I'm constantly living in fear and I can't cope anymore

I've suffered for so long now. Over 16 years almost and I am getting worse, especially this year. I paid private for a mental health evaluation and turns out I have Depression, severe Health Anxiety, and severe OCD (several types), which is fear of being contaminated with poison. Example if I pick up something, like washing powder then I eat something after, I think I forgot to wash my hands and then I fear that I've poisoned myself and then I go insane. I pace up and down, I make myself vomit..I am literally a mess. Another fear is choking on food, despite never choked on food before, I would faf about with meat and fish to ensure there's no bones in them and when I 'feel' like I swallowed a sharp bone, I immediately lose my appetite and throw my food in the bin and start to become irrational. Another fear is taking medication and cardiophobia. I am not sure where my OCD tenancies has stemmed from it probably came from health anxiety but I am literally beginning to give up. I constantly have heartburn, tiredness and sadness because of my symptoms and irrational thoughts. I am crying almost every day. I can't function properly, my child is neglected because I am always over thinking. My family think I'm crazy for thinking these ridiculous thoughts and my GP, I could hear it in her voice that I am wasting her time she just told me to meditate. I've tried all of those things!

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Originally Posted by Anxietysufferer92

I've suffered for so long now. Over 16 years almost and I am getting worse, especially this year. I paid private for a mental health evaluation and turns out I have Depression, severe Health Anxiety, and severe OCD (several types), which is fear of being contaminated with poison. Example if I pick up something, like washing powder then I eat something after, I think I forgot to wash my hands and then I fear that I've poisoned myself and then I go insane. I pace up and down, I make myself vomit..I am literally a mess. Another fear is choking on food, despite never choked on food before, I would faf about with meat and fish to ensure there's no bones in them and when I 'feel' like I swallowed a sharp bone, I immediately lose my appetite and throw my food in the bin and start to become irrational. Another fear is taking medication and cardiophobia. I am not sure where my OCD tenancies has stemmed from it probably came from health anxiety but I am literally beginning to give up. I constantly have heartburn, tiredness and sadness because of my symptoms and irrational thoughts. I am crying almost every day. I can't function properly, my child is neglected because I am always over thinking. My family think I'm crazy for thinking these ridiculous thoughts and my GP, I could hear it in her voice that I am wasting her time she just told me to meditate. I've tried all of those things!

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Hi,

I know how you feel, you are not alone. I have heartburn all day most days and for me it’s the main driver I believe of my low mood and OCD. I have become terrified of cancer, symptoms, swallowing, reflux and obsess over medical reports and seek out tests. Then they say it’s anxiety despite it all feeling very real and that there is something going on and no one can seem to convince me otherwise.

I started to cut stressors from my life, my job was dull, boring and meaningless so I quit last night. Small amount of regret and but on the whole I think it’s for the best to get my head in a better place.

I would agree that setting time aside to practice being mindful will help you see your irrational thoughts more and learn how to interact with them. Remember, it’s the way you react to your thoughts that drive how you feel, control the thoughts and you’ll have more control on how you feel.

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Originally Posted by Anxietysufferer92

My family think I'm crazy for thinking these ridiculous thoughts and my GP, I could hear it in her voice that I am wasting her time she just told me to meditate. I've tried all of those things!

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Change your GP. You have severe OCD and it's going to take more than staring at a teabag to sort this out.

You're not alone. I have OCD, (checking, intrusive thoughts) also symmetry which might overlap with autism, but I do know that I get very agitated if things are not symmetrical. Actually, it is more OCD on thinking about it..:unsure:

Anyway, start by changing your GP because this one obviously doesn't have a clue about OCD.

All the best.

Anxietysufferer92, the heading of your post reminisces with so many sufferers, so never feel you are alone in your suffering.
Life can be overwhelming, especially for people like us.
And Nora's suggestion of changing your GP is certainly a good start to having the support you need to understand the way you feel.
Don't try to tackle all your issues at once. And as fear seems to be at the base of all your issues it is the fear that needs to be overcome bit by bit.
Most importantly, don't be so hard on yourself.
Maybe start with the food issues and avoid all meals that could set you off so you become more confident with your eating. It doesn't matter if you eat different to the rest of the family if what you eat gives you more calm.
That's where I would start.
Take one step at a time. You are a survivor and you can get through this. x

I feel like your post could have been written by me. I feel the same things you do. Unfortunately, I have not found a way to deal with these issues yet, but I wanted you to know you are not alone.

