ONE STEP FORWARD 1 STEP BACK

Hiya ALL,

I am really struggling at the moment. Whenever I seem to be getting somewhere i seem to end up taking one step forward and then one backwards!!

Take for instance 2 nights ago.

We were eating chicken fahitas, i had never had that specific kind of seasoning etc and I had a huge panic attack at the table. I was shaking like a leaf and I was close to tears. My boyfriend noticed as i was a mess and caught on straight away it was the fahitas (as i had point blank refused to eat that kind 2 months ago)
He said i can see with every bite u are taking u are panicking - Don't eat them. I tried to explain I had to eat them or I would never get better. 2 hours it took me to calm down -2 hours!!!!!!

I didn't help I knew he was going out soon after dinner and I phoned my best friend to get her to come round but as soon as I started to speak to her she was telling me how bad a day she had so I didn't bother

Does anyone else feel they are getting better-worse-better-worse??

lucky

Hi Lucky

Yes, I'm really struggling to stay positive too!

I had a really good summer (for me anyway) and did lots of things I haven't felt able to do for the last few years. I've started going clubbing too, and going to different pubs for drinks at the weekend. My general demeanour felt improved too - I was more relaxed than usual, and was really starting to feel quite positive that the "end" of this was round the corner. (Remember I had quite a few years without any symptoms)

However, for the last couple of weeks, I have been experiencing anxiety most of the time.

It is quite mild, just a gentle "fizz", and I'm aware that I am quite tense. It's starting to get me down, because I am feeling drained by it, and not particularly refreshed when I wake up (I've been trying to do 8 hours every night).

I'm trying not to let it get me down, and fight back, so I decided I would put my money where my mouth is, and join the gym. I'm having an assessment tomorrow afternoon, and I'm dreading it! How stupid is that. I can't believe that I am anxious about going to the local leisure centre, having my pulse taken and doing a few steps on the tread mill. Then I've got to meet some friends, and we are setting up a Santas grotto in the meeting room, along with stalls, ready for a christmas coffee morning on Saturday. Can you believe I am anxious about doing that too! And tonight I am going to some friends 3 miles away, to help decorate a gingerbread nativity scene to raffle off on Saturday, and I'm freaking out about that!

My emotions are very mixed up, I could cry, because I feel that I'm slipping, but then I'm angry, because I'm not where I wanted to be by this time this year.

I discussed it with my counsellor, and she said it was ok, and not to worry, very few people get better without having a bit of regression first!

So I decided that I am going to put myself "on hold" at the minute, and not try anything else "new", until I have stabilised myself a bit better. BUT I AM going to continue to do the things I have already achieved, even if they make me feel anxious and quite poorly. I'm also going to do the whole gym thing tomorrow. (Then thats it for new things for a while whilst I get into that).

I think you are doing really well Lucky. Try not to be too hard on yourself. You are still making progress too you silly mare - like you said - two months ago you wouldn't have eaten them. At least now you tried to eat them, so you are moving on. I think your'e just disappointed that you didn't manage to eat a whole one!

Please try not to get too upset about it. And remember, it's a bad time of year for most people with the dark mornings and nights, the cold drab wet days, Xmas looming, false cheer, and being forced to visit people you can't stand, not to mention how physically tiring it all is, and how expensive it can get if you are not careful, and how stress ful that is!!

E-mail me your address (if you want to), and I'll send you something to cheer you up!

Love

Charlie

I've been a member of the gym for months but might go this weekend. I love the gym but every time i start smoking again i stop going. my gym is small and i like it that way. I hope u enjoy it!!

There is something about jogging that is very therapeutic (to me anyway!!

