Needing a hug again

My mom passed away June 29th, I am numb and feel so lost right now.

So very, very sorry to read this. You must be feeling very raw.
Sending huge hugs your way. :hugs:

I know you've been expecting this for some time but it's never easy to accept when it happens. Take it one day at a time while you grieve which is a natural response. Sending love through this difficult time. :hugs:

Huuuuuugs. Sending love and sympathy.

Very sorry for your loss. Hugs xx

Thank you all so much, I am taking it one day at a time, and yes been expecting it for awhile but hearing the news just was hard. Right now I am dealing with anger, as the doctor had told us if mom had gotten in when she started having the headaches they could have removed the tumor and she would have been okay..I kept begging her to go get checked, she refused until it got really bad and she started forgetting things...by then it was too late.

I can't believe the doctor said that to you, it serves no purpose to your mum or you. There will be reasons why for your mum too, bear that in mind.
I know it's a difficult time. You will feel anger, guilt, sadness, regret, emptiness, all natural feelings with grief.
It's still very early days. Have moments to yourself and take one day at a time. :hugs:

Thank you all for your support and kind words, today has been the first day I have felt like doing anything. I've been curled up in bed a lot crying and then sleeping. Her birthday is coming up soon, oct 26th, she would have been 68..I miss her so much. hugs to you all.

The first birthday and first Christmas are difficult ones but I will get easier. :hugs:

Lots of hugs for you [emoji8]


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Thank you all for the hugs, oct 26th was hard for me I spent the day crying and missing my mom and even yesterday was hard as she loved halloween.

:hugs:

It takes time to deal with those feelings :hugs:

I dont know how much more I can take, two days ago I got notice from a very good friend's husband, that he is in the hospital fighting for his life, they thought it was pneumonia but doctors now saying they aren't sure. Not responding to any of the normal treatments, can't breathe on his own, a team of specialist are coming in or did come in, I love both of those men to death, they have been more of a family than my own, and tomorrow my dog is going to the vet due to her eyes and and not eating and drinking a lot more water than normal. I am about to hit my breaking point, I can't do another death so soon after having three in 23.

Sending a whole world of hugs.

PK, life hits you like this and the older you get the worse it gets. But it isn't always that way.
They may be a simple explanation for your dog, wait until you see the vet. I know there's the worry.
Big hugs from me too. :hugs:

Blue Thank you. Carn, I know and it sucks, hugs you back hugs both You and Blue, I got an update, M (my friend that is in the hospital ) has improved somewhat, doctor said he isnt out of the woods yet, that it could change, they are running more tests on him tomorrow they still don't know what it is, I wish I could call in Dr. House for M.

So got my dog into the vet, I thought I was just going to get some ointment for her eyes, not just her eyes, but we find out she has an enlarged heart, her kidney levels are elevated. that is why she is hardly eating, and snorting we got meds to give her for ten days and then we'll take her back in on the 22nd of this month to see if she has improved any, if not we may make the choice to have her put down.

PK, a huge hug :bighug1:
You've been through so much and still manage to find more strength when needed. You are amazing!

Bless you PK, you've been through such a lot :hugs: Much love to you xxx

Life is really kicking you at the moment, Tracy. I know from speaking to you recently just how strong you are and how you take on a very large emotional load to help others come through. Just getting through shows great strength and going even further to help others demonstrates even more. It may not feel like it at times but what's inside you keeps you going.

I also remember you have a great partner who will be there for you no matter what. So no matter how tough it gets you won't go through it alone. But I do hope everything gets better and your loved ones get better. :hugs::flowers:

THanks Terry sorry I haven't been on to reply, been tending to a very sick dog who is going to the vet tomorrow and may have to be put down, I'll be surprised if she makes it by morning or the day after. My Friend is out of the hospital and his Pneumonia is almost gone, he is still very weak. I am trying so much Terry to be strong still, I haven't slept much, I really need to start taking care of myself, yes my husband does what he can to help me and be there for me but he can only do so much. It will be a relief when my pup does go, she is 13, this year will be 14. She isn't herself anymore and barely eats.

PK you are amazing! With what you've gone through recently and dealing with. :hugs:

THank you Carn, right now I am a sobbing mess, my girl was put to sleep this morning at nine am pst time.

:bighug1:

Carn thank you it's 2:32 in the morning and I am feeling so alone right now. I have been crying almost nonstop, the past six months have been so hard. I just want to have a break now please please can I have a break from all the death. Please....

I need a hug again, I am a sobbing mess just feeling so alone, and dealing with whatever is going on with me, COVID, Headcold I don't know..I can't smell or taste it's depressing me, I have seven, no wait, make that eight deaths now within a year June 6th 2023 a friend died, June 29th 2023 my mom died, August 2023 another friend died, they took their life, Nov 2023 we had to put my cat down, Jan 19th my dog had to be put down, Feb a friend died, March a friend died, July a friend died. I am exhausted I am dealing with my own personal stuff that I haven't talked about on here or to anyone. I am missing my mom so much right now. I also have this fear that I am going to lose my husband next, every day I ask him how he is feeling, I hear him cough and think something is wrong with him. right now I can hear him in the other room coughing and I am like is he sick now with something? I have this deep fear I am going to wake up and he is going to be gone. I know it's silly to think that, but it just randomly pops into my head. It's like every time I start to get back on track to take care of myself, like exercise, eating right, working on my mental health, something comes up and knocks me back, like with all the death and now me getting sick. I can't do it anymore, I am tired. oh great now my chromebook screen decides to break a hinge, for no reason..it just broke. I give up.

A big hug PK :bighug1:

I know you feel it's all negative at the moment and life can do that. But it's not always going to be like that.
You are here for a reason and you have to remember that.
So hubby is coughing. I cough. Been coughing for decades. Coughing clears the lungs so his body is doing a good job.
You've been through a lot, I know that, I'm not surprised you feel the way you do. And believe me it takes a long while to get over losing your mum.
Take it one day at a time PK :hugs:

Thanks carn if we were in the same room and you were hugging me I would be a sobbing mess all over you. I miss her so much, my mom that is.

If I was in the room with you PK I would be comforting you, so you'll have to do with on here.
It's normal to feel the sadness over your mum and I was worse further down the line. It's also healthy to release your emotions and we mainly do that by having a good sob. It helped me to talk to mum as if she was in the room. Any guilt, any past regrets, your feelings, omg, I'm tearful now and it's been 7 years! Tell her how you are feeling and also tell her how you are going to make your life as joyous as possible, because she would want that, to know you are living your life that she gave you. :hugs:

hugs hugs hugs carn, I think my hubby is getting sick he has been coughing nonstop all day today and last, night. I am going to make him go get a covid test from a clinic or something tomorrow, and not rely on those home ones I took. Thank you so much for your kind words to me.