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Carnation’s New Thread - Anxiety, setbacks and tips
I’ve started a new thread.
After 7 years, my old thread has lost it’s way from its original purpose.
I ask any posters to be sensitive with posting any serious health matters, keep it friendly and helpful and share anything that might be of help to all those that struggle with anxiety.
just recently I have found Holding the thumb a great calming tool when feeling panicky. It might be why babies suck their thumbs. Anxiety can be very debilitating and it’s all very well acting normal, and it is acting most of the time but sometimes well need a bit of extra help in getting through the day.
’Live as if you are already healed’ - this attitude helps tremendously.
’Its not what happens to you, it’s how you deal with it ‘
Anxiety tends to promote overthinking, fuelling negative thoughts, causing bodily symptoms.
Its all about living in the moment, not catastrophising, keeping reality, telling the mind ‘you’ve got this’.
I will end this post by recommending ‘Claire Weekes’ as a good reference guide to recovering.
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Re: Carnation’s New Thread - Anxiety, setbacks and tips
Living as if you are already healed is a great idea; it requires a bit of bravery but I think it's probably the most effective strategy I've encountered. Example: I postponed an afternoon out a few times because I was afraid of what would happen if I got scary sensations and panicked. My husband was starting to get annoyed and I was feeling guilty, so last weekend we just did it. Nothing awful happened when we took an alternative route to the restaurant that involved going up a steep hill, and I didn't die in the cinema because the film was longer than an hour and a half. It was fun!
It can be hard when you're in the depths, but faking it til you make it works so well; instead of convincing your brain that everything is scary and dangerous, you're showing it that everything is okay and even fun.
Oh, and Carnation? Thanks for all the help these past few months.
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Re: Carnation’s New Thread - Anxiety, setbacks and tips
Hi Carnation and Blue....
I agree with the Claire Weeks books and would highly recommend them to anyone suffering any kinda anxiety, she covers them all...
im having a set back at the moment, so out come her books again to try and get me on the right path again, like you said Carnation about catastrophising every little ache, pain sensation etc I’m my own worst enemy for doing that.
Blue Well done on going out, I know that fear well and I know how hard it is to push on through it but sometimes you surprise yourself just what you can do, but you have to know your limits, if it’s a really bad day then maybe sometimes it’s best to rest for a bit, talk to someone who understands, get their reassurance and a different view point and then bite the bullet and get out there....
I came across a site many years ago, you may have heard of it....Anxiety centre.com/symptoms and oh my the list of symptoms is huge, also the guy that runs it, tells his 12 year battle with anxiety, you’ll find that if you look for Jim Folk Story...it’s a bit like Nicola’s story on here....
I found it very interesting and helpful when I’m going through a bad time and when you keep thinking to yourself this symptom can’t be anxiety....well yes it can, you’d be surprised...
This Guy had a huge struggle, but as overcome it and reading through it I can see a lot of Claire Weekes training which goes to show how well ahead of her time she was....
I hope this helps xxx
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Re: Carnation’s New Thread - Anxiety, setbacks and tips
You are so welcome BlueIris x
I know exactly what you mean...
When you think the event or trip might trigger you and putting off or cancelling. Pre - anxiety is the worst.
Something that's new, out of the way, being out longer, the thought of possible embarrassment of having a reaction.
And the strange thing is, with all those thoughts and fear, nothing ever happens. You might still have the residue of the pre anxiety, but it does wear off. And sometimes you actually have a good time. If only it wasn't for that pre-anxiety stuff.
I read that visualisation is good for this. By closing your eyes and imagining you are actually doing it with ease actually helps. I suppose if we can imagine a fuelled anxiety situation then we can also imagine an un-fuelled anxiety situation.
Our partners can be so patient but they sometimes get that 'oh, come on' attitude. I have to admit that sometimes gets me going. Like you say BlueIris, you feel a bit guilty.
Oh, the times I haven't wanted to do stuff and actually enjoyed it. I then think 'why on earth did I get myself in to such a tizz?'.
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Re: Carnation’s New Thread - Anxiety, setbacks and tips
YNWA,
Claire Weekes is like the Godmother of Anxiety knowledge and understanding. If you only read one book, it's got to be hers.
Setbacks come. Claire Weekes covers this.