What is your e-mail address as I can't send through this forum as it is a friends e-mail address I have used!!

love
lucky

Hi Lucky

It's lottiep@fsmail.net



Charlie

Hiya charlie and lucky

I think you have just posted spot on how i feel. Im feeling really down at the moment and seem to be having more panic than usual. I too had a great summer and even went abroad for a holiday. (just thinking about it makes me shake now). I cant seem to shake myself out of it or do anything to help myself. My husband is getting cross with me and im getting fed up with myself too.
I have a sneaky feeling it might be the weather and the impending xmas. There are other things im worried about at the mo which isnt helping but at least they are 'real' things that i feel allowed to worry about.

Sarah
xx

Hi All,

I too have been feeling exceptionally anxious lately. Though like you all mentioned I have put it off as the holiday hussle and bussle. Don`t worry Charlie you are not alone, I am definitely no where near where I wanted to be by this time this year. I have not even done "ANY" Christmas decorating yet. I just don`t feel up to it. Any ideas from anyone on how to get into the spirit???? The weather has been so dreary, grey and cold, I think too that might be a factor. It just does`nt feel like Christmas to me, though I have done most of my shopping, but no wrapping or decorating!!!!! Lucky don`t beat yourself up, you`ve definitely moved forward. Like you said two months ago you would not even have attempted to eat those d*** fajitas, but you did eat, so congratulations to you for pushing forward and trying. That is all we can do. Keep up the positive thoughts and actions.

Take care all,

Diana xxx

Just knowing it's not only me makes me feel better. Thanks girls. The weather doesn't help - its just turned 3pm and dark outside already.

Fortunately I have done practically all my Xmas shopping, and am just in the mood to say a**e to anything I've not done yet!

Spent £38 at the Reebok factory shop on gym stuff - so got to go now!!!

I think we should all make a conscious effort not to slip any further down the ladder, and "hibernate" until the better weather!

Sarah - sorry you're feeling like you are - hope the hubby isn't giving you too much of a hard time! It must be frustrating for him that you had seemed so well in the summer, and not you aren't quite as well as you were, but I'm sure him being cross isn't helping your case at all! It's very frustrating when people don't understand!

Diana - sorry you're feeling anxious too! There must be something in the Xmas/weather/time of year thing though, so I suppose that makes it easier. I never worry about worrying about things that are ok to worry about (unexpected big bill and having to put it on my visa for a month), but I worry more when I am worried and don't have anything to worry about, because I shouldn't have any worries!!!!!

Thanks again - I've just about convinced myself it a seasonal thing now I know I'm not the only one - so I'm going to stop worrying about why I'm worrying and just accept it!!!!

Love

Charlie

every one of you ladies that have posted on this topic,have made great progress..so dont forget that!

i read most of the posts,and from afar i can usually tell,who is doing well,who is doing badly,and those who just stay the same,month in ,month out.

as ive said,ALL you ladies,are doing great..i think its down to the horrible weather,and of course xmas.

but its nearly DEC21st...so what? you say,well from that day onwards,it gets lighter,by one minute a day...so JAN21st,it will be 30MINS LIGHTER,THAN NOW.

something to look forward to!...bryan.

Dear All,

The graph to recovery is not a straight line diagnally up - ever - as far as I can tell from me and others.

I'll email you a version .



Meg

Watch your thoughts, they become your words...
Watch your words, they become your actions... Watch your actions, they become your habits... Watch your habits, they become your character... Watch your character, it becomes your destiny...

Hi all

I am having a few mixed days at the moment. Meg came to see me at the weekend and I was so positive about the next steps and I have sat in several traffic jams.

Yesterday, however, I just couldn't be bothered with things. You may have noticed the lack of replies to this forum and I even left some emails un-answered. I struggled into the Chat room last night but even that lost my attention.

I think we all have days like this. I was not panicky or depressed I was just "not myself".

I do still get miserable and I get angry and I do think the weather makes us feel worse.

I drove to work in thick fog on Wednesday and pouring rain today and I was quite drained by the time I got there cos it was stressful.

I also find that I am like one of those wind up toys - I start the week off positively and alive. By Wednesday the lack of sleep gets to me and by Friday I am drained. I then sleep at the weekends and someone winds me up again and off I go.

