...just wondering :)
SarahC
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...just wondering :)
SarahC
Hi Sarah,
I have been agrophobic in the past and even now can have days where leaving the house is difficult, feel free to pm me if you ever want to talk.
Take care
Trac xx
'Live your life with arms wide open, today is where your book begins, the rest is still unwritten'
homebound~ish agoraphobic here! i can manage a small walk from my house, thats it. my mums the same too.
Becci x
Me too - it affects me differently on different days etc.
Love Piglet xx
"Supposing a tree fell down, Pooh, when we were underneath it?" said Piglet.
"Supposing it didn't," said Pooh after careful thought.
Hi..
I would love to chat with other people in my situation.
Please feel free to email me...
beingsarahc'aol.com
thanks
Sarah.
stupid me..
beingsarahc@aol.com
Better!!!
yep 1 here,
trevor,
better to fight for something than to live for nothing
Hi sarah,
Im not agrophobic but ive got a safety zone where i will travel to. Out of that zone i can really panicky.
Sounds odd i know.
Take care
LYNN xx
Yes, I am, have been for years but off and on. I have an excuse now which is I'm an epileptic. The ONE good thing about being epileptic - people "get it" why I don't want to leave the house. But that's never really it. Bad me.
Years ago I went to a free class on how to overcome phobias. At that time my phobia was being stuck on an elevator. I was when immensely pregnant. When they pried the doors open? I didn't have the nerve to climb out, knowing the elevator would drop, cut me in half. I think that's when my agoraphobia started.
If I keep going out? I do much better. For me it's just the thought of it mainly. The ACT of leaving the house. Often once I'm out I'm ok, but sometimes I have panic attacks. I do much better with all these little "rules" I have to manage the fear. For instance one thing I absolutely can not do is sit anywhere but at the end of an aisle in the movie or like church. If I can't? I leave.
I was raped 3 years ago and since then I can get extremely hypervigilant. I didn't even know what I felt was a word, a symptom until I joined here. Again one of my rules is if I feel like someone dangerous is behind me say in a grocery line? I dump my cart of groceries and walk out with no guilt, unbelievable relief.
I'm not saying any of the things I do are healthy or the way to manage it. It's just the way that I do. I do seize in public, it upsets those I'm with but in honesty? It doesn't me. But it sure is a handy excuse not to go out and I don't like that deception.
I DO make myself go out but I can have the "willies" big time the whole time or have a full blown panic attack. . Bless your heart I do know it is very hard. I'm in behavioral modification now for something else. Every time I attend I swear I'm going to tell them how hard it is for me to walk out the door, go somewhere. So far I haven't been able to, but at least I'm still trying, I do hate it I feel my house is my prison but the opposite, going out, sometimes is far worse.
I DO have a service dog and taking her with me helps me a great deal. There are service dogs for people with agoraphobia. Perhaps you should look into that. Reputable places don't charge. I train service dogs for epileptic children and donate them for instance.
Good luck in dealing with this. Tis not much fun. My husband just left for a very frightening doctor's appt - without me. I could not make myself get ready, walk out that door and really I have no idea what I'm afraid of. Our marriage is far from perfect but this he does understand somehow. I'm going thru a very insecure time in my life with health problems and my phobias have ratcheted up in high gear not surprisingly but maddenly.
Meggy
Hi Sara
Im agorophobic also, i have good and bad days, but have improved over the the years.
Love
Andrea
xxx
Thank the Lord i am not alone!!!!
Agoraphobia gets pretty damn lonely at times, especially when no one around you understands. My husband is "normal" and gets angry that i can only go as far as the town with him (1 1/2miles). Hes a non-driver so if i panic, i can't drive, how will i get home!? We can't afford for him to take lessons so were in a catch 22 situation. My only friend has completely disowned me and i am probably at my lowest that i've been in a while. I just want friends, people to come and see me, but who wants a friend that cant leave the house??
Sarah.
FOR MEGGY: Goodness, you've been through a crap load and here i am moaning about me. I should be thankful for what i do have. Sorry.
Sarah really I do believe this. What ever it is you're going thru? Iti's the very worst thing for you. Phobias, anxiety attacks, OCD, all the rest? Aren't comparable individual to individual. Life for me is difficult right now but I also kwow from my life, and others, life is never static, always morphing, and my problems will too. What is THE worst for me? Isn't for you. Is my agoraphapobia worse than yours or others? It would take King Solomen to decide. What is bad for you? Is the very worst thing for you. I really believe that.I don't experience your life but I respect it. Hopefully and very obviously being a new member here? I believe that. Now probably I can say that my computer is acting up FAR worse than yours(big smile).
