Constant Thinking about thoughts

Im so scared right now and I feel like Im going mad.. I keep thinking about my thought processes. Like what makes thoughts, where are they stored, how do i even know if im mad? its making me so scared. I even question how do i know how to talk?!! its been like this for about 3 days, im usually a happy person (with health worries but never anything like this) Im really really frightened about what is going to happen to me, am i going insane? Will i ever be able to feel and think normally again?

Helpful comments please as im in such a bad place... just want to snap out of this....

Samantha

We all experiene worries like this every now and then - we call them existential crisises. Here is an article you may find interesting. It doesn't really help but it should help you understand that you are not the only one who worries about such things.
I went through a stage where I was haunted by the fact my nose is always in my vision. Sounds ridiculous, but I was in absolute terror. It will go, just don't give the thoughts any attention.
You worry about what thoughts are - so refer to "you" as your observing self that is not included in science or questioning, it's just the bit that "sees". That sounded right in my head, sorry.

thank you for replying.

I'm at my wits end. I actually feel mad, I feel like I've convinced myself I'm mad!! I'm so confused because of all this 'what are thoughts' 'what makes a memory'. Most people would think of these things and think no more of it, It's making me insane. Im shaking as i write this out now and I'm crying because I feel like I'll never find happiness again!!

Sorry to be unloading all my problems but I'm at breaking point.

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Originally Posted by samantha8889

thank you for replying.

I'm at my wits end. I actually feel mad, I feel like I've convinced myself I'm mad!! I'm so confused because of all this 'what are thoughts' 'what makes a memory'. Most people would think of these things and think no more of it, It's making me insane. Im shaking as i write this out now and I'm crying because I feel like I'll never find happiness again!!

Sorry to be unloading all my problems but I'm at breaking point.

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Please be consoled, you are not the only person who has had this. It feels like it's much more scary than worrying about other "benign" things but it's only because of the importance you attach to the idea. You are not going mad. It does make you confused and there is no answer which makes it feel a lot worse but trust me, it's only your fear that keeps it going, and I've had this before. You look fine on the outside but inside you can see no way out and it seems ultimate and awful - but it isn't. I hd the same thoughts and I'm still here and I'm happy. Notice how if you are distracted by something else, you are fine and living how you should until you think about your worry again. That's all you need to do, caccy on how you were and don't act any differently. When you start stressing, just greet your thoughts like a friend and let them go. Be absorbed in whatever it is you are doing.

It feels really awful I know. But it will pass! It may take a while and will seem like forever but trust me, it will get better. Please stop crying now and have a hearty meal :)

Thank you so much for your kind words. I tend to think of worst case scenario for everything that happens. This just feels so intense at the moment that I see no way out!! You also say that I feel better when I think of something else. That's just the thing, I've thought of nothing else for 3 days straight!! Every time I go to do something else or talk to someone it's like my brain says 'how am I speaking?' or 'how is my brain working' It's taking over. I haven't gone back to work because of it, I feel im having a proper mental breakdown. I know I need to get a grip but I can't help questioning every single thing I do and say!!

A week ago I was fine, I want to go back to that place. Has anyone ever lost their mind this way?

So sorry for all the questions you must be annoyed!!

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Originally Posted by samantha8889

Thank you so much for your kind words. I tend to think of worst case scenario for everything that happens. This just feels so intense at the moment that I see no way out!! You also say that I feel better when I think of something else. That's just the thing, I've thought of nothing else for 3 days straight!! Every time I go to do something else or talk to someone it's like my brain says 'how am I speaking?' or 'how is my brain working' It's taking over. I haven't gone back to work because of it, I feel im having a proper mental breakdown. I know I need to get a grip but I can't help questioning every single thing I do and say!!

A week ago I was fine, I want to go back to that place. Has anyone ever lost their mind this way?

So sorry for all the questions you must be annoyed!!

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Don't worry, that's why I'm here I want to make you better :) No one has ever lost their mind this way, you are in the grips of anxiety and although it feels a million time worse than just anxiety, that's what it is. It always fools you by making you feel like you are the worst affected person on earth. I thought the same.

You feel like you haven't had a moments break but I can garuntee you that at some point int he day you haven't thought about it. THe reason it's there all the time is you are trying not to think about it. Try thinkingabout it non stop and you will notice your mind wonder. It's a uesful trick, try it right now.

Thank you...

Right now my head just feels like all jumbled up and hazy. Hate this, I really don't want to go through it!! I know what your saying is what I need to do, but I can't help but feel there is more to it than just anxiety!! Is it possible to go 'insane'? because if it is, that is where i feel i am

:weep:

That's how anxiety works, it wants you to think that there's "more" to it, that you are the "odd case", or you are somehow a flawed person who cannot manage in the world. That's what people used to think anyway, but with modern medicine, we can happily diagnose you with anxiety! Why? Because of the fear. The fact you are rationally thinking about insanity and feeling very scared of it proves you are sane. One does not just go insane, you have to have a history of schitzophrenia or something similar, and not only that but someone would have pointed out to you by now that you ought to be locked away. Ask your friends and family how they see you and if there's anything wrong with you, the worst they would say is that you are sensitive or nervous.
People with anxiety and people with insanity can never have both because of how our brain works, you have one or the other, also known as nuerosis or psychosis. You have nuerosis.
Remember it's your hatred and fear that is keeping this going. If you can get to a point where you can happily exist with these thoughts and feelings in the background, they will eventually go. I'll leave this to you unless you have anything else to ask me, in which case fire away! I literally live here :)

As you are a new member, can I ask if you have been to your GP, therapist, taken any medication or sought any kind of help yet in relation to your condition? If not, do so.

Honestly, thank you so so much for your reassurance!!