My problem is definitely sleep related cos I just get more and more tired as the week goes on.

Alex left me last night (I usually leave him and sleep in the spare room). I asked him if I was snoring and he said "no - I just wanted you to get a good nights sleep". Bless him. I still woke up at 5ish and cos I didn't go to bed till 11.30 I was tired. I have tried going to bed early but I just lay there and play my tape.

Anyway, I hope you are all feeling better this evening and try to remain positive. I know it is hard - us panickers have to fight a constant battle to get well and that can be draining.

Chin up and like Bryan said look at how well you are doing.

Love to all

xx

Nicola

Sorry to hear you're not feeling great Nic:(

I think everyone has days where they feel down and cant be bothered with anything - if you werent feeling panicky with it then thats good. You are allowed an off day and you are allowed time off from here if you feel like it!;)

Emily

Hi all

I have been feeling a bit like this too lately. One minute I feel quite positive and think right I can control this and then all of a sudden I feel anxious and panicky and back to the beginning almost again.

I was thinking about this on the way home from work today actually. I was trying to work out if there is anything in particular that I'm doing or not doing that can be causing this. I do think my diet has a part to play in it. For instance last week I ate quite a lot of fast food, chinese etc and I think that caused me to be more anxious. I also lost a night sleep due to my husband staying away from home 1 night and i panicked the whole night..and got roughly 1.5 hours sleep in total. I am a born worrier and find myself thinking about things which may or may not happen every day all day. This causes me to get uptight and anxious and starts the anxiety etc. I found myself breathing weird quite a lot last week to, such as holding my breath or breathing shallowly. By saturday last week I was a crying mess.. I got out of bed and had some breakfast, I did feel slightly irritable and then all of a sudden I couldnt stop myself crying. I think i just needed to let some stress out or something.

This week has been slightly better..I dont feel quite on edge but yesterday was not a good day.

I think I will keep a diary and see if I am right about what makes mine worse. I guess this is what happens with anxiety..you will have good and bad days but eventually there will be more good than bad.

take care

sadie

Hello All,

It`s good I suppose to know that I am not the only one feeling this way. I do believe it is weather and holiday related, with all the rushing around and so forth, gets us tired and irritated, which leads to the anxiety and restlessness. I hope you all do better in the coming days. Like Bryan said we all have something to look forward to. Thanks Bryan for the encouragement, I too am feeling a little at sorts with all of the holiday rush, weather and also my 18 year old daughter. This year has been so trying for us, actually she will be 18 on Tuesday December 16th. We have had our problems in the past, but compared to this past year they were nothing. All of the emotional strain and losing that for lack of a better word "CONTROL" of what she does and when she does it is very hard. She is being "VERY,VERY" rebellious rightn now. I suppose that is normal at that age, as I now I was too, but being on the receiving end of that is very hard to swallow. As I am posting I do not even know where she is at this moment, as she has been gone overnight till the present time. I am feeling very hurt, afraid, angry you name it I am feeling it. Every emotion possible running through me like a water fall. I know this is`nt related totally to this topic, but felt like I needed to share, as I feel at home with all of you, and feel like you all are family. Sorry for the rambling on, but just needed to vent my feelings before I burst into a ball of flames!!!! Thanks for listening.

Love,

Diana xxx

Hi Diana

Thats what we are all here for, to listen to our friends and offer either just a friendly ear or some advice.

I havent had any kids yet so I dont really know exactly how you are feeling but I do know how much anxiety and stress can make even the smallest of things seem enormous. Try and stay calm and relaxed as getting yourself all worked up will just make matters worse when your daughter does come home.

That being said, i do think your daughter should have at least gave you a call just to let you know where she is..just to stop you worrying unnecessarily. Have you both have a fallen out last night?

sadie

Hiya Sadie,

Thanks for the response. Actually no we have`nt had a falling out, she works after school and got off about 5:00 pm, and never called or anything. Although I know she is talking to a young man that I really do not approve of, and I found out today she was at his house for like 7 hours after work and then had someone pick her up from there. Now no one seems to know where she has gone :(. I too think she should of at least called, as we have had this discussion before, about just calling to let me know where she is. I guess all I can do is sit back and wait it out. Hopefully she will come home soon. tTanks again for listening.