I think understanding why and letting that phase pass is the only way forward. I know it's frustrating when you've made such progress but it's a bit like a boiling kettle, if it doesn't switch off, it's eventually going to boil over.
Nothing to be scared about, just uncomfortable for a while. You've been there before and survived it and you'll do it again. x
It never surprises me how many symptoms Anxiety can produce. And the weird thing is, we are actually producing them. I had a list of about 30+ symptoms which were all foreign to me when I first approached my doctor with 'what's wrong with me? ". Scared like a rabbit in the headlights. Straight away she said " Anxiety ". I couldn't believe that Anxiety could do all of those things to me and how powerful it was. I went on the Internet and found this forum and there it was in black and white, other people feeling exactly the same as me. I felt relief because I wasn't going mad after all.
Thanks for the link YNWA. I like to read other people's stories. There's a few on this Site too if anyone is interested.
I loved Ruby Wax's idea of the frazzled cafe meet.
I expect when I go out there are others like myself but its not plain to see. We all do a good job of faking how we feel in public. It's nothing to be ashamed of, we are sensitive people that feel everything and that makes us very empathetic which is special. x
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Re: Carnation’s New Thread - Anxiety, setbacks and tips
I think that’s a very good concept….Living life like you’re already healed. Live it like other people. Just do it. I have a Nike T Shirt that has that logo on it. I like to wear it as inspiration. The more you ruminate and think about doing stuff the more you end up not doing it. Overthinking and worrying, which really serve no purpose whatsoever. Just do it.
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Re: Carnation’s New Thread - Anxiety, setbacks and tips
100% agree about claire weeks books, helped me out enormously when at my worst . i did give them to charity years later but ended up buying them again to help me when i can feel them starting again x
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Re: Carnation’s New Thread - Anxiety, setbacks and tips
I like the idea of a slogan T shirt darksky, being the right wording of course. I've got a top that says 'sunny days ahead' and I get so many compliments when I wear it.
Do you remember the 'RELAX' t. Shirts in the 80s, cut out sleeves, black and white? There were lots of slogan t shirts around but not so many now. Nike must sell a lot of their t shirts with 'Just Do it', a clever move by them.
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Re: Carnation’s New Thread - Anxiety, setbacks and tips
Juliejay, you can't part with a Claire Weekes book, it's like an anxiety sufferers Bible. Great you got them back again. :yesyes:
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Re: Carnation’s New Thread - Anxiety, setbacks and tips
I also love Claire Weeks!
And I like the mantra of living like you're already healed. I do this when trying to expand my physical activities. I've had physical set backs and sometimes feel like my body is broken. One thing that helps tremendously is just pushing myself a bit and seeing that I'm fine. This works just the same for the mind!
Another thing I've been working on lately is reversing my thinking. The anxious mind has such a super power to see the future (or at least we think it does!) and imagine every possible outcome. Instead of doing that, I've been consciously working on using my brains incredible power to consider every possible scenario to look backward and find all the times I've felt exactly this way and the fact that it was never something serious. It's like reverse catastrophizing... decatastrophizing.
With the bar exam coming up I'm in full on panic mode about every single thing that could go wrong between now and then, so I've really been working on this one!
For your entertainment, the most deranged "what if" I had recently came the other night when I was finally bringing down what my husband affectionately calls my "mug garden." That is - the wide collection of half-drank mugs of coffee and tea I leave all over the second floor to grow new ecosystems of mold before I finally crack and bring them all down. This garden was particularly bad since I've been so distracted lately. When I dumped out one particular mug, the irrational fear hit me that somehow the mold inside the mug would float up into the air, I'd breath it in, and then I'd get some wild lung infection that would stop me from taking the test (and then of course kill me). In the past, I would have started googling things about this and panicking. Instead, I sat down and replayed through my head how many times through my life I have carried moldy mugs through my house and dumped them in my sink... this house, every apartment I've ever lived in... I took my mind all the way back to my college dorm with my roommate who would relentlessly make snide (though utterly justified!) comments about the science experiments growing in my dishes. Never, in that decades-long history of being lazy and kind of gross did I ever contract a lung infection from breathing in the fruits of my mug gardens. So, I had a little laugh to myself, ran the dishwasher on sanitize mode, and called it a day.
And so, this is what I've been trying to do each time a new worry pops up. Palpitations? I've had 'em 1000s of time. Dizzy? What else is new?