You don't know how much this has helped me. As you probably guess, I still feel crazy but what you say makes complete sense and it makes me happier that I'm not alone! (Of course not happy you've had to go through it)

I have been to the doctors, they have been no help if I'm honest but I am going to a therapy/counselling session in November.

Thanks again!!

---------- Post added at 18:42 ---------- Previous post was at 18:40 ----------

Oh and all I've taken is Diazapam for sleep

Glad to be of help and good to hear you are going to have counselling, that will help you a lot and so will the diaz. Take care!

Pan :hugs:

Hi Samantha what you have described sounds exactly how I felt when I left my anxiety get so bad, I was having what I thought were strange thoughts and petrified of them. I was sitting at work questioning how all the computers could all be connected to once server because I couldnt see any wires, and random things like that. Alot of what if's etc etc. I was convincing myself I was mad. At the time I never had the internet at home and convinced myself I must have some terrible psychotic illness. I too took Diazepam it does calm you down but it does wear off and its not for long term. In the end what worked for me honestly was Cipralex (Escitalopram) that was after first taking Citalopram which just heightened everything 100 x worse to the point where I begged my mother to stay off work with me because I was frightened of being alone (aged 26) and also could not sleep on my own. I felt that Cipralex worked for me and quite quickly, first of all my sleep and appetite started to come back then gradually feeling better and getting myself informed on anxiety and how to try and control it. I hope that you are ok and dont be too hard on yourself.

hey!!

even though everyone says that it's the anxiety, i still don't quite believe it.. i feel so damn weird!! i keep just asking what makes my brain work? what are thoughts... i feel like im crazy. If i was my normal self i know i would just dismiss these silly thoughts.. now they are taking over my life. I haven't been to work today and I don't want to go tomorrow. This is ruining my life. I'm questioning reality. How can I be sure i am not going insane!? I'm sooooo scared xx

Your not insane/crazy, people that go insane dont know they are going insane and think they are ok until somebody else realises. You know you dont feel right (you are aware of how you feel) and are questioning it and worrying and this is making it worse and the thoughts are because of the anxiety. The brain can do strange things, play tricks make us think strange things. Its really horrible I know and easy for anybody to say thoughts dont hurt you etc, but it can be really distressing for the person. But please be reassured that it WILL pass and WILL go away. Does it calm down when you take the Diazepam ? What about talking to your doctor about something else to help maybe if you feel you need it. I am off to bed now but please feel free to pm me and I will reply tomorrow. Take care. XXX

Hi,

I know exactly how you feel. For example since last Thursday I keep thinking im going to be sick and this then makes me feel nauseous and I retch (usually first thing in the mornings) although im never actually physically sick.

I keep trying to tell im just thinking myself sick if that makes sense but im not having much luck but im determined to stay postive.

Just remember that thoughts are just thoughts, its how we interpret those thoughts that make us anxious for example.

As Pancho said, although it may take a little while, eventually you will learn to not react negatively to those thoughts and then in time because your no longer affected by them the thoughts then disappear as you "forget" about them.

Aaron x

but how can i forget about them when every single thought that pops in my head i question!! im so confused. and so scared. i want to go back to being me!!

xx

I've replied to your message now sam x

Omg Gaz I get the nose thing! I've never seen anyone mention it do I didn't want to!! It's horrible x

I feel the same, been like it since a panic attack 6 weeks ago. I look at people and have to say their names in my head because im convinced im going to go mad or loose my memory. Whats scary is i havent read about anyone else feeling this way. I look at my kids and a voice in my head says "whos that then?" And i just say to myself, wtf? Hes my son i no who he is. I panic and have nervous stomache. I was ok this morning but this eve i have been awful. Im scared im going nuts/loosing the plot?!

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Originally Posted by Michaela2012

Omg Gaz I get the nose thing! I've never seen anyone mention it do I didn't want to!! It's horrible x

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Do you mean you can't escape your own nose? I know it sounds ridiculous but..haha yes, I just forgot about in the end. In fact I got bored of thinking about it. Oh damn I'm going to be thinking about this all day now lol. It's helpful to keep distracted while bearing in mind that the thought can't hurt you and really, it's a very trivial thing to worry about. It's been there all your life, why worry now? I can't even remember why I did! XD so take heart it will pass.

i have really similar problems with my memory i felt crazy spent a year thinking that still battle it now, my thoughts were if everything i say i forget whats the point in saying anything and if everything i do i never think about again whats the point in doing anything ,and my kids are so funny but i will just forget that funny thing they did, depression/ anxiety cause this . i also think its your stressed mind playing tricks on u the best thing i have done is just slow my life down i quit my job i try to sleep well i spend time with positive people and i am determind to beat this and reclaim my mind ive done cbt it works a bit but no one gets u and antidepressants make me worse to the point i cant get up to look after my kids , recovery is sloooow give yourself time and try not to get involved in thoughts watch them float on by (cbt)

I know this thread was a while ago now but I thought I would post to see how you are. Also to advise you to try Andrew Johnson's iPhone apps for relaxing and stopping panic. They have helped me so much.

I have been felling this a lot recently too, scared and freaking out everytime I think deeply about my mind or how thoughts are made. This thread helped a lot, thanks, I'm thinking about doing some exposure and reading a book on psychology or something so I am faced with my fears. I'm also doign mindfullness and cbt and trying to accept the thoughts and welcome them rather than be scared by them.

I think this might be a slight strain of depersonalisation, does anyone else have any thoughts?

Thanks,

Becky

I could have written the opening post!!
I've been searching the forum to see if anyone has the same problem as me, and I am so relieved to find I am not alone.
Sertraline helped me, and mindfulness via the headspace app.
As did reading these forums, so I know more about my anxiety.