Love,

Diana xxx

hi diana,

try not to feel too down,as they can be very selfish at this age,once they go out of the door,they dont seem to give a toss about anyone,or anything!

my youngest is studying boys,at durham,she comes home most weekends,brings her dirty washing,eats everything,is out friday nite,and saterdays,with her friends,she always says dad,i could only afoord a single ticket,so i give her the rest,she then leaves with a big bag of freezer food...its the joys of having a teenager,mmmm..bryan.

Hiya Diana

I can remember when I turned 18 my mum yelling at me '18 IS NOT THE MAJIC NUMBER!!!!!!' I was a bit of a goodie goodie before then but met my boyfriend (now husband) and got myself a life..lol
She scared me to death yelling that at me but it did the trick. I always told her where i was and still had a curfew till i was 21!!!
love Sarah
xx

Thanks for the replies guys,

I remember when i was a teenager-turning back my watch a couple of hours and looking all innocent when I was really 2 hours late!!!

Oh well i suppose i'll get my comeuppance with my boys!!(though secretly hoping they'll give their dad all the abuse - mummys boys at all that!!)

Seriously though teenagers will grow out of there spells and hope your don't have to long to wait. We've all been there

love
lucky

I remember having such a good time, that I simply forgot what the time was! Then it was too late to call! I was reminded about this for the next four weeks though - as my dad used to ground me for doing it!!!!

Last weekend, I didn't come home on Friday night. I have been stopping out a lot during the summer, and my mum has never bothered, but this weekend Fred the ex Dentist was not there. So she phoned, and left an answer phone message that she hoped I wasn't dead in a ditch, or had I been home, and then got up and left the house early?

I felt quite guilty, and we had a "discussion" about it when I got home. (I am 33, so feel that I have the right to stop out, although I now I should be considerate towards my mum)

Basically, I had a few drinks with my friend Jan, then we went upstairs and had some tea and toast. Her son had stopped in and was watching a film, so we joined him, because it was only about midnight.

We all fell asleep on the sofa, and woke up at 4am. It was cold and icy outside, and I was only half awake, so I accepted Jans offer of a duvet and got my head back down.

I pointed out to my mum that she really wouldn't have appreciated a call at 4am, and if she could only learn to use her mobile, we would be sorted. I could have sent her a text when I woke up at 4am, and she could have checked her messages in the morning and known exactly where I was, and who I was with! Simple. Apart from the fact she can't turn her phone on, and doesn't know how to read her text (and yes, I have shown her, and written it down three million times. She is just not sufficiently interested to learn how!)

I didn't realise how worrying the whole issue of time is until the first time my mum and dad went away and left me in charge. My little sis went out, didn't leave a note (pre mobile days) and didn't come back till the next day. I remember giving her a bit of a kicking, cos I had had a very flitful nights sleep worrying about her!!!

In the end its all down to respect, and stopping in the middle of having a good time to take time out to make that call! Unfortunately, teenagers are really selfish, and usually don't think!

Just be ready to gloat in a few years time, when she is phoning you to moan HER daughter didn't come home or bother phoning!

