best, I settled down to sleep not long after midnight last night and it took me a while to get comfortable but I drifted off before 1am I think and didn't know anything until 6am this morning when I started to wake up.
The best bit about not having that wave of anxiety wash over me when I wake up is being able to lay back and doze for a while, not feel like I have to be doing something right now to satisfy the nervous little demon running around inside.
I actually started doing a bit of writing last night, just a short story that bubbled up in my head while I was out for an early evening walk, so it's a good sign that my concentration is returning to a more stable level and I can sit down and do things without too much effort again.
So in all I feel like I've taken the first step to getting back to some sense of normality, it's easier this week and I hope this continues and I hope that those going through what I went through the past couple of weeks, the desperate feelings of being trapped and needing some help and reassurance, can tough it out and reach a point where you can see past those feelings.
Keep going folks, take heart.
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Re: First week of Citalopram
Thursday and day 11. Another fairly level day out of the way yesterday. I'm feeling a little pressured as I've was asked by the people at the community radio station where I'm doing some volunteer work to help with the content for their bank holiday Beatles show and that has to be ready for Monday.
It's not a big deal since it only has to be roughly 15 minutes of information about the 'extra' members of the band and I can just gather most of that from the web along with playing a few related songs. Last week I was ready to tell them I was in no fit state to take part in this but thought I would wait to see how I felt this week and since I'm nowhere near as anxious as I was I think I can make it.
I think I gave a couple of other members on the site a bit of encouragement yesterday so hope things work out for them. The one downside to this morning is that I thought my IBS type symptoms were easing, but they came back again this morning. This is probably a result of the little bit of pressure I'm feeling from yesterday. I've had these symptoms for the past month or two since my anxiety started to build so I'm fairly sure it's related to that, so hopefully as my anxiety reduces so will these unpleasant symptoms. They have faded a bit for a couple of days over the past week or so only to return so I'm hoping that they'll eventually go once the meds start getting to work properly on my underlying anxiety.
For a while I was worried that my little bit of morning exercise was causing the symptoms. I became a complete shut in over winter and put on a fair bit of weight so bought one of those abdominal rollers to help me trim the tum. I've been doing a few sets of crunches using that each morning before I get ready for the day and it's helping to trim me down again so I can fit in my old clothes.
It did make me wonder if perhaps I'd damaged myself while doing those exercises when the IBS symptoms started, but I've had no real pain, nothing that would suggest I've twisted something or caused some injury inside, so I reckon it can only be the anxiety and Mr Chatterbox is making me think my exercise is to blame to pass the buck and make me feel bad about trying to get back into shape again. I would imagine there are others out there who have had similar experiences.
Still feeling a bit nervous about the getting back to work deal, but it's not a panicky thing like previous weeks and talking to the folks on the site makes me feel a bit less alone when I get home, so thanks to those who've passed the time with me and hope everyone starts feeling well soon :)
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Re: First week of Citalopram
Hi Raindog, this too is my first week of taking 'Cit', my third day actualy. I feel like crap on a stick today, so low I can barely focus. I feel like a lead weight is pulling me down and I cant get up, not sure if this is normal or not. I have things I need to get done today but can't motivate myself to do them. I am 52 and allthough had problems years ago when I was younger, I thought those days were behind me but they've raised their ugly head gain. Mine is work related through working too many long hours and spending most nights away from home so it gives you time to ponder, which isn't a good thing.. I'll keep an eye on your posts to see how things improve for you. Hopefully things will for me too.
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Re: First week of Citalopram
Start a thread yourself, it can help get your thoughts out a bit and can act like a form of self counselling, it's helping me to post my ramblings :D
I think a few of us here have gone through that loss of motivation, I've felt like I've lost all my direction in life over the past month, so I felt pretty lost all round really, like I was just going through the motions, looking for something to keep me going. My job history hasn't been great, moving from job to job, possibly because of underlying problems with my moods and attention drifting here and there.
I haven't had a bout of depression for 3 years while I was kept busy working but since I lost my job at the end of last year it's crept up on me again. It can hit you when you least expect it, anything can be a trigger. Have you tried any counselling yet? I think we all reach a point where we've struggled on alone long enough and it's time to face the problems we're having and try to deal with them once and for all.