Going through this right now...getting harder and harder to function each day. I’m in a constant state of worry and think nothing but doom and gloom. Things I used to enjoy no longer bring me pleasure. I’m struggling with my workload and motivation at my job, also because I am still working at home and likely will be for some time. Having all kinds of weird sensations and symptoms in my body and am worried about cancer, heart issues and a number of other things. I don’t trust anyone or anything outside of a handful of people and I believe things will never get better.

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Originally Posted by AuntWithIssues87

Going through this right now...getting harder and harder to function each day. I’m in a constant state of worry and think nothing but doom and gloom. Things I used to enjoy no longer bring me pleasure. I’m struggling with my workload and motivation at my job, also because I am still working at home and likely will be for some time. Having all kinds of weird sensations and symptoms in my body and am worried about cancer, heart issues and a number of other things. I don’t trust anyone or anything outside of a handful of people and I believe things will never get better.

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That sounds so hard :( it drains the life out of you doesn't it! I am finding myself getting weaker and weaker at work and just cannot be bothered anymore. I was a motivated and very busy individual but I am losing the will to live these days.. As dramatic as it sounds. I hope you are feeling a bit better now? At the moment with all that's going on, I just cannot see an end to it.

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Originally Posted by Anxietysufferer92

That sounds so hard :( it drains the life out of you doesn't it! I am finding myself getting weaker and weaker at work and just cannot be bothered anymore. I was a motivated and very busy individual but I am losing the will to live these days.. As dramatic as it sounds. I hope you are feeling a bit better now? At the moment with all that's going on, I just cannot see an end to it.

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This could be my life. Exactly here too. It’s so upsetting that despite therapy and meds I’m having a relapse of sorts. I’m terrified. I can’t eat or function. I’m just so exhausted by it all. Their are times I get weary and completely irrational. Currently I’m having one of these spells and can’t see a way out. Please know you’re not alone.

I am at my worse right now. My husband is even thinking about ringing the mental health hospital to see what they can do because I am seriously losing the plot guys. As my previous threads, I have been having terrible symptoms ie diarrhoea, nausea, and most of all, weight loss. Put it down to a bug because I was getting extremely nauseous days before I started feeling ill. I am losing a shit load of weight in a short amount of time but at the same time, I am so bloody anxious I am not eating properly and I am in an active job. My stomach has been painful, very grumbly, gassy and awful runny poo. I have been doctors to get my stools checked for any issues as to why I am having diarrhoea and losing weight so quickly, plus blood tests. In the meantime, I have a terrible feeling that it is all linked with the fact I had a random bleed last year and now I am thinking I have ovarian cancer which has spread. I have got my ultrasound booked for tomorrow which I paid privately for. I am absolutely terrified. I am pacing around the house, tapping on things and snapping at everything. I really can't cope at all. What if this is bad news :'( I can't accept that I am going to end up leaving my family soon. Also worth mentioning, a few weeks ago I had to go A&E as I was having palpitations and getting out of breath, but my ecg was fine. My bloods was also normal.. But that doesn't rule out cancer does it? Chest xray also clear.. For now. So I guess I can take comfort that whatever cancer I have, hasn't spread anywhere upwards. My right leg is bloody hurting me as well.

Sorry you're spiraling so badly AS92. Your last several threads are all related to this. Tests have not raised any red flags and they would have if it were serious so.... :shrug: Hope you feel better soon!

FMP

You anxiety levels are out of control AS92, a visit to A and E and yet a good ecg are a pretty good indication that you are in the grips of deep fear and distress.....so I'm not surprised you are feeling so ill ! You really are jumping to catastrophic outcomes, with no evidence at all and the mind is a pretty powerful thing with creating HA symptoms, connections and worst case scenarios. I've just read back your last thread, where your doctor wasn't worried about the one random bleed event and certainly all your other tests and checks listed above have had a good outcome - so there is no need to be panicking to the level you are, really. So, heres the thing, you have to go and have your ultrasound, and what they find they find, IF anything at all. Even people who DO get diagnosed with serious medical conditions have to face them, get them treated and get on with their lives.

