And so it's been a month since I started taking my citalopram again.

I think some of the anxiety side of things are going down. But very, very slowly. I wouldn't say I feel depressed at all, just anxious, which I suppose in turn makes me feel hopeless, doomed, cursed, etc, and again in turn sad.

It's odd, though. I've never had a huge problem with anxiety. Not until this year. I would get some panic attacks. Started the first time I went on a plane when I was 13 and then, until this year, the only thing that would ever set them off again would be the thought of being way up high, or in a plane.

And then this year, a few months ago, it just all changed. Now I'm asking myself all sorts of questions. What ifs, I guess. Questioning everything I know. Questioning what's real, what's not. Asking myself if I have certain mental conditions, like my uncle who's a schizophrenic.

Things like that just set me off the deep end. Plagued me. I would happily go to sleep for an escape from that torment. And then I'd wake up. Within minutes the questions would be back in my head.

Well I guess this past week has been a little better. I've been waking up happy, smiling, laughing, joking, and so forth. But even still I will still, on a daily basis, have some surge of what if thinking that'll lead me to anxiety. It won't last nearly as long and I will feel better eventually. I guess it's not as hopeless as it once seemed so I'm very happy with that.

I sincerely hope this process of recovery continues. I want to get back to the old me so freaking bad but as where I stand right now, I'm definitely better off.

Great news and can certainly relate to your progress!

Totally relate to this. It's trying to distract yourself which is so tough.

I had an anxiety free day for the first time in a LOOOONG time yesterday. This is a tremendous landmark for me. :D

:yesyes:

its back. really bad. REALLY bad right now. my face is so hot. I feel really weird.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Ikzai

its back. really bad. REALLY bad right now. my face is so hot. I feel really weird.

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Have you pulled through ok, pal?

Oh yeah. Sorry. I did. I'm totally fine right now, actually. Thank you for asking. :3