This first week you're going through probably isn't going to be easy, but hold on and keep going. Like I said in your introductory post, you can use the forums here to vent, get encouragement and learn about what you're experiencing, and read PsychoPoet's Citralopam Survival Guide that is stickied at the top of this part of the forum, well worth a read and has helped me and quite a few others get their heads around some of what you may go through in the next week or so.
I'm sure you'll level out, it's just a matter of getting through the first week or so, it's different for everyone, but stay in contact and let us know what's going on when you can.
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Re: First week of Citalopram
Spent the first couple of hours of this evening at the radio station helping the team do the show comprised of Beatle's cover tracks, followed by a couple of hours sat with some of the guys at a local pub, though no beer for me on these meds.
Just thought I'd share this rather cracking vid with those of you looking for something entertaining, it's a mash up of the Beatles 'Get Back', LCD Soundsystem and The Kinks. Well worth a watch and one of the best Beatles remixes I've heard yet. Enjoy.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MPtWh5XjiH0
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Re: First week of Citalopram
Day 12, Friday. Enjoying a nice bowl of milky porridge with a bit of honey for a little taste, it's a sunny morning and things seem ok. I have a very low level of anxiety but it's manageable, more just a slight bit of apprehension mixed with anticipation, not that horrible all consuming horror show that was wrecking me last week.
It was last Friday when I had the bad panic attack that completely freaked me out for about an hour afterwards. I'd had the low level anxiety running through me for a few weeks before that and I'd had a very minor panic attack, more of an elevation of the anxiety, just the week before. That took me to the doctors and onto some medication to help sort it. I knew the Citalopram would possibly increase my anxiety but when I was hit by that panic attack it scared the hell out of me.
I'm now hoping I can leave last week behind like a bad dream, never to have to go through that again, at least not if I can help it anyway. Onwards and upwards is what I hope for now :)
As Springsteen said, these are better days, so better days to everyone out there.
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Re: First week of Citalopram
Saturday, day 13. My anxiety and depression were a little in evidence this morning when I woke up, nothing too strong but I could feel them creeping around the edges and I was able to tell them to push off, though they're still lurking in the corner somewhere.
This is probably cos I didn't follow the sleeping pattern I have started to follow, settling down to sleep around midnight for a few good hours sleep. I ended up staying up way past midnight since it's the weekend. I started watching a film flaked out in bed and felt a bit tired but then got past being tired and ended up finally getting to sleep about 3am. I think part of me wanted to see if I would be awake around 6 or if I could sleep past that. One of the little pleasures I've enjoyed this week is being able to roll over and go back to sleep for an hour or so when I woke quite early in the morning.
I woke up around 7am or thereabouts then, without really thinking about it, must have drifted off for another hour or so as I then woke up sometime around 8 - 8.30, which was a pleasant surprise. But the anxiety did make itself known when I was rousing from sleep and chances are it's down to me not getting to sleep early enough.
It may also be because it's the weekend and for the past couple of weeks, Saturday and Sunday haven't been the most pleasant of days for me. Last weekend I was mostly sat around trying to keep cool and feeling really washed out, the weekend before I was just desperate for help and reassurance, as you are when experiencing anxiety.
Not much I need to do today so I can try and relax a bit. I have some info to put together for the bank holiday beatles show I'll be participating in on Monday, but I can put that together over the next day or two. I have to go over to another of the volunteer's houses tomorrow so we can edit some interviews we did in the park on Monday, but that's really it for my weekend. It sounds action packed doesn't it :D
One of the guys that works at the community radio station is turning out to be a bit of a dick, his attitude is if he doesn't agree with what you say or what music you like, etc, then you're wrong and he just starts calling it crap like a spoilt 5 year old. Myself and Stu, who was with me in the studio yesterday covering for the regular DJ, had to put up with him acting a bit weird and somewhat childish and that's not helped my mood. Some people make you brood about their inconsiderate actions.
Generally feeling fine, so will keep on keeping on, which is all you can do in the end. Better days for everyone out there.
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Re: First week of Citalopram
:) Smiles for you sugar. Hope your tucked up to get your 40 winks! ;) x
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Re: First week of Citalopram
Hi Lou,
Actually I was, I flaked out in bed to watch some CSI on TV and around 11.30 thought I'd settle down to sleep and was out like a light til about 7am this morning, so a good nights sleep.