It sounds to me as if, as you are having a private scan, you haven't been referred by your GP ? So, this is a test you have chosen to have yourself and therefore you are making a choice to either clear your mind from fears about the ovarian cancer, or see if anything is there at all that could have caused a one-off bleed ? You can take control of this situation, no amount of your pacing, being hysterical or moody will affect tomorrow or the outcome so take some time to sit down and talk with your husband properly, this level of anxiety alone will cause you to feel ill. This time tomorrow it will all be done and dusted, you just need to retain as much strength as you can until its over. DO some deep breathing, do anything to distract yourself. You are at your worst right now, but the worst doesn't last and won't last - as quickly as the worst came, the worst can go. You just need to believe that.

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Originally Posted by Carys

You anxiety levels are out of control AS92, a visit to A and E and yet a good ecg are a pretty good indication that you are in the grips of deep fear and distress.....so I'm not surprised you are feeling so ill ! You really are jumping to catastrophic outcomes, with no evidence at all and the mind is a pretty powerful thing with creating HA symptoms, connections and worst case scenarios. I've just read back your last thread, where your doctor wasn't worried about the one random bleed event and certainly all your other tests and checks listed above have had a good outcome - so there is no need to be panicking to the level you are, really. So, heres the thing, you have to go and have your ultrasound, and what they find they find, IF anything at all. Even people who DO get diagnosed with serious medical conditions have to face them, get them treated and get on with their lives.

It sounds to me as if, as you are having a private scan, you haven't been referred by your GP ? So, this is a test you have chosen to have yourself and therefore you are making a choice to either clear your mind from fears about the ovarian cancer, or see if anything is there at all that could have caused a one-off bleed ? You can take control of this situation, no amount of your pacing, being hysterical or moody will affect tomorrow or the outcome so take some time to sit down and talk with your husband properly, this level of anxiety alone will cause you to feel ill. This time tomorrow it will all be done and dusted, you just need to retain as much strength as you can until its over. DO some deep breathing, do anything to distract yourself. You are at your worst right now, but the worst doesn't last and won't last - as quickly as the worst came, the worst can go. You just need to believe that.

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I know they're completely out of control at the moment. I have fallen in a huge, dark hole and I just cannot find my way out of it. I know that whatever the outcome ends up being, me pacing up and down like a caged tiger is not going to change the outcome. Yes I paid privately, because the gp will not put 2x2 together ie with my digestive issues. I need to be certain that it has nothing to do with that. I will not be reassured 100% but I will feel much better knowing that my ultrasound is clear because right now that is the only thing terrifying me. I am so scared. Haven't slept properly all night and feel very jittery again. Afraid of death, but how is this living? This is absolute BEEPING torture and I've had enough of it.

The problem is that a private scan won't solve anything, although goodness knows I can understand the desire for the pain to go away. Unless you start working on your irrational thought patterns, though, you'll only find yourself back in the exact same place as soon as your body does something else weird.

The symptoms aren't the problem - I had weird bowel issues for decades, was too afraid to see a doctor and eventually they went away. The problem is the anxiety, and while working on it isn't necessarily going to provide the same immediate relief it'll make the pain and fear so much easier to manage in the long run.

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Originally Posted by BlueIris

The problem is that a private scan won't solve anything, although goodness knows I can understand the desire for the pain to go away. Unless you start working on your irrational thought patterns, though, you'll only find yourself back in the exact same place as soon as your body does something else weird.

The symptoms aren't the problem - I had weird bowel issues for decades, was too afraid to see a doctor and eventually they went away. The problem is the anxiety, and while working on it isn't necessarily going to provide the same immediate relief it'll make the pain and fear so much easier to manage in the long run.

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I know but my issue at the moment as well is losing weight. I am not trying to lose weight but it is dropping off me. Why is that? Had anxiety going on 13 years and I've never lost weight with it.

People's anxiety patterns change over the years. You've said yourself that you're not eating properly and you're in an active job. Of course the weight is going to fall off.

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Originally Posted by BlueIris

People's anxiety patterns change over the years. You've said yourself that you're not eating properly and you're in an active job. Of course the weight is going to fall off.

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That's what I keep telling myself. I am so nervous about this scan but it has to be done. I will keep you all updated.. I'm praying so much for a good outcome and for them to say all is well in that department. Not out the woods but at least it is one less thing for me to worry about as ATM that's all I am worrying about. I can't believe what a state I am in. I feel so guilty on my husband he just went out crying saying that I am upsetting him. I don't mean to upset anyone :(

We all know you don't mean to. I actually went on SSRIs after seeing how unhappy my HA was making my husband. I'm annoying him a bit at the moment with my current worries, but they're starting to pass over now.