Love

Charlie

Hi All,

Thanks soooo much for the posts. They really do make me feel better. I know that this is the time in life for this because I was a bit of a runner myself at that age. I just don`t understand totally, because I do talk with her, and tell her to just please give me a call to let me know where he is and who she is with. Yet still she disobeys. It has been 3 days and no show of her, just (2) very brief, short phone calls. Logically I know this is something she probably needs to do to get out of her system, but emotionally it is very hard to deal with. I really appreciate all of you posting on this topic, as it makes me feel like I have this great big supportive family, that will help me through this. I know what you all mean about them being selfish, she is sooo very selfish right now. It hurts to feel that she cares for no one else but herself. I know I just need to accept this, but it is sooo very hard when you are on the receiving end. I guess now I know what my dad went through raising me. Boy do I have a new found respect for my dad now. I find myself feeling so guilty for the things I had done back in my adolescent years. She(my daughter) has called (2) times like I said literally just to say hi, but will not tell me where she is. Oh how I do miss her, but I guess all parents do when the babes grow wings and leave the nest. I suppose we are never really prepared for the overwhelming emotions that go along with the children leaving home. I just wish it had been on better terms. Thank all of you again for posting and listening, as I know I have just been dragging on with this subject, but it is what is making me feel anxious right now. Oh by the way Charlie thank you sooo much for the tape, I just received it today, and will try it this evening as I really need to "CHILL" right now.

Take care all,

Diana xoxoxo

Diana

I do think she is being selfish though - not nice to put you through all this stress and worry.

Perhaps you could just say that to her and that it causes you anxiety etc. May be worth a try.

Glad we all helped you feel better though.

Nicola

Dear All

Well as you know, I had a bad week last week, and spent most of it being anxious for no reason, so I booked myself in for an induction at the gym on Friday afternoon. (Exercise yourself out of it)

I left work at lunchtime, and went to Sainsburys to buy some stuff for the dinner party I was cooking for my mum on Saturday.

I left Sainsburys at 1 and realised I had an hour to get home, changed and to the gym. Loads of time, thought I, I'll just pop through the car wash on my way out.

So in I goes (£4.99 Ultimate Wash my a**e). It's a new car wash, and has big doors that close once you are in it. Scary, so I decided to fill in my New Year New Me book, as I was getting it up to date, I realised that the week long anxiety had finally lifted! I was no longer panicky for no reason.

Hurrah I thought, I can look forward to going to the gym, I didn't feel sick anymore, and the butterflies had gone from my tummy, I couldn't feel my heart beating, in fact, I was feeling GOOD!

So there I am, filling in my book, and the car wash is going on. So I sort out my finances, and the car wash is still going on, so I get my book out and read a few pages, and the car wash is still going on. Then it registers. I look at the clock. I have been in the car wash for 23 minutes. The car wash has malfunctioned. I am trapped in a large perspex box, at the mercy of it's soapy rollers. WHY DOES IT ALWAYS HAPPEN TO ME??? I must have been a serial killer in a past life, and now I'm paying the price.

The car wash was still doing something - blowing the heat down, and into the very large puddle of water in front of the car, and creating huge tsunami waves which were lapping the side of the car wash (ok they weren't that big), and the emergency stop button and the escape door were also infront of the car, and behind the tsunami.

All of a sudden I realised I was starting to have a panic attack. I was stuck in the car wash. I had a car full of shopping that needed unloading, and I had to get home and changed, and I was going to be late from the gym.

I started doing my breathing exercises, and tried not to think about the water, cos by this time I needed the toilet too. Getting out of the car wasn't an option, and anyway what would happen if it suddenly decided to wash and roll and I was out of the car. Despite starting to loose the plot, I couldn't face attracting attention to myself by beeping the horn, cos then everybody would know I'd freaked out, and I couldn't bear that, so I started driving backwards and fowards, backwards and fowards, feeling more like a distrubed patient by the minute. Eventually, it flipped something in the car wash memory, and it stopped blowing hot air everywhere, the rollers moved to the side and the DOOR OPENED. I floored it and got out of there before it changed its mind, not even stopping to take the french stick wrapper off the back wiper.

I made it home, with enough time to throw the chicken and other perishables in the fridge, and threw my gym stuff on, and fled the house. I got to the gym 5 minutes late, but the bloke just laughed. He said he knew it must be genuine, cos nobody would make up being stuck in the car wash.