I did feel the anxiety nudging it's way in when I was waking up, that wave of tension starting to wash through me but I knew the sign and was able to tell it to push off again, a vast improvement over the past few weekends where it's got it's hooks deep into me and kept them there right through the day. I still feel it bubble under when I start thinking about applying for jobs and my depression wanders through telling me that I'm not getting any responses to the applications I've made because they think my CV isn't good enough, blah blah blah.
Still, shouldn't complain really consider that it's Sunday and only day 14, some of you folks go much longer before you feel much improvement so hats off to you for lasting with your anxiety for that long, I'm just relieved that I felt the improvement after the first week.
I actually spent most of yesterday sat around the house working on stuff for the Beatles show on Monday and chatting to a couple of people like Lou and SaltyDawg, just passing the time and giving Salty a bit of reassurance since he's having a rough first week on the Citralopram, poor guy. Give him a little help with a kind comment if you drop by his diary post he put up this morning, he needs it this week.
I put my hat on yesterday and enjoyed a bit of a walk in the light rain that was coming down, it was quite refreshing in a way after the heat of last weekend. Sometimes it's the little things that make you feel happy, it's such a shame the world is so obsessed with money and things that really don't matter so much in the long run. The fast pace of life and all the paperwork we feel we need just makes me want to go back to simpler times without all the stuff we think is important these days.
Anybody else get that?
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Re: First week of Citalopram
Yes, early days hun and look how far you have come in 2 weeks, think where you could be in another 2 - sorry it's only short, parents arrive from Canada today and was mums bday this week so frantically making stuff for a little party before we go to the airport! x
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Re: First week of Citalopram
I'm feeling a bit tempted to take a propanolol today to take off the slight edge of tension. I've been taking one each morning all this week and decided not to yesterday so I didn't feel dependent on them and I would know if the Cit was working well enough, but I think I may take one just for today and see how it goes, my shoulders are aching from the tension that I've had over the past few weeks and I've got that buzz of anxiety, nothing major but I really just want to relax today.
Hope everything goes fine picking the parents up from the airport, you told me about the hassles you'd be having with that today, so hopefully it will all go smoothly for you.
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Re: First week of Citalopram
Hi this is my first time on here and I have just taken my first Citalopram 20mg, I have a phobia about vomiting so I am bricking it as I have read that so many people get sick taking it, I'll probably worry myself into it anyway, I'm loathed to take anything at all but sometimes you just have to go with it. It all sounds pretty horrendous and from what I have read I can quite understand now why the Doctor signed me off work for 2 weeks, have to say I am not looking forward to the coming week.
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Re: First week of Citalopram
Hi Sadie,
I wouldn't worry about the vomiting too much, you may have a few tummy problems but I've not had anything like that, just a bit too much acid from the anxiety really, and you can ease that with some milk or Rennie.
Welcome to NMP anyway, you might try starting your own daily diary thread like mine. It helps to get things out, like how you feel and the symptoms you're having and others can offere advice and encouragement to help you get through it. Plus it's good to read back as you progress and see how you have progressed since those first weeks, others may find it useful, as you've hopefully found mine a bit of use.
And don't be afraid to have a good old moan about things, venting helps you feel a bit better and feeling like you aren't the only one going through this can give you the strength you need to get through. The first few weeks may not be easy, everybody is different, some barely see any side effects while others have them for a while before the Cit starts really getting to work and calming things down. Take heart and have a read of PsychoPoet's Citalopram Survival Guide, it helps lots of people realise that they can make it through when the going gets tough.
There are plenty of us here to help you out and anyone else who is feeling worried about taking this medication, so keep posting and you'll get to know some of us and feel like you're getting there.
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Re: First week of Citalopram
Thanks for your advice raindog, I appreciate it and it's good to know that others have been there and done it, though to me it all sounds a bit scary, I took my first pill this morning at 1030 and so far I haven't felt anything out of the ordinary not sure how long it will be before I start to experience some of the side efforts or maybe none who knows, if I wasn't keeping myself occupied I would probably be imagining all sorts of things.
I have already been experiencing slight nausea at times, ringing in my ears, dizziness and light headedness, impaired vision and extreme tiredness so may not notice a difference with the pills.