I think there are elements of great awareness in your posts AS92, I can sense a lot of myself (some years ago) in how you describe your behaviour and thought processes. I feel you are close to finding a way through this, and close to processing it in a positive way in my opinion.

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Afraid of death, but how is this living?

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Absolutely ! So, lets think of your worst case scenario here - not something I do to many with HA, challenge this way, and no it doesn't mean I think you are about to pop this mortal coil. Today they find something wrong. What then ? You see, I had 'something found wrong' (very wrong) 5 years ago, and when you are faced with your fear, what do you think you do ? What happens after that, because that isn't the end of the story ? (HA is rooted in a fear of dying, being ill then dying, but of course nobody gets out of living alive anyway at some point in the far future.) I was like you, distressed, terrified, and the thought occurred then that accepting that 'things happen' and sometimes 'things need treating', if not now, then at some point in my life - because that is what will happen to most living human beings. Losing your fear of 'something being wrong' is the key stopping HA long-term. Today you may come out and have a clean bill of health, thats great of course everyone wants that, but then your fear will be just as bad if not worse next time you have a symptom or anomally. Reassurance, which is the mainstay of this forum, doesn't work forever because nobody gets through life without something found by the medics. So, I repeat......

What happens after that, because that isn't the end of the story ? What happens to those thousands and thousands of people each year who have a screening scan and it finds something ? What are those medics and hospital departments all there for ?

Sorry you are feeling such despair and fear. When I'm in a spiral I turn to books to try and escape the scary thoughts. I'm reading How to stop worrying and start living by Dale Carnegie and although it was written many years ago, I'm finding it full of good advice. I bought the ebook so I can read it on my phone if I'm not at home and need to calm down. The other thing I find helpful is to listen to a fiction audiobook. Because I have to pay attention to the story it stops me focussing on my thoughts.


Something else you could try is not fighting or judging yourself for your feelings. This week I've had dreadful anxiety about my daughter's health and was feeling a huge amount of despair. Then I heard a podcast where it was suggested that when you are full of fear and anxiety you should set a timer for 5 minutes and let your thoughts and feelings go. I got in my car and drove to a quiet area and then let myself lose it. I cried and spoke all my fears out loud. I sat there sobbing and saying all the darkest things I'd been worrying about. Then, after about 3 minutes I realised I had nothing left. I'd said and cried over everything. Suddenly I felt exhausted, but a lot calmer. I switched off the alarm, went home and had a sleep. I felt a lot better when I woke up.


All the very best to you x

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Originally Posted by Carys

I think there are elements of great awareness in your posts AS92, I can sense a lot of myself (some years ago) in how you describe your behaviour and thought processes. I feel you are close to finding a way through this, and close to processing it in a positive way in my opinion.



Absolutely ! So, lets think of your worst case scenario here - not something I do to many with HA, challenge this way, and no it doesn't mean I think you are about to pop this mortal coil. Today they find something wrong. What then ? You see, I had 'something found wrong' (very wrong) 5 years ago, and when you are faced with your fear, what do you think you do ? What happens after that, because that isn't the end of the story ? (HA is rooted in a fear of dying, being ill then dying, but of course nobody gets out of living alive anyway at some point in the far future.) I was like you, distressed, terrified, and the thought occurred then that accepting that 'things happen' and sometimes 'things need treating', if not now, then at some point in my life - because that is what will happen to most living human beings. Losing your fear of 'something being wrong' is the key stopping HA long-term. Today you may come out and have a clean bill of health, thats great of course everyone wants that, but then your fear will be just as bad if not worse next time you have a symptom or anomally. Reassurance, which is the mainstay of this forum, doesn't work forever because nobody gets through life without something found by the medics. So, I repeat......

What happens after that, because that isn't the end of the story ? What happens to those thousands and thousands of people each year who have a screening scan and it finds something ? What are those medics and hospital departments all there for ?

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What a wonderfully insightful post, Carys. You've been there, done it and come out the other side all the stronger.

UPDATE: (£100 later!)

