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Feel so proud of myself today UPDATED 25 July :(
As a lot of you know I have been working really hard to beat my agoraphobia lately and am making sure I try to leave the house at least once a day even if it is just to drive the 10 minute journey to collect my eldest Ami from work.
Today was my youngests 11th birthday and this afternoon I decided i would suprise her and collect her from school, something I haven't felt able to do for months now.
A friend and I drove to the school and I thought bloody hell not sure I can do this now, but I so needed to, so I got out the car and walked to the school gate and into the playground. I looked at my phone and it said 7 minutes until the bell was due to ring for home time, 7 minutes is like 7 hours to someone who doesn't do waiting and doesn't do crowds or the outside lol.
2 friends saw me there and came over and both said 'bloody hell Trac who let you out' .............. ok so I have been a hermit for a while now lol.
Checks time on phone again just as bell rings and the kids all pile into the playground, woo nearly there ......................... well apart from Erin who does like to walk as slow as possible into the playground chatting away to her 2 friends she walks home with, I spotted her walking down and she hadn't noticed me then all of a sudden she looked up and stopped then looked again and just flew down the playground and threw her arms around me and with a huge smile on her face said 'wow well done mum, did you do this cause its my birthday and you wanted to suprise me' :D then she grabbed my hand and we walked back to the car, bloody hell did I feel good seeing the huge smile on her face when she saw me standing there.
Later on we went to burger king to collect dinner (Erins choice as it was her birthday) and I went in ordered, paid and waited for the food, well if I can do the school playground I can do burger king lol.
Over the next few weeks I have a lot coming up, I start a self esteem course on the 4th July, on the 5th July I have Erins end of year school show, hoping to go to the NMP meet up on the 8th July and then out for a birthday meal on the 13th July, so its kill or cure time for Trac and her agoraphobia from now on lol. I will let you know how all of these go.
But as for tonight I can't stop smiling and seeing the look on Erin's face and hearing how proud she was of me for doing something most mum's do everyday without thinking about it, but has taken me so long to finally achieve again.
Trac feels like she is definatley on her road to freedom and it feels bloody good.
Today I JFDI :yesyes:
Love
Trac xxxx
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Re: Feel so proud of myself today
You go girl :yesyes: . I'm smiling from ear to ear. Sometimes I think our children appreciate the small things more when they don't take them for granted! I am so proud of you Trac and I know how much it meant for Erin to see you do this for her especially on her birthday. You have so much planned you will be in a whirl! Good luck for the future and let me know how the self esteem class goes, I might enroll in one of those. :hugs: for you today.
Love,
Laura
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Re: Feel so proud of myself today
that is brilliant big hugs to you
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Re: Feel so proud of myself today
You can have a big squeeze from me Trac - well done matey!! :hugs: :yesyes:
Piglet :flowers:
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Re: Feel so proud of myself today
Hi Trace
Wow yet another BIG achievement:yesyes: :yesyes: :yesyes:
Im so proud of you Trace:hugs: , you have been trying so hard latley to beat your fears and have made some brilliant progress, you are definatley getting there matey:yesyes: . it always makes me so happy when i hear about your successes.:D
You keep up the good work and a MASSIVE WELL DONE for what you have achieved on Erins Birthday!:yesyes:
Hugs:hugs: :hugs:
Andrea
xxxxxxx
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Re: Feel so proud of myself today
:yesyes: http://i150.photobucket.com/albums/s...ongrats/20.gifYOU GO Girl! WELL DONE:yesyes:
kEEP UP THE GOOD WORK HUN,
TAKE CARE,:hugs:
LOVE PIP'S X X X X
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Re: Feel so proud of myself today
oh wow! :D :yesyes: :D
thats fantastic... well done you...
and your littleun sounds really cool too... she knew how hard that was for you ...what a way to make her day special...
then burger king afterwards... that is just so brilliant
rach
x
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Re: Feel so proud of myself today
Erin certainly sussed you out!
That is a terrific and positive achievement hun and you every reason to be so proud of yourself :)
You have a lot coming up, so make sure you get plenty of You time before all these happenings.
Hope to see you on the 8th.
Hugs
:hugs:
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Re: Feel so proud of myself today
Trac I'm so proud of you for doing this, well done bud! :yesyes: It must have been lovely to see Erin's reaction, it certainly made me smile. :D All of the events you've lined up shows how much courage and strength you have. I hope they all go well and will be thinking about you each time.