Take care
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Re: First week of Citalopram
I've started to get itchy lumps come up on my arms and legs, they're like insect bites, I don't have a cat or dog so it can't be flea's and I haven't been out of the house today; has anyone else had this happen or is it just a coincidence ?
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Re: First week of Citalopram
That may be the anxiety, I've had similar symptoms since mine started. I thought it might be the cat owned by the guy downstairs since she sometimes wanders around the building and pops in to say hi, but I now think it's possibly an effect from the anxiety making me get them.
It could be tied to high blood pressure, which I've had, but who knows for sure. Hope you have a smooth ride these first weeks, but we'll see as the week goes on. Keep in touch and start a diary, even if you have no side effects you can let others know that worrying about them isn't necessary.
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Re: First week of Citalopram
Monday 31 May 2010, week 3, day 15 of taking Ciralopram. It seems to have gone so fast, I'm on week 3 already, but then the time does seem to slip by that bit quicker as you get older. I feel like I've had a minor dip over the past couple of days, my depression making me feel a little down and my anxiety trying to nudge in a little bit when I wake up. Nothing I can't handle though now, at least I don't feel swamped like I did a couple of weeks ago.
While I was laid in bed a little while ago, my mind started going down that negative road a bit, thinking about having struggled for all these years and not having much to show for it, no job, still living in a little bedsit flat, making me feel useless and a loser, like I don't every really fit in with what's going on around me.
I got up and I've just finished breakfast, which has helped a bit. I realise that I have gotten my degree and skills I can put to use so it's not like I have absolutely nothing to show. I still feel like I don't quite belong somehow, like I've always been snubbed, ignored, excluded and left aside. I've come to terms with that over the years, figured there might be some design to it perhaps but it still makes you feel alone sometimes when you look back. A lot of it may be simply imagined, just people being a bit insensitive, but I think this is the reason I'm a little reluctant to open up to others at times, feel a little awkward and take my time feeling comfortable with people I've just met. I'm happy to talk to new people, but it's that line between talking to them and being relaxed enough to be just yourself. At times like this, when I'm going through depression, I wonder if they see me as a bit wild eyed and loony, which probably isn't the case but you are never sure how others see you. It's this thought that makes me wonder if it's affected some of the jobs I've had and if it's contributed to me wandering from job to job, have they let me go in the past because they didn't feel comfortable with me in the workplace?
I know my sense of humour can be a bit random and, at times, darker than some, and I am a bit moody at times when I feel strongly about something, like my work. I guess life's a learning experience sometimes and I have to try not to be so precious about things and take it easier. I think I've just spent a lot of my life looking for somewhere I feel like I belong and some direction in life which is why I feel like I've got not much to show for all my time. I have the ability to learn things quickly but I always seem to have taken my time to get started, so maybe my life is just following that pattern, perhaps it's just around the corner after years of trying, I might finally find that direction I feel I lack right now.
Anyone out there got some direction going spare I could use for a while :D
Better days people.
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Re: First week of Citalopram
Listen dude, chuck your random dark humour here! I'm a forensic psychologist. My mind is full of black!!! I'll chuck some back if you like! I'm so dark I'm on the gym in a bike looking at NMP! Lol x
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Re: First week of Citalopram
Morning Lou,
I'm just getting myself ready to go over to CVFM, the little radio station I volunteer at, to do the last Beatles show for the bank holiday. That should help take my mind off things.
Anyone interested in having a listen can visit CVFM's Facebook page and use the ustream link below the logo. We'll be doing the Beatles show from 1pm til whenever we finish really, however long it takes.
Feeling a bit tired this morning but I have most of the weekend, I think the cloudy weather has contributed to that, plus this past week has been the first for a while that I've started getting a decent nights sleep and being able to wake up without the anxiety digging it's claws in the moment I become conscious.
At least things feel manageable after being on the Cit for a few weeks, thanks for posting and keep going yourself, sounds like you're doing ok so far.
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Re: First week of Citalopram
I just sent in an email request for a Beatles track dedicated to everyone here on the NMP forums, so use the link above to have a listen after 1pm or send us a request at beatlescvfm@gmail.com for a request of your own, we'd love to hear from you guys.
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Re: First week of Citalopram
hi raindog,just had my 7th day of 10mg of citalopram,i feel worse than i did before i started taking them for anxiety,doctor gave me 7 days worth of diazepam to take the edge off the heightened anxiety,but i havn't taken them.how long was it before u started feeling better?cheers.
