tired tired tired tired tired of it all, need hugs

im just so tired of this year, it seems as though it just keeps