For each thing, I don't just think - this has happened before, I actually take the time to visualize previous times, how I felt, and how I got through it. One day I'll probably come to a symptom I've never had before and - hey, in that case, I can do what a non-anxious person does and go to the doctor!
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Re: Carnation’s New Thread - Anxiety, setbacks and tips
Can you get Claire Weekes T-shirts? :D
Carnation, the 'Relax' T-shirts would have been the 'Frankie Goes to Hollywood' reference?
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Re: Carnation’s New Thread - Anxiety, setbacks and tips
Hi Erin
Taking time to think to visualise previous times and realising that nothing bad came from it, is a good way to quickly realise that you are safe and it's anxiety up to its tricks.
Yes, no googling should be another one to remember.
It will always give you the worse case scenario and probably not even a true diagnosis.
We've all done it in desperation.
I enjoyed your mug garden story Erin. Lol.
I spent my youth living in a bedroom with mould all around the windows. And now living by the sea, it's very damp and a good basis for potential mould.
If it was that lethal we'd be dropping like flies.
Just think back to the Victorian era with no heating and bare walls. I bet it never crossed their minds about mould inhalation. Anyway, they were too busy inventing stuff and working to feed the family.
Thinking back, I was terrible for drinking cold tea. I'm not talking about an hour later but 3 or 4 hours later. Lol.
I like to push myself a bit. Mentally and physically.
Get to know what your capabilities are gradually.
But we are definitely stronger than we realise.
We do have power over anxiety if only we realised it.
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Re: Carnation’s New Thread - Anxiety, setbacks and tips
I’ve got a t-shirt that says....it’s ok....I’m ok....everything is ok....
I enjoyed reading about your mug garden Erin, I never did it but my kids did both with cups, glasses and dishes, half the kitchen cupboards where upstairs in their bedrooms, usually decorating the window sills with the green mould growing beautifully....
When you think about it though, how many times have you accidentally eaten mouldy bread, apart from the taste being yuk it never did anyone any harm and let’s face it, what is penicillin made from....Mould...so there you are Erin permission to grow your own antibiotics.....lol xx
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Re: Carnation’s New Thread - Anxiety, setbacks and tips
Oh god yes, accidentally eaten mouldy bread loads of times. :wacko:
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Re: Carnation’s New Thread - Anxiety, setbacks and tips
Yes, that's right fishman. Frankie Goes to Hollywood.
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Re: Carnation’s New Thread - Anxiety, setbacks and tips
Get more creative!
It's proven that creativity eases anxiety.
Find time in the day to do something creative.
A hobby, craft, painting, drawing, playing an instrument, making something, baking, gardening, designing, styling, sewing, knitting, embroidery, woodwork, growing vegetables, herbs, plants and flowers.
It's great exercise for your hands too.
The hands hold connections to the rest of the body so it's a win, win, win!
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Re: Carnation’s New Thread - Anxiety, setbacks and tips
Couldn't agree more! Crafting is basically my non-work life, and cookery calms me down like nothing else.
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Re: Carnation’s New Thread - Anxiety, setbacks and tips
Don't let those things go BlueIris.
You also have a talent, not to be wasted. x
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Re: Carnation’s New Thread - Anxiety, setbacks and tips
Currently beading up an octopus, Carn :)
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Re: Carnation’s New Thread - Anxiety, setbacks and tips
I was going to join the old thread so great to see this new one!
I've had a major setback. I had a panic attack recently and now feel myself slipping.
I started with panic attacks over 20 years ago and they eventually tailed off. It's like I've forgotten everything about them now and, in some ways, it feels I'm starting again.
My anxiety is in my head these days, the uneasy feeling - on the very edge of panic.
I know if I get an illogical thought - like "I should have eaten by now. Oh no. I'm going to have low blood sugar and feel weird" I instantly feel it come on, and it lingers even after I've eaten.
I also find I get air hunger a lot, and then I don't have the anxiety but get skipped beats. If I don't have the air hunger I have the anxiety.
I feel like I'm trapped.
As I'm typing this I feel strange dull chest pain - just randomly come on. It's all so strange.
Thinking through my thoughts helps - my own CBT. Doing that a lot more.
Not sure if anybody can relate? It's always calming to know that somebody else understands.