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Re: First week of Citalopram
Yea, I am doing ok.... didn't take a D until about 3pm today - weyhey! Im tired too hun, but seems better today than recent days - think when u run on adrenaline for so long, then calm down a little the tiredness from the anxiety is often blamed on the meds.... My trapizius muscle is shot from last week - hot bath tonight me thinks! x
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Re: First week of Citalopram
Hi Shaun,
The first 7 days of my journey were the worst, it was the following Monday, day 8 when I found I had levelled out enough to not feel so horribly desperate, it was like a weight had been taken off my shoulders. Everybody is different and you may take longer to feel that lifting of your mood, some take a while longer, but hopefully you'll get that first good day soon.
I know about the tiredness Lou, my shoulders ache from the tension my muscles were under while I was feeling so anxious and I've been tired all weekend despite getting plenty of sleep. It does wear you out running at that speed all the time.
Better days to you two.
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Re: First week of Citalopram
Tuesday, day 16. I enjoyed my breakfast so much I almost forgot to take my pill. Decided to take a Propanolol as well since I've still got this little undercurrent of anxiety that showed itself yesterday when we were getting the Beatles show started. There was some confusion and several conversations going on at once which made me feel a bit tense, but that eased once things calmed down.
After the show we headed to a pub near my house and we sat in the sun on the grass and had a good chat about stuff. I made sure I only drank soft drinks, but that doesn't bother me much anyway since I've not been much of a beer drinker for some years, I enjoy one now and then but can easily get by without.
A friend offered to coach me in transcendental meditation, which sounds interesting. That may help me relax more and help me find some sort of focus that I feel I've lost. Right now I feel like I'm just floating around, no direction to go in, no idea what I really want in life, just wandering with nothing in sight to really give me any idea of where I'm going.
Saltydawg suggested I should become a counsellor after helping him over the past few days with his first tough week of taking Citalopram. Not sure if I'm cut out for that, I often need counselling myself, which reminds me I should try and get in for a counselling session at the Mind drop in service this week, didn't get chance last week with things being so busy.
So there we go, still feeling a bit messy all round, the depression and anxiety are at much lower levels now so that lets me function without the horrible desperation, but it's going to be a long road back to whatever is supposed to be normal. Getting back into the rat race isn't something I really relish to be honest, all that working for idiots and such, but having some spare cash would be nice.
If anyone body wants to fit a large cat flap in their door, I'm almost house trained :D
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Re: First week of Citalopram
I'm on day two of taking cit now, and am feeling awful. Felt dizzy, headache, dry mouth, even more anxious than normal and as for the depression...i've literally just wanted to stay in bed alllll day. This is really tough but I'm hoping it gets better :(
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Re: First week of Citalopram
Hi Justagirl,
It does, trust me, might take a week or two but it does, just grit your teeth and hold on tight. Few bits of advice for you to help you get through:
Get some camomile tea, it's decaf and really helps you feel more relaxed, which is really nice before bed.
If you like bananas, eat 'em, they have B vitamins that help with anxiety.
Don't have any alcohol as it can have adverse effects over the following day or two of you enjoying a drink, certainly within this initial period when the Cit is possibly making your anxiety worse before it gets better.
Go for walks, even if you don't feel too great, just a quick walk round the block can clear your head a bit and help brighten your mood.
Keep posting and even start your own diary thread if you feel up to it, helps you see how you've improved and helps others who follow.
It's only day 2 for you, you may get lucky and not suffer too much before you level out, hope that's how it is but even if it's not that easy, let us know, keep us posted. There is plenty of support and advice here on NMP, and welcome to the site, hope you find it helpful.
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Re: First week of Citalopram
Thanks for the advice Raindog, I will try those out. Seem to be having a lack of appetite as well..which isn't good and I think is adding to the feeling dizzy!
At least its a different sort of feeling to the anxiety for the time being even though I can feel myself being very anxious!!
I'll go for a walk tomorrow and see how that goes, hope the weather is better!
I'll post tomorrow after day 3 hald way through the first week..
Justagirl_
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Re: First week of Citalopram
Wednesday, day 17. Well, what a development. Went to the radio station yesterday, did my little stint with Stuart hosting the community focus show we'd been working on and it went well. I left the station around 3ish and was just heading home when my phone rang.