Take care,
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Re: Feel so proud of myself today
Well done Trac YOU GO GIRL!!!:yesyes: :yesyes: :yesyes: . What an achievement just have to keep doing it now you will get there.:hugs: :hugs: :hugs:
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Re: Feel so proud of myself today
:yesyes::yesyes::yesyes::yesyes::yesyes::yesyes:
well done mum!!!!!!!! xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
so so so so proud of you!!!! xxx:hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:
its great seeing you so happy and knowing all these things ar going well for you. seeing how strong you are makes me stronger to fight. you really are one in a million and im proud of you every single day and im very very very lucky to have the best mum there could be!! :hugs::hugs:
:flowers::flowers::flowers::flowers::flowers::flow ers:
love you xxxx
xxxxxxxxxx
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Re: Feel so proud of myself today
thats is wonderful news trac, i know your on your way girl,aw just touches my heart when you speak of your children and how happy they are for you,im on my way out to start counceling we will see how that goes and i wanted to thank you for being supportive of me when i needed it ,you really know who ya can count on for encouragment, i wish you all the best trac are you also a single mom? sorry my mind is blank...well have to go now to my appt,keep up the good work and you will go to all your outings and have a wonderful time...take care.stay positive keep the faith..........Linda xxxx
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Re: Feel so proud of myself today
just wanted to say I am enjoying the programme. What a gorgeous house!!!
some of the therapies are a tad weird but hey if they work
Go Girl
Joy
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Re: Feel so proud of myself today
Awwwwww Trac:hugs:
This made me cry when I read it:weep:
How brilliant are you managing to meet Erin from school:yesyes:
WELL DONE TRAC:yesyes: :yesyes: :yesyes: :yesyes: :yesyes: :yesyes:
Luv Kaz x x x:hugs:
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Aww this is soo good to hear Trac :yesyes: Well done you. I bet Erin was chuffed to bits :hugs:
Such great plans for the coming weeks. One step at a time mate :hugs:
Karen xx
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Re: Feel so proud of myself today
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Re: Feel so proud of myself today
WELL DONE!!!
:yesyes: :yesyes: :yesyes: :yesyes: :yesyes: :yesyes: :yesyes: :yesyes: :yesyes:
Love and hugs from shoegal xxx
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Re: Feel so proud of myself today
Aww thankyou everyone :hugs: :hugs:
Felt shattered today not used to doing so much lol
Will keep you updated as to the rest of my upcoming events :yesyes:
Love
Trac xxx
Lindalou, hope your session went well mate :D and yes I am a single mum thats why i really need to beat this now xx
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Re: Feel so proud of myself today
Awwww Trac, that's fantastic :yesyes: I had a little tear in my eye when I read what you said about your daughter spotting you in the playground.
Good Luck with your other challenges, you will sail through them :)
Well done!
Kate xxx
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Re: Feel so proud of myself today
Aww Trac so well done for today so so pleased for me must admit reading it it did make me fill up but such lovely news best present Erin could have had. so well done Trac and good luck with the future events hun you can do it sending you lots of love and hugs so pleased for you.
(((((HUGS))))
:hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs:
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Re: Feel so proud of myself today
Well done Trac, well done.
It may be an everyday activity for other people but it was a milestone for you. Hope you treated yourself well at Burger King too :)
Take care
Eibhlin
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Re: Feel so proud of myself today
TRAC WOW WOW WOW :yesyes: A BIG GINORMOUS HUG AND HANDSHAKE FOR YOU HUN WOOHOOOOO :hugs: :flowers: :yesyes: YOUR A FAB PERSON TRAC AND GIVE YOURSELF A BIG PAT ON THE BACK FROM ME HUN WELL DONE :hugs: :hugs: :yesyes: XXXXX
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Re: Feel so proud of myself today
Trac
Better late than never mate :blush:
You know how proud I am of you and you have made massive progress recently.
Stick at it mate and you will soon feel on top of the world all the time
WELL DONE TRAC:shades:
:yesyes: :hugs: :hugs:
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Re: Feel so proud of myself today
Thankyou everyone :hugs: since i last posted on here I have made sure I have been going out everyday, even if it is just to drive to town to collect Ami from work, and all on my own................ im getting a big girl now lol
Will keep you all posted as its my busy 2 weeks now with all my new challenges :ohmy:
Love
Trac xxx
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Re: Feel so proud of myself today
:yesyes: :yesyes: :yesyes:
:hugs: :hugs: :hugs:
Piglet :flowers:
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Re: Feel so proud of myself today
your doing great trac, keep it up girl,my meeting went so so i knew more than her tho lol.so she suggested we work on grief instead and start a womens group for me...i wish ya best....Linda
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Re: Feel so proud of myself today
Trac, I am so proud of you hun. A massive well done to you.