ONE person on an epilepsy forum one time posted her frustrations with seizures and it did make me mad. There are some people, few in number I believe firmly believe, that perhaps have had such a charmed life that any burp or hiccup along the way is a catastrophe and those? I have very little use for. She had FOUR seizures a year that are for sure the"small"seizures. I have big seizures , debilititaing seizures, multiple every day. I still have a life, as much as I can. She did not. She waited at home, wondering why she didn't qualify for Disability, in quaking fear - she'd have a 1 minute simple partial. I and many have srveral a DAY! GIVE ME A BREAK! Yeah, well, her post of anguish hit me and effected others in a sore spot. The only time a post did.
Hang in there. I will too!
Meggy
Thanks :)
hi sarah
i've had agorophobia on and off for 23 years it is something people dont understand and it is very lonely as people dont stop going out they just stop asking if you want to go. at the moment i'm able to leave the house.
meggy i agree some people seem to complain about the slightest thing i have m.e which leaves me exhausted, in a lot of pain and some days i cant get out of bed or walk but i know someone who gets a twinge and says it hurts i feel like saying to her if only you knew what real pain is like. yet i do far more than she does.
netty
the dreams of the future are better than the history of the past
ooohhh!! i dunno what to say about this! as i am deffinetly one of those ppl who get a muscle twitch and think im someone special and about to die!
Firstly, we dont do it on purpose, we do know that there are ppl out ther who suffer far worse, but we are designed to look after ourselfs, so when alarm bells ring, they ring! Were not selfish to other peoples suffering, far from it.
Were just so uptight and involved in our own safety that we dont want it taken away.
Becci x
Thank you Becci for your post. It is always good to hear MORE from people like yourself. In fact I am lined up for brain surgery and am scared witless. However what am worried about and posted about? Melanoma However many doctors say it doesn't exist yet I'm sure it does - sigh. You have educated me and put things into perspective I understand. It is me who said your problem is the worst problem I believe. I should live it then. Thank you for your post.
Meggy
I'm Jaren, a university student at Ryerson University in Canada. I am taking a research methods class where I have to find someone with agoraphobia. I won't have to interview your or anything like that, just get in touch and possibly make a new friend. If anyone would be kind enough to help me out, please email me at jfolden@ryerson.ca
thanks alot!
jaren
Meggy,
Ive only just seen your reply, and im sorry but i dont understand it?
becci x
Hi sarah
no your not alone, there are many of us out there. my agoraphobia is a result of my panic disorder. i have a safety zone of about 20 minutes from home (in certain directions !!). and am nearly 2 years into this disorder. i lost my job, my partner left and most of my friends just got on with their lives so i have had minimal support except from one very dear friend.
i am begining to not be such a cowardy custard and tried a train ride with my friend the other day and it nearly done me in !!! however, this is major progress for me and i am trying to work towards getting my life back again.
i just cant seem to override the fear......
Well I haven't been shopping for weeks in Tesco and haven't been that far from home either, But my therapist suggested i just went inside Tesco and got a paper, and come out , well I managed to do that, this morning not on my own, got hubby to be my prop so to speak, but I feel absolutely shattered this afternoon feel as if I've climbed a mountain.
Aggy - is that 20 minutes alone or with help?
Alone i have a mile safety zone which is a bit crap but with someone, so far i went as far as Cambridge shopping with my mum and that is about an hour or just over and i went to Clacton last year and thats about an hour away too!
I went to Heathrow to collect a friend from the airport and that took about 2 hours, but i'd taken a travel sick pill to make me sleepy, just as well really, we were stuck in traffic for 80% of the journey!!!!!!!!!
hi sarah, mostly alone. i did take a 20 minute train ride but had a friend with me thankfully as it was very very nervewracking......
you seem to be doing okay though, do you try to go a little bit further every now and then ? i couldnt imagine going so far but i wished i could. mayb one day
I do *try* when i am feeling okay, but the thing is i drive an old L reg car and i don't feel that safe in it, i am looking to purchase a newer car, i am hoping that will give me the security that i am after when driving.