It was a friend of mine from university who asked me if I was looking for work, which I am. He said there was a job going at the place where he works and was I interested, which I was since it was doing the sort of thing I've been doing for the past few years. I said I'd send my CV off to him as soon as I got home.
Once I'd sent that off he rang me and said I had an interview Thursday at 3pm, which made me happy. This is the only interview I've had since I lost my job at the end of August last year, so I feel like I'm getting somewhere now instead of sitting about like a complete lemon.
Weird thing is that my friend is on my FaceBook friends list and I rarely bother with FB but I dropped in there for some reason a few weeks ago and for no real reason I poked this friend who called me yesterday and he poked back. Maybe that acted as a reminder I was still here when he was thinking who might be good for the job.
Feeling a bit nervous this morning but I've been using my little mantra thing to stop my mind spinning too much, but generally feeling hopeful. A few weeks ago I panicked just from emails about jobs so it's an improvement that I feel more positive and ready to dive back into work. Let's see how it goes tomorrow. Right now I need to go buy a pair of trousers that fit me for the interview, I still haven't lost enough weight to fit into some of my older ones, but at least I'm not as big around the waist as I was a few months ago so another improvement there.
If I can get this job it will help drag me out of the funk I've been in, give me something to focus on each day and put some money in the bank, which hasn't helped while out of work. I'll be able to get out a little more and have some spare cash to head out to places for things to do, join in when friends go places and such, maybe even meet up with a few of the NMP members around the north east for one of the get togethers that might be planned.
This is often how things play out for me, I go for ages trying to get a job then one appears out of the blue from left field and catches me on the hop, same thing happened 3 years ago when I first took Citalopram, was only on the meds for a week or so then managed to get a job shortly after and been working up until the end of last year.
Like I said, you never know what's just around the corner, could be good, could be bad, I often find that something good finds me after I've been through the bad, so I'm hoping I've earned enough Karma going through this to give me the something good.
Will keep you posted. Better days for you all.
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Re: First week of Citalopram
Thursday 3rd, day 18. Woke up some time after 5am, dozed for a while then decided to get up around 6ish and see if anyone was around online I could chatter to in order to help my nerves. I have my job interview at 3pm and feeling naturally nervous. Thank god it wasn't a couple of weeks ago or I'd be panicking :D
Nobody around in the chat room at the moment of writing this so figured I'd expend some of my energy adding a post to my diary, not that I have much to say this morning. It is a nice sunny morning and I'm feeling pretty good generally, I'll be feeling even better if I get this job, I tell you!
I've been smoking a bit more this week than last, but it's been pretty busy and I've been pushing myself a bit this week to get things done and feel better about beating the anxiety I had about doing those things in previous weeks, plus knowing I had this job interview for the past day or two has made me a bit jumpy. I'll get back to cutting down once this is done and dusted.
Hope everyone has a good day today.
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Re: First week of Citalopram
Oh the suspense!!!!!
I was just getting ready to go to my interview when I got a phone call from the company I'm being interviewed by to ask if I could reschedule my interview for 2.30 tomorrow afternoon, as another interviewee had been held up or something. Fine by me I guess, but it does delay the agony just a bit longer :D
Oh well, another morning of being twitchy I suppose, hope it's worth it in the end. Some days you just wonder don't you.
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Re: First week of Citalopram
Friday, day 19. Sunny morning, woke up about 6ish and managed to doze for a while but felt nervous about the interview, maybe a bit worse than yesterday probably because of the wait. I would have preferred to get it out of the way yesterday but there you go.
I eventually had to get up when a wasp or some large fly flew in through the open window and started doing the usual wandering around the room in confusion looking for the exit again. It buzzed off and I decided that I was awake so would hop online and see who was awake on NMP in the chat room.
At least a bit of banter with the folks in there has helped calm my nerves a bit so thanks for that peeps, and breakfast was very nice today, I'm really getting to like my morning porridge.
At least I don't have to rush out to sign on today then rush back to get ready for the interview and the weather may be a little cooler up here today, so I won't feel so hot in my jacket on the way over there.
Hope people are doing well, and for those going through a rough time, better days to you.