Luv & Hugs
Darkangel x
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Re: Feel so proud of myself today
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Re: Feel so proud of myself today
well done hun keep good work up
bellxx
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Re: Feel so proud of myself today
Hi Trace
Well done matey for yet more achivements:yesyes: :yesyes: :yesyes:
You are certainly beating the anxiety:yesyes: Im so proud of you:) :)
Keep up the great work that you are doing! :flowers:
Lots of hugs:hugs: :hugs: :hugs:
Andrea
xxxxx
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Re: Feel so proud of myself today
Hi mate, proud of ya, keep it going :yesyes:
Davexx
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Re: Feel so proud of myself today UPDATED
As promised here is an update as to what I have been doing the past week.
Well as most of you know I went for my self esteem course and didn't sit under the table lol. http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=21360
Last night was Erin's leavers show ......................and I went woo hoo:yesyes: , felt anxious just before we left, as it was being held in a theatre at the local naval base, so lots of people ...........aarrgghh. Erin's school know about my agoraphobia and kindly reserved us front row seats so I wouldn't feel trapped once I was there.
I did feel slightly anxious and had to keep moving about in my seat, but once the show started and the lights went down I forgot all about it. Erin came on stage and her face broke into a huge smile when she saw me sat there, and she sung her heart out all the way through the show.
During the interval I was even brave enough to go and queue at the ladies ( well it was either that or leave a puddle where I was sitting lol) as I went to go back to my seat Erin spotted me and ran over and gave me a huge hug and asked was I feeling ok, and then gave me a kiss and a big hug again infront of all her friends :yesyes:
Not sure who was prouder of who to be honest, me seeing Erin on stage or Erin seeing me sat watching her.
I have missed so much the last year with my girls, and last night really did make me feel so good that I overcame my fear and JFDI.
Thankyou everyone for all the support you give me, It really does make me want to over come my agoraphobia even more.:hugs:
Love
Trac xxxxx
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Re: Feel so proud of myself today UPDATED
WHEYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY Trac :yesyes: :yesyes: :yesyes: :yesyes:
REALLY WELL DONE :yesyes: :yesyes: :yesyes: :yesyes:
:hugs: and brightest Angel Blessings to you and your achievements
Mystics:flowers:
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Re: Feel so proud of myself today UPDATED
:yesyes: :yesyes: :yesyes: :yesyes:
:yesyes: :yesyes: :yesyes: :yesyes:
My gosh Trace theres no stopping you now!!!!
WELL DONE !!!
:hugs: :hugs: :hugs:
LOVE
Andrea
xxxx
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Re: Feel so proud of myself today UPDATED
Trac
So lovely to hear about this last night and thanks for taking time to call me and see how I was doing.
Well done mate - you should be so proud of yourself :bighug1:
You are doing so fab at the moment - long may it continue.:yesyes:
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Re: Feel so proud of myself today UPDATED
mum!!:weep::weep:
you really are doing soooo well. its unbelievable how far you have come. you keep fighting everyday and showing how strong you are. its makig me sooo proud of you.
you realy are getting better mum and you coud never ever be a better mum than you are.
i am more proud of you every day and always know that if my mum can fight this then i can too so thank you for giving me the strength to fight mum.
**together we will beat this togethe we will win**
love you lots mum xxxx
love pink princess xxxxxxxxxxxx
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Re: Feel so proud of myself today UPDATED
TRAC,
YOU ARE A http://glittertexten.animaatjes.nl/i...maatjes-nl.gif
WELL DONE !!
:hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:
:flowers:
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Re: Feel so proud of myself today UPDATED
WELL DONE!!!
:bighug:
:emot-highfive:
:emot-woot: :emot-woot:
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Re: Feel so proud of myself today UPDATED
You Go Trac:yesyes: :yesyes: :yesyes: :yesyes: :yesyes: :yesyes: :yesyes:
Luv Kaz x x x:flowers:
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Re: Feel so proud of myself today UPDATED
Thankyou sooo much everyone for all the kind words :yesyes:
next big one is going out for a meal on friday, so will let you know how it goes
Love
Trac xxx