Originally Posted by
Pamplemousse
Have you ever seen CPR being performed in a hospital setting, Vee? It's nothing like it is on the telly - it's brutal, it's violent. When you've seen your loved ones limbs flailing around like a rag doll being stamped upon and found yourself screaming and being dragged bodily from ICU by your brother and a nurse, it damages you deeply and on occasion, that image comes back. It's the last image in her life I have.
Am I f****d up? You bet. The worst bit is that I consider myself to blame for it, just as I hold myself responsible for my father's death some 30 years ago.