Had the scan. I drank enough water so thankfully didn't need to have the probe up there lol results are:
Uterus is anteverted, no abnormalities seen and demonstrates a normal endometrium
Both ovaries appear normal in size, shape, no growths or masses seen
No pelvic free fluid seen
All normal and no concerns

Phew.. So I can definitely rule out ovarian cancer metastasis.. Which was my worry in the first place! I feel like a right twonk saying that. I am feeling a lot less lighter. I am not out of the woods, mind. I have had other tests done to rule out my intestinal issues today at the GP surgery too. Stool samples and blood tests have been taken already to see if there's any infection there.

I think it will be a Chinese takeaway tonight to start putting some weight back on.

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Originally Posted by carriewriting

Sorry you are feeling such despair and fear. When I'm in a spiral I turn to books to try and escape the scary thoughts. I'm reading How to stop worrying and start living by Dale Carnegie and although it was written many years ago, I'm finding it full of good advice. I bought the ebook so I can read it on my phone if I'm not at home and need to calm down. The other thing I find helpful is to listen to a fiction audiobook. Because I have to pay attention to the story it stops me focussing on my thoughts.


Something else you could try is not fighting or judging yourself for your feelings. This week I've had dreadful anxiety about my daughter's health and was feeling a huge amount of despair. Then I heard a podcast where it was suggested that when you are full of fear and anxiety you should set a timer for 5 minutes and let your thoughts and feelings go. I got in my car and drove to a quiet area and then let myself lose it. I cried and spoke all my fears out loud. I sat there sobbing and saying all the darkest things I'd been worrying about. Then, after about 3 minutes I realised I had nothing left. I'd said and cried over everything. Suddenly I felt exhausted, but a lot calmer. I switched off the alarm, went home and had a sleep. I felt a lot better when I woke up.


All the very best to you x

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So sorry to hear about that. I understand how you feel. I cried my eyes out last night because I couldn't cope anymore. When it comes to our children, our fears are something else. The amount of times I've been terrified when my little one is ill, I remember one time he kept coming out in bruises and my anxiety went into absolute overdrive. I hope you are on the mend now.. Absolute torture living and fighting with our head when it comes to anxiety x

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Originally Posted by Anxietysufferer92

UPDATE: (£100 later!)

Had the scan. I drank enough water so thankfully didn't need to have the probe up there lol results are:
Uterus is anteverted, no abnormalities seen and demonstrates a normal endometrium
Both ovaries appear normal in size, shape, no growths or masses seen
No pelvic free fluid seen
All normal and no concerns

Phew.. So I can definitely rule out ovarian cancer metastasis.. Which was my worry in the first place! I feel like a right twonk saying that. I am feeling a lot less lighter. I am not out of the woods, mind. I have had other tests done to rule out my intestinal issues today at the GP surgery too. Stool samples and blood tests have been taken already to see if there's any infection there.

I think it will be a Chinese takeaway tonight to start putting some weight back on.

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Well worth £100 which is pretty cheap for all that reassuring info. I've just paid double that amount for my guinea pig's inflammatory bladder investigations!:D

Very pleased for you and enjoy your meal tonight!

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Originally Posted by Anxietysufferer92

So sorry to hear about that. I understand how you feel. I cried my eyes out last night because I couldn't cope anymore. When it comes to our children, our fears are something else. The amount of times I've been terrified when my little one is ill, I remember one time he kept coming out in bruises and my anxiety went into absolute overdrive. I hope you are on the mend now.. Absolute torture living and fighting with our head when it comes to anxiety x

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Like Carrie says..I think tears and letting it all out is far better than internalising it all and paying the price with worsening physical symptoms

I’m glad you received good results. I used to be one of the people on here who advised against getting tested. I don’t advise that anymore. I also used to be opposed to giving reassurance. I’ve changed my mind on that one as well. I actually feel guilty about how dismissive I have been of some people’s symptoms on here in the past. When I first came to this board there was a member called Meg. I’m sure Nicole and some of the current members who were around then remember her. Meg was very knowledgeable ( I think she was a nurse) and she was great at giving people reassurance. I read many of her posts before I ever posted on here. For example, if I was worried about my breathing I would search for explanations she had given members on breathing issues and I almost always felt better after reading what she had to say. Later there was an old doctor around and he was even more knowledgeable than Meg and just as good at explaining symptoms. I’ve had HA for many years and had many years of therapy. I’ve had long periods where I was recovered. I manage my HA very well now. I never Google symptoms and I try to ignore any symptoms I get. The answer to overcoming HA lies in the latter. I’m getting better at ignoring symptoms. Good luck with your other results.