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Re: Carnation’s New Thread - Anxiety, setbacks and tips
Absolutely, Jayke, yes. I had several years mostly HA-free, then these past few months I've backslid horribly. I think - I hope - I'm getting back to where I was, but it's a frightening place to be.
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Re: Carnation’s New Thread - Anxiety, setbacks and tips
Quote:
Currently beading up an octopus, Carn
That sounds so weird BlueIris.
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Re: Carnation’s New Thread - Anxiety, setbacks and tips
Will post a photo when I'm done, I fell in love with the pattern when I saw it.
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Re: Carnation’s New Thread - Anxiety, setbacks and tips
Hello jayke
It's good to feel some comfort being around people that have the same feelings.
Claire Weekes mentions setbacks in her book.
The uneasy feeling is normally down to being over sensitised and that can take time.
To quote the time would not be realistic because we all different and have different circumstances.
But it is sign to maybe change your lifestyle a bit.
The thing is when we feel ok we tend to forget the self care and the stuff that keeps us grounded and peaceful.
Life becomes hectic and there never seems to be any extra time. But as little as ten minutes here and there throughout the day can make all the difference.
Don't get despondent because setbacks are not permanent and what goes back has to come forward at some point. What goes up, comes down, you get my drift.
We feel things in our chest due to the way we feel. The same for the stomach and head. So by doing things that give you relaxation in turn will relax the body.
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Re: Carnation’s New Thread - Anxiety, setbacks and tips
That would be great to see it BlueIris :yesyes:
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Re: Carnation’s New Thread - Anxiety, setbacks and tips
I’m also having a bit of a blip. Some HA, but also a healthy dose of everyday challenges (life, career, finances, etc) feeling really heavy. Having some struggles with Chisum, which is making me feel icky. Had a scary (somewhat) local event the other day that played with my feelings of being unsafe again. No need to bore you all with too many details. :)
I’m enjoying all of the tips. For me, I just like to get outside if I can and focus heavily on nature and what is going on around me. Listen to the birds. Notice the pattern of the moss. That kind of thing. I also like to switch my brain into sort of a “stream of consciousness” mode and just pay attention to what is happening/what I’m feeling in the present second.
Hope everyone has a lovely weekend.
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Re: Carnation’s New Thread - Anxiety, setbacks and tips
Poppy.. sorry to read your having a blip, join the club, I think a few people here are too at the moment, but it will pass, try not to be impatient with time, that’s one of my faults, I think I’ve done this and I’ve done that so why am I not feeling good yet, it doesn’t work like that, as Claire weekes says let time pass and if necessary let more time pass.
Aww what’s wrong with Chisum, is he poorly....
I was telling Carnation a while ago when I go for a walk I look at all the gardens and give them a score out of 10, pretending I’m judging a garden competition....keeps me occupied.....
Hope you have a lovely weekend too xxx
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Re: Carnation’s New Thread - Anxiety, setbacks and tips
I would like to join the blip club too please! I don’t really have anything helpful to add other than sympathy and company down the anxiety rabbit hole. It’s hard and it’s scary, but the really bad bits do pass.
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Re: Carnation’s New Thread - Anxiety, setbacks and tips
Quote:
Originally Posted by
YoullNeverWalkAlone
Poppy.. sorry to read your having a blip, join the club, I think a few people here are too at the moment, but it will pass, try not to be impatient with time, that’s one of my faults, I think I’ve done this and I’ve done that so why am I not feeling good yet, it doesn’t work like that, as Claire weekes says let time pass and if necessary let more time pass.
Aww what’s wrong with Chisum, is he poorly....
I was telling Carnation a while ago when I go for a walk I look at all the gardens and give them a score out of 10, pretending I’m judging a garden competition....keeps me occupied.....
Hope you have a lovely weekend too xxx
My garden can’t be seen between the mole hills. What score would that get, i wonder?
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Re: Carnation’s New Thread - Anxiety, setbacks and tips
Thanks, YNWA. I really do love the winter, but maybe it’s the weather. I have struggled a lot with my friends/family all seemingly moving forward with their lives and I just feel stuck. And everything is getting so expensive, I think I will need to make a career/job change soon and don’t know where to begin.