Anyway, to cut a long story short, the gym was ok. My body fat and BMI were loads lower than I thought, it was really quiet and there were no steroid induced wierdy muscle men leering, so it didn't matter that I looked like a beetroot, was dripping wet and stunk like a skunk.

Apart from not being able to walk down the stairs from the gym (what sort of idiot puts a gym on the second floor), I felt great.

I slept like a baby on Friday night, had a good day on Saturday, and made it back to the gym on Sunday, despite having the hangover from hell. It even made me feel a bit better. I have done a deal with Judy, and she is going to muck my horse out on a Wednesday night, so I can go to the gym on Wednesday and at the weekend.

Thanks for all your encouragement guys. I'm really hoping that this is going to be the start of a new and better year for me!

Oh Charlie,

So Well done for managing to right the car wash, cope with it all and still continue with your day which wa sgoing to be a challenging one anyway !!

You are so nearly there - now it's just confidence building and that will come through repetition!!

Congratulations



Meg

Watch your thoughts, they become your words...
Watch your words, they become your actions... Watch your actions, they become your habits... Watch your habits, they become your character... Watch your character, it becomes your destiny...

Dear Meg

Well I'm glad you think so.

Looks like the Vitamin B Complex, the gym, and this forum, and all the supportive people on it could just be my salvation.

(Still want to be a guinea pig for you though Meg, and also improve my visualisation techniques!!!! So don't forget to post them when they are ready!)

Love

Charlie

Charlie,

OH MY GOD!!!!

I think you done great!!!

Trapped in a car wash is my worst nightmare - I can't even use them. i think even 'normal' people would struggle greatly with that one. and the fact you went to the gym afterwards shows how great you really are doing. Alot of people (and I include so called 'normal' people would have said 'to h##l with it' and went for a stiff drink or 5!!

Proud of you Charlie

love
lucky

Well Done Charlie - the gym thing sounds like it is really going to work.

As for the carwash I got anxious just reading that so you coped brilliantly!

Emily

Thanks so much for your encouragement guys!

The trick will be this Friday, when I am going to the gym for my weights induction - dare I try a trip to Sainsburys first!

Hope it doesn't turn anybody against car washes though - I've been using this one for years and never had a problem with it before!

Love

Charlie

Charlie,

I've always hated car washes anyway. Prefer to give mine a wee spit and polish. (Well not me personally i prefer my other half does it!!!)

PS the weights at the gym are fantastic

Love
lucky

wow,charlie,

ime speachless,for once...great stuff..bryan.

Bryan

You speechless? Bet you still had a chuckle though didn't you????

In hindsight it was quite amusing, Dawn roared her head off when I told her at work today.

And obviously I had a lovely sense of double achievement, I survived (and in an obviously masochistic way) torture in the gym, and ordeal by car wash!

Just so glad I didn't have to get out - kept remembering the pain on Stevie O's face when he went through the car wash on Jackass wearing only his leopard skin posing pouch. (Not that I have a posing pouch obviously, but I'm sure car wash fully clothed would be very cold and painful to say the least)

Charlie

hi charlie,

strange enough,i didnt laugh,i dont have a car these days,but when i did,i never felt comfortable in car washes..had to do it,cos of keeping up with the neighbours,and there posh cars....bryan.

Hiya Charlie,

Good for you, I could not imagine being stuck in a d**n car wash. I would probably go right into full panic mode, make an ass of myself and then vow to never return to that car wash "EVER"!!!!. LOL.... :) Kudos to you, you did brilliant. Keep up the good work.

Take care dear,

Love Diana xxx

Hiya All,

Thanks again for all of the posts of encouragement about the troubles I have been experiencing with my daughter. All of your posts have made me feel alot better, I don`t feel so secluded now. I know these are the years for this but boy is it tough!!! Thanks again all. Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to all of you.

Love Diana xxx

Charlie

You are so brave. I drove into one of those car washes once and never realised that it shut the doors infront and behind.

Panic - oh god yes I did. I was on the phone to Alex saying "get me out of here" !! Well what could he do realistically.