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Re: First week of Citalopram
Good luck with the interview! Think of your fellow no more panickers when you are in there. We're rooting for you. :yesyes:
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Re: First week of Citalopram
Saturday, day 20.
This has come around fast, it looked so far away during that first week and now I find myself here, thoroughly enjoying my breakfast of milky porridge and actually a bit glad it's starting to cloud over, might help it cool down a bit today. Sorry if you're living around the Teesside area and wanted blazing sunshine today, looks like it's going to be a bit more hazy than the past couple of days.
I woke up feeling a bit anxious and down, negative thoughts creeping, was I going to get the job, did they think I was good enough, thinking about all the things I could have done better, yadda yadda yadda....
Oh well, if I don't get it I don't get it, big deal in the end, it would have just been nice to get the confidence boost and the monthly wage too :D
One good thing was that on the way home from the interview yesterday I got a phone call from an agency with another job prospect, so even if this one doesn't pan out, there is still that to look to. In some ways I'm glad now that I didn't have my interview on Thursday, even this short wait to see if I get the job or not isn't great, so in a way they did me a favour :)
Hope everyone has a good weekend, and better days to you :)
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Re: First week of Citalopram
Sunday, day 21. Almost week 4 already, time does fly when you're...er.. yeah, anyway :D
I almost forgot to do my daily post, I had a nice lazy Sunday morning and enjoyed my breakfast so much I almost forgot to take my Cit tablet. Had quite a decent day yesterday, sitting outside a pub with a couple of friends in the shade, then heading home and joining in the Saturday night quiz in the chat room, bit of a laugh and helps you get to know a few people.
Today I wandered over to the Mind center where they have an open social event on a Sunday afternoon and late afternoons a couple of days a week. I hadn't been for a couple of weeks and thought I'd show my face so they didn't think I'd just vanished.
The rain was coming down on the way there and back but I just put my hood up and ignored it. The walk through the park both ways was quite nice since there was hardly anyone in there today with the weather and the fact that there was a free live music festival going on in the town, which I decided to avoid since it's not as good as it was a few years ago while I was here at Uni.
Still waiting to hear about the job I went for on Friday, hopefully I'll hear tomorrow, just wait and see. Apart from that not much happened today, but it is Sunday so what do you expect.
Better days people.
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Re: First week of Citalopram
And welcome to week for of my Citalopram journey folks!
Monday, day 22, enjoying my morning bowl of porridge and actually remembered to take my Cit pill this morning before I eat so that's something :D
I think the past few days have been a very minor dip with my anxiety, but that was probably a combination of the heat affecting me and having a job interview on Friday and waiting to hear about it. Getting back to work was a big trigger for my anxiety so I'm not surprised that I'm getting that flutter of it at the moment, but at least it's just a flutter and nothing I feel is going to overwhelm me like before.
Talking to a friend of mine from NMP in the chat room earlier and we were discussing how anxiety makes you need constant reassurance and a feeling of security. We even talked about wanting to be bundled up and taken away where we would be looked after and everything that we felt we were facing each day would be taken care of. I often wished I was on some hospital ward getting my meals cooked for me, not having to deal with the daily grind I found so tough when my anxiety was in full effect, no job worries, no money worries, having someone around to tell me it was ok when I woke up so early in the morning feeling gripped by the anxiety.
My friend admitted that they asked to be sectioned and I had to admit that if I'd gone on much longer, I probably would have tried that myself, seeing it as an escape from struggling through each day. It was like a memory I kept having of my mum when I was maybe 6 years old, I had some illness, just a bug as kids get, but I was feeling worn out and achy. She sat me on her knee and cuddled me while she rocked me to sleep. I think that memory kept popping up because that's what I wanted to go back to, no responsibilities, no worries, none of the usual day to day worries, just me wrapped in misery but feeling comfortable because someone was there to help and give me reassurance.
I'm sure lots of us who've been through anxiety have been down this road, wanting someone to wave that magic wand and for all our problems to go away. I'm glad I started taking the Cit, it's gotten me to the point where I don't feel so desperate for the reassurance, for the magic wand to take it all away, I've found the strength to deal with it myself mostly. The Citalopram takes the edge off so I can get on with my life and maybe look at dealing with the underlying issues that brought me here in the first place.
That was all a bit deep wasn't it, I need a cuppa now :p
Better days for you.