Chisum is thankfully pretty healthy, but he’s had some ear infections so I have to clean his ears 1-2 times a week. He’s so good for it, but hates it, and will lower his head and slink away when he knows it’s time or even if I say the words “ears” or “clean”. He also knows I keep the bottle in my medicine cabinet, so even if I reach in there for something else he slinks away and hides and it’s so disheartening. He also had a couple of indoor accidents (out of character for him, but I think his own anxiety is raised) and I’ve gotten frustrated over that and then I feel guilty for being frustrated because I know I should do better to help him be successful. So just lots of icky feelings.
Judging gardens sounds fun. Everyone around me I think would get pretty low scores. :roflmao:But when I walk around my neighborhood, I do like to look at the colors of houses and curb appeal, trying to get my own ideas. Unfortunately there are a lot of students where I live, so many boring apartments and homes that need a lot of love. But there are some really pretty gems too.
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Re: Carnation’s New Thread - Anxiety, setbacks and tips
I think I saw your blip thread, Jojo. I’m sorry you’re having your own struggles but I guess we are all in good company. :flowers:
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Re: Carnation’s New Thread - Anxiety, setbacks and tips
Poppy,
Good to hear from you.
There does seem to be something in the air.
I've said before that you cope so well but sometimes you just have to accept a bad patch and let it pass in its own time. I know it's frustrating, uncomfortable and to a certain extent affects the things you want to do.
But use this time for the stuff you can do. More grounding stuff.
I walked out to my garden this morning and felt very ungrounded but after a while of looking at new shoots growing, the daffodils and sitting in the sun, I started to feel better. I know you like your walks, and you have your hobbies. Don't think about the future for now, decisions will come naturally. For now, just be.
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Re: Carnation’s New Thread - Anxiety, setbacks and tips
YNWA, I think we can be impatient sometimes with this time passing. I know I do. I have a day or two of rest and think I should be much better by the third day.
It's very frustrating, but we'll get there.
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Re: Carnation’s New Thread - Anxiety, setbacks and tips
Jojo, you are certainly in the right place.
I certainly have sympathy for anyone feeling the way I do at the moment. Like I said to poppy, you have to find comfort in the things that make you more calm. Plenty of rest, if you can, and remind yourself this is just a bad patch.
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Re: Carnation’s New Thread - Anxiety, setbacks and tips
Finding comfort, and just being. Very wise words
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Re: Carnation’s New Thread - Anxiety, setbacks and tips
Quote:
Originally Posted by
YoullNeverWalkAlone
so there you are Erin permission to grow your own antibiotics.....lol xx
I should have kept them - I'm sure I've accidentally found a cure to antibiotic-resistant bacteria up there!
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Re: Carnation’s New Thread - Anxiety, setbacks and tips
Not having a blip as such but unfortunately due to having twisted my left knee (after having problems with my right knee which is on the mend now), the things that I do physically to help keep me feeling well are being limited. So it's good to come on here and remind myself of all the other things which help.
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Re: Carnation’s New Thread - Anxiety, setbacks and tips
Hi catkins
Have you tried knee supports? Also massaging them when sitting.
I was a one for scrambling about on my knees when younger and my mum said, "you'll pay for that later in life". I do get issues with my knees from time to time but I still go down on my knees. I did buy a pair of knee pads for working in the garden and it's one of the best things I've bought. I can't crouch or bend for too long so these enable to work on something with no agony.
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Re: Carnation’s New Thread - Anxiety, setbacks and tips
Your first mistake...
Before we've opened the front door, you have tensed yourself like a violin string screwed up tightly. You thought, "oh, my goodness what's going to happen now?" if one plucks a violin string, it responds by vibrating, whereas a slack string does not. By tensing your body you made of it an instrument on which your fears can play a very painful tune, and you did this before you even put a foot outside your door. This is your first mistake.
Instead of tensing your body in anticipation of what might happen, let it go, slacken it, release it. The worst that can happen to you out there in the street, in the shop, is you let yourself become frightened. I know how severe that fright can be, but if you release as much tension as possible and are prepared to accept what happens, prepared to surrender yourself to it, it won't be quite so overwhelming. Surrender, accept. Slacken those strings. Take a slow brrayh, let it out gently. - Claire Weekes.
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Re: Carnation’s New Thread - Anxiety, setbacks and tips
I'm wearing a knee support Carnation and massaging with ibuprofen gel. I've also got some exercises from the physio dept at work. I'm just impatient I guess. Again it's working on accepting that this is the way things are just at the moment and it will pass.