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Originally Posted by Scaredtoo

This could be my life. Exactly here too. It’s so upsetting that despite therapy and meds I’m having a relapse of sorts. I’m terrified. I can’t eat or function. I’m just so exhausted by it all. Their are times I get weary and completely irrational. Currently I’m having one of these spells and can’t see a way out. Please know you’re not alone.

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Unfortunately therapy has never worked for me. Maybe I need to give it another go but when it gets to that point... I just don't know what else to do. I'm currently unable to eat a thing due to this awful anxiety. My body just won't take it but I HAVE to gain weight again as I've lost so much of it :(

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Originally Posted by pulisa

Well worth £100 which is pretty cheap for all that reassuring info. I've just paid double that amount for my guinea pig's inflammatory bladder investigations!:D

Very pleased for you and enjoy your meal tonight!

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Ahhhh guinea pigs though! I used to have 2! Always wanted more but they squeak too much lol hope your piggie is feeling better now. Thank you I did enjoy some of it but couldn't eat as much as I wanted :(

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Originally Posted by swajj

I’m glad you received good results. I used to be one of the people on here who advised against getting tested. I don’t advise that anymore. I also used to be opposed to giving reassurance. I’ve changed my mind on that one as well. I actually feel guilty about how dismissive I have been of some people’s symptoms on here in the past. When I first came to this board there was a member called Meg. I’m sure Nicole and some of the current members who were around then remember her. Meg was very knowledgeable ( I think she was a nurse) and she was great at giving people reassurance. I read many of her posts before I ever posted on here. For example, if I was worried about my breathing I would search for explanations she had given members on breathing issues and I almost always felt better after reading what she had to say. Later there was an old doctor around and he was even more knowledgeable than Meg and just as good at explaining symptoms. I’ve had HA for many years and had many years of therapy. I’ve had long periods where I was recovered. I manage my HA very well now. I never Google symptoms and I try to ignore any symptoms I get. The answer to overcoming HA lies in the latter. I’m getting better at ignoring symptoms. Good luck with your other results.

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Yes I was also one of those people as well...but I know how hard it is. Its so hard and the reason I did advise against it is because the anticipation is far worse than the actual procedure and that's what frightened me the most. Makes sense and puts it all into perspective when someone else explains the symptoms, but it is shortlived.. Its like the circuit in our brain just gets switched off a few minutes afterwards. Its so annoying and very distressing sometimes. Thank you very much i hope it goes OK with the results. I will keep you all posted. Thank you all x

Glad you got the results you wanted.
After years of suffering and not doing much about it, my digestive system finally revolted (literally) and I suffer on off with reflux, heartburn, gastritis etc. It’s also very common to affect your bowels etc too, like it is with you. I also lost weight- about 3 stone, and couldn’t believe it was because I wasn’t eating, I wish I could have enjoyed that weight loss more [emoji3].


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

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Originally Posted by Anxietysufferer92

Unfortunately therapy has never worked for me. Maybe I need to give it another go but when it gets to that point... I just don't know what else to do. I'm currently unable to eat a thing due to this awful anxiety. My body just won't take it but I HAVE to gain weight again as I've lost so much of it :(

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I've said this on one of your other threads but based on your recent thread/post history, it's quite apparent you're pretty deep in a rabbit hole :weep: It may be prudent at this point to look into some real life help. Hope you feel better soon.

Positive thoughts

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Originally Posted by Anxietysufferer92

Unfortunately therapy has never worked for me. Maybe I need to give it another go but when it gets to that point... I just don't know what else to do. I'm currently unable to eat a thing due to this awful anxiety. My body just won't take it but I HAVE to gain weight again as I've lost so much of it :(

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I would definitely recommend giving therapy another go. I was seeing a very good psychologist for a few years, but just recently we both came to the conclusion that I needed something more specific, someone different, so...maybe the therapists you've worked with in the past weren't quite right, maybe you need someone more specialized?

Regarding the food, can you supplement with any of those nutrition drinks like Boost (I think?) that provide a good amount of calories in liquid form, so no thoughts of choking?

Hi

This is just a courtesy reply to let you know that your thread was merged with another of your threads.

Please when posting on similar topics add it onto your previous post rather than starting a new one.

It is nothing personal it is just to make it easier for people to follow your story and to give you advice as a whole.