Last year before i got my car i borrowed my mothers and was able to drive a little further without panicking - so after i spend all my money, i hope it will worth it :)
i think i'd be more willing to try and break outa my safety zone if i could drive. have a friend who suffers with PD and had agoraphobia for about 9 months but she is fine now as long as she can drive.
unfortunately, i use public transport or cabs. am thinking about learning to drive once i get a handle on this disorder. til then its the buses for me and oh my that can be very trying at times.........the thing is i think i can 'taste' my freedom, just need to focus, find some courage and maybe a little help from a friend. am sick and tired of feeling so sick and tired and having my 'real' life put on hold.
how are you with 'traffic'?..... sitting on the bus in traffic is a killer for me but i am getting a little better. sometimes i can manage, other times i try to see whats ahead and maybe get off the bus and walk the rest !!!!!
Hi all,
Its such a strange thing, better somedays than others. I very rarely go anywhere unacompanied. Doctors appointment is usually the only place. I too have safety zones, when driving for example, will not drive anywhere unfamiliar, and being stopped at a junction or traffic lights with cars behind brings on panic, if I had the balls to get out of my car and run I would!! I just feel so trapped. Dont do public transport. Cannot cope with queues, waiting rooms, busy shops, crowds, my own garden some days.
Cannot be a passenger in another car, cannot do hairdressers, oh there are all sorts of things I avoid, the list just goes on. Havent worked for 18mths due to it and I first started with my panic attacks around 12yrs ago.
Of course, I could push myself into all of the above situations and more, exposing myself to my fears, but have done this actually over the years and got to the point where it is far less traumatic and stressful to avoid, and I now firmly believe that I will never get over my fears.
It just means I have to make the most of the better days. I am just pathetic really!!
Anyway take care!
Freaky
Hi...
Traffic for me alone is a NO NO.
However i travelled to Heathrow last November and in rush hour with my parents to collect a friend and was stuck in chronic traffic for hours. I had taken a travel sick pill beforehand so i was very sleepy.
"Freakedout". You are defnitely NOT pathetic!
I am better as a passenger. I've done the hairdressers once in 8 years and that was last year, also the dentist is a massive problem to me, but unfortunately because i was terrified i now have a mouthful of knackered teeth that need "extensive" work :(
Great.
Sarah x
@ freaked out - youre far from being pathetic. at this point in time it feels more manageable for you not to place too much stress on yourself.....i can see the logic. we are all different and experience agoraphobia in differing ways. always work to your manageability level and dont take on board others shoulda, coulda's.
i think that because i was always a very impatient person pre-agoraphobia this is now magnified 100 times over.....i hated queuing etc and i feel the same way about , traffic etc.
i had to go to the dentist (on my own) a while back because the teeth (huh!) were starting to hurt. got the lecture from the dentist, had 4 injections because i found out that one didnt work :(, a tooth taken out and one filled.....all this whilst in varying levels of panic. i came out of there in tears and had to have a brandy when i got home as i felt traumatised by the whole situation.......but i got there and did it (cowardy custard that i am!!!) and so can you..
For me, the best way to cope with dental work is sedation. Since last July i've had 2 wisdom teeth and one molar out under sedation and its great :)
I've got another tooth due to be taken out within the next month and hopefully the "extensive" work will be done the same way - with me "out of it"....lol
Sarah.
oooh, i have to give you props sarah, wisdom teeth extraction is notoriously painful, but you did it whether sedated or not.
yikes !!!!
as much as our brains are rewired to think catastrophically, the truth of the matter, in many instances, is that we will not come to any harm......maybe a little (okay, or a lot) of discomfort but WE WILL SURVIVE THE EXPERIENCE.
Ahh Sarah I know what you mean! I had to have my wisdom teeth out(all) a few months ago and I was freaking out so much they had to give me laughing gas then wait then give me my anithesia(sp?) which was the full-knock you out and wake up an hour later and have no clue for the whole day whats going on deal. But.... the sleeping was nice as I have insomina!
"Raises hand for agoraphobic count" [8D]
If nothing else...I will survive.
To: SSJHSMH-U are light and my heart and strength. I will protect you in this life or the next always.
I'm a recovered Agoraphobic. Happy to help anyone....
Love to all members
you can add me to your collection of agoraphobes, i've had it just over three years. i know what you mean about it being lonely, not going out much makes it nigh impossible to make new freinds unfortunately:( another catch 22 cos if you went out and met people it would probably help you to recover[Sigh...]
Three years, thats quite a while.
How are you in your recovery? Can you actually leave the house alone or do you have to go with someone?
I attempted a night out with a girl last November, i lasted about two hours and started panicking and had to leave!
Agoraphobia is poo.
