Spiraling From Rabies Anxiety
This happened two days ago but I'm still spiraling from it roughly 48 hours later.
For context, rabies has been a major trigger for my anxiety for about a year now and I've had several 'freak out and spiral for weeks' episodes within that time. It seems like every time I notice an abrasion that I don't remember getting, my mind immediately goes to a mouse, a bat, a rat, or any other small thing that could have bitten without me knowing. I'm so sick of it because it literally pulls me out of whatever groove my life is in at that point.
Earlier this week I noticed this (https://ibb.co/VVyqf8c) abrasion on my toe and was able to stop myself before spiraling with some logical reasoning. Fast-forward to the other day and my housemate found a mouse in our hallway and my brain immediately called back to the above abrasion. Again, I tried to reason myself out of it by saying that 'mice typically don't carry the disease,' 'it isn't that aggressive,' 'etc' but the damage had already been done. What made it worse was that the mouse didn't appear totally normal to me and seemed to have difficulty walking which really caused a spiral.
It got to the point where I trapped it and called a public health office to see what I should do. After explaining everything the person on the phone informed me that 'there has never been a mouse with rabies recorded in my state' (new jersey), 'something that small never survives the attack,' and that no action was necessary and I was essentially fine. While this made me feel better for a bit, my OCD wasn't convinced and as I write this I'm still totally out of it. If it was just the mouse it wouldn't be this bad, if it was just the abrasion (which I keep trying to convince my brain is not a bite) it wouldn't be this bad, and if the mouse was acting normal it wouldn't be bad, but everything together is freaking me out.
While I think I should take the public health department's advice and take no action from here, I'm completely terrified and really don't know what to do. I sent the above image to a doctor friend in the family who said he didn't think it looked like a bite and was more of a scrape, but I am still really not feeling safe.
Re: Spiraling From Rabies Anxiety
That doesn’t look like any mouse/rat bite I’ve ever had. It looks more of a scrape or blood blister to me as well.
If you’ve already sent this to a doctor and they also said it wasn’t a bite, there’s a really good chance that an Internet forum full of random strangers won’t be able to reassure you either :roflmao: I do understand the fear, and that the mind rarely acts rationally when you’re stuck in an HA spiral. But for me, the key has been learning to pull myself out of that spiral without seeking reassurance. Not saying I’m perfect, at all. There are times I’ll come on here and not necessarily post, but just read others posts - and help where I can. For some reason that helps take the focus off whatever I’m feeling with myself, and directs it elsewhere - and when I’m done, I find that I’ve spent a good amount of time not thinking about my own “symptoms” - which tells me they’re likely a product of my anxiety.
Re: Spiraling From Rabies Anxiety
Quote:
Originally Posted by
justinc2288
This happened two days ago but I'm still spiraling from it roughly 48 hours later.
For context, rabies has been a major trigger for my anxiety for about a year now and I've had several 'freak out and spiral for weeks' episodes within that time. It seems like every time I notice an abrasion that I don't remember getting, my mind immediately goes to a mouse, a bat, a rat, or any other small thing that could have bitten without me knowing. I'm so sick of it because it literally pulls me out of whatever groove my life is in at that point.
Earlier this week I noticed this (https://ibb.co/VVyqf8c) abrasion on my toe and was able to stop myself before spiraling with some logical reasoning. Fast-forward to the other day and my housemate found a mouse in our hallway and my brain immediately called back to the above abrasion. Again, I tried to reason myself out of it by saying that 'mice typically don't carry the disease,' 'it isn't that aggressive,' 'etc' but the damage had already been done. What made it worse was that the mouse didn't appear totally normal to me and seemed to have difficulty walking which really caused a spiral.
It got to the point where I trapped it and called a public health office to see what I should do. After explaining everything the person on the phone informed me that 'there has never been a mouse with rabies recorded in my state' (new jersey), 'something that small never survives the attack,' and that no action was necessary and I was essentially fine. While this made me feel better for a bit, my OCD wasn't convinced and as I write this I'm still totally out of it. If it was just the mouse it wouldn't be this bad, if it was just the abrasion (which I keep trying to convince my brain is not a bite) it wouldn't be this bad, and if the mouse was acting normal it wouldn't be bad, but everything together is freaking me out.
While I think I should take the public health department's advice and take no action from here, I'm completely terrified and really don't know what to do. I sent the above image to a doctor friend in the family who said he didn't think it looked like a bite and was more of a scrape, but I am still really not feeling safe.
I know this feeling all too well and it always manages to crop up when life is going well! I once got so bad I searched every corner of my house with a torch to ensure there were no sick bats anywhere!
I know I can't convince you that everything is fine, but as somebody who worked with animals a lot through my life, I'd be inclined to be comforted by the public health person who gave you the advice. Mice are so tiny and frail that they indeed would be extremely unlikely to survive any kind of attack. Anything that would attacka mouse and simultaneously carry the scary disease would most definitely kill it with a bite.
Another thing, if in the infinitely unlikely event that the mouse was still alive, and infected with the "R", it would have died incredibly quickly anyway from its injuries. It wouldn't be lingering in the hallway a couple of days later, still alert. It most likely got bopped around by a bored cat (they are notorious for giving rodents random slaps and then leaving them to die). It could be old, generally injured, or got trapped and malnourished/dehydrated, all of which would make it lethargic and have difficulty walking.
If you really can't get it out of your head, and you still have the mouse, take it to a vet who can monitor it/tell you if its behaviour is actually abnormal. It would show very distinct characteristics if it had the disease you're worried about. Having trouble walking wouldn't be the only sign.
Also, the mark on your toe looks nothing like a rodent bite. It looks more like you cut or bruised it and blood pooled under the surface. Not in any way bite like!