I tried one once more and I had a work colleague with me and I was panicking inside but pretending I was ok. I then started feeling that overwhelming sense of panic and I just said "oh I don't feel well and need to get out of here". He just chatted away and didn't realise I was panicking. Once outside I was so relieved!!

Nowadays I can't go in them with my car cos I have a luggage rack (PHEW) so I have managed to escape that situation for over a year now

You did so well though - well done.

Glad the gym was good too - the exercise definitely helps my panic (and the diet) so I hope you carry on doing it.

Well done to you


Nicola

Diana

How did you find the tape? I hope it worked, not sure if American cassettes are the same as UK (know videos aren't)?

Hope your prodigal daughter has returned safe and sound too. Really think you should sit her down and try and have an adult conversation with her (if she'll let you), about how worried you've been, and requesting that if she is going to go missing again, she at least phones you every day, and tells you where she is, and makes sure you have a way of contacting her if there is an emergency. Explain that you don't want to take away her freedom, but her being so inconsiderate in not letting you know where she is is ruining YOUR freedom, and that you can't relax when she is AWOL.

Hope you are feeling better today

Love

Charlie

Charlie,

Thank you sooo much for your support. The tape is great, thank you again it really has helped this past week. Yes my "Little Darling" arrived home yesterday evening in fact, of course yesterday was the long awaited 18th birthday. I guess as expected (for her) atleast the heavens did`nt open up and shed his beams down especially upon her was quite disappointing for her. We did have a long heart to heart talk, well atleast I did, she seemed very distracted and anxious to end the conversation, but I did not allow her to get up and leave until I was finished speaking. I am feeling quite better today, thank you for asking. I`m not sure however that she is not going to go "AWOL" on me again, but atleast I know now I can get through it. You all have been so supportive and have offered so much good advice. I honestly would have been quite worse off than I was if it were`nt that I could get on here with you all and vent my concerns, anger and hurt. You all have been soooo wonderful!!!!! Thanks again dear, I wish you and yours a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.

Lot`s of Love and Hugs go out to you


Love Diana xoxoxo

Diana

Great news that she came back at last.

Let's hope she will be a bit more supportive in the future but you never know eh?

Hope you feel better about it all now



Nicola

Hiya Nicola,

Thank you for the support. I do hope she will be a bit more considerate than she has been in the past (2) years or so. Like you said though, who knows?????? I do feel quite better about things today. Atleast I have let her know how I feel and what is expected of her, so now if she goes I know I`ve done everything I can possibly do to get her on the right track. Not that it will hurt any less, but I know I will "SURVIVE"!!!! with friends like all of you and the whole hearted support I get here, I can do anything. Thanks for all of the guidance and support, I really appreciate it.

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!!!

Love Diana xoxoxo

Dear Diana

well done for coping so well! It must have been very hard. I'm so glad you are feeling better, I'm sure being able to talk to her must have made a difference (even if she wasn't listening to any of it - I'm sure deep down it was getting to her).

At the end of the day she is 18, and her own person, and there is a limit to what you can do, however this doesn't make it any easier or any less painful for you - but at least you can rest easy, knowing you have DONE YOUR BEST!

You make sure you take good care of yourself, and find time to "chill" each day.

Love

Charlie

Hiya Charlie,

Thanks for the words of encouragement. I am sure going to make sure I make time for me, especially now. I hope what I talked to her about is lingering somewhere along in the back of her mind. So that she can call on it when needed. Like you said though, she is 18 and her own person. I guess we all live and learn. I know that this is the cycle of life, I suppose I just was`nt prepared for what 18 had to offer "ME" LOL............. But with all of everyone`s support here, I can conquer anything I put my mind to. It is very hard, but I know I will survive!!!!! Thanks again dear soooooo much. I can not put into words the happiness I get from all of you. This forum and the people here are a God send.

Thanks again!!!!!

Love,

Diana xoxoxo