Sarah
Hello yes I was agrophobic, I always used to take my bike with me thinking that if I felt bad I could get home quick. I used to feel as if I wasnt in this world when walking out and many a time I stood frozen not knowing what way to go in panic and really wanted not to be there. Even going a few miles in a car was hard for me, I couldn,t breeth or walk when I tried to get out the car. Most doctors etc tell you to learn relaxation technics, but try doing it when in that position.
I really feel for everyone going through it wish I could help.
love pam
pcurchin
Pamela..
You *WAS* agoraphobic - how did you recover?
Sarah
This site is begining to sadden me. As always i start with such high hopes, people in need and i have the answer and really want to help. I've been there you see, 8 years of Agoraphobia, but more importantly I've recovered.
I joined did afew posts and had personal messages saying they really wanted my help. So i give it and then either nothing or people want to be friends but not actually do anything to face their fear.
The answer to phobia is:
FACE YOUR FEAR : the Agoraphobic obviously needs to go out
STAY IN THE SITUATION : feel the symptoms however horrid
REPEAT REPEAT REPEAT : as many times a day every day
I know getting started is not easy. I wasted 8 years. I know you need as much support as possible. I'm willing to give it. Anything - time energy money. Why does noone want to be cured?
It's probably lovely spending all day on this site swopping pleasantries, but did you come here originally to get help and then leave/ go out in the big wide world? Why did you stay?
I've been on afew site that begin with good intentions of helping people and all have ended up - probably through no fault of those who started them - by sucking people in and KEEPING THEM THERE. It always worries me when a Moderator is unable to beat their own fear. It doesn't stop them being the greatest Moderator in the world, of starting new topics and making people feel good, but what example does it set to new members?
If those who post most and are senior members can't beat their own fear, how can a reply from them help any sufferer RECOVER.
I don't know, i may get into trouble on this site for posting this. It may even be removed before anyone else can read it. But i'm hear to help people recover. I'll tell them how, encourage them to begin and be there daily if they want.
MODERATORS - if you want to RECOVER please post here where everyone can see and i'll support you. Set the example. Face your fear today, tomorrow and never turn aside. Because if you won't even try, what hope have the people who join got.
The SUCCESS section also worries me. RECOVERY is success. Not a good day followed by return to normal.
I say all the above in love. Perhaps i don't belong here. I am recovered and can make friends anywhere i want to! I MAKE time to come here because i relate to peoples problems of phobia and hopelessness. But i'm not looking to waste hours being friendly without people at least puting in some effort to RECOVERY. I actually think i've only seen one post of a recovered person.
I'd really like to see SENIOR members and MODERATORS recovering and posting from experience, not of failure and what tv, books or the latest doctor they saw said.
God bless, i fear the response will be negative to this post, as its easier to attack that listern and face your fear. Love to all readers, Paul.
Love to all members
Hi there paul
I have left a message on another thread about agoraphobia.
We all know what we have to do to get over this problem and i was wondering if you could enlighten us on what techniques you used when in panic mode
bobsy
AARRGGHHH, why are we being named yet again !!!!!!
Just becuase we are moderators doesn't mean we can recover any quicker than anyone else, I have been trying to get rid of this for 9 years now, you make it sound like we don't want to do anything about it.
If it was as easy as facing our fears then hey none of us would be here.
Do you know our circumstances? our backgrounds? why we started to suffer in the first place? no so you cannot judge us I am afraid.
But hey it was a good post if you wanted to piss the mods off, well done.
Trac
'Live your life with arms wide open, today is where your book begins, the rest is still unwritten'
Hm... Paul I don't think that was a fair statement you made about senior members and mods, saying that you don't think mods should be mods if they haven't recovered is ridiculous.
You said that how can senior members and mods possibly help people by replying to a post if they haven't recovered? Well thats ridiculous as well, just because none of us has recovered that doesn't mean we can't give good advice that would help people, you are wrong when you say how could it help others, we have plenty of good advice to give from experiences etc. and it does help people.
I am not cured but I reply to topics that I have an experience in and I believe some of the things I say does help people, so I don't think it was very fair you saying that if none of us senior members/mods have recovered that what we say isn't much help.
Scooby2005.
Oh and one more thing, I do want to recover, so if you think you can help me do that, go ahead and give it your best shot, as I would love to be able to do the things with my kids that I can't at the minute, I would love to go to town, to the cinema, on holiday, all the things people who don't suffer with this can.
Trac
'Live your life with arms wide open, today is where your book begins, the rest is still unwritten'