DATING

my anxitey about the fear of getting an ilness is really making me depressed, ill have ups and downs throughout the day, one miniute i can distract myself from the negative thoughts and i feel good but somtimes its dosnt work and i go back to my what ifs and i get depressed and i dont want to do anything i just want to lie down and do nothing and just get down on life, anyways my mom and a friend of mine are telling me i need a boyfriend, im 21 years old and i have never relly been in a relationship since i was 16 (which didnt go very well lol) so i dont know if this will solve my problomes, but my mom and my friend say that i am just going through this because i am lonley, it sounds sort of silly yet i am considering, does anyone have any opinions on this, do you think it might help get me out of this rut?

I found that having a boyfriend is almost like a band aid, it is a really temporary fix and when it all ends it ends up making you feel alot worse - this is how I have gotten so bad. You need to build up a good network of trusted friends and let that take away your loneliness, you need to be able to cope with it all without relying too much on one person as if they go away it really hurts and makes things worse. It also makes your relationship with them very difficult as they would be aware of how dependant you are.

These are just my thoughts though, I could be completly wrong. I have waited until I am feeling much better in myself through taking medication and counselling before I even considered dating anyone.

thanks for the reply, i dont know i have been in the dumps for like two weeks now ive never been like this i guess i was just looking for a quick fix

Im definately lonely deep down and that is one of the reasons why Im depressed. I think you should take it slow. My therapist always said to not rush things, take your time, the old saying 'walk before you can run'. Anyway Id reccomend trying it out but dont put all your hopes on this course of action. As mentioned by other previous posts Id agree it's probably best to have many people who you can talk to, as this will probably not only spread the load, but also make you feel more secure and safe if one person perhaps dissapears or something goes wrong.

Hope that helped? :)

having a boyfriend doesn't make everything better. Your problems will still be there. Sometimes I think, would it be easier being single?! its not always a case of the grass is greener on the other side. Just take your time, when you meet someone it will happen at the right time, no need to rush these things. xxxxx

I don't think having a relationship is the answer,you have to be right with yourself before you can even entertain it really.I am single and likely will be for a while as relationships have been the cause of my anxiety.Two weeks is not too long to be down hun,you can get yourself through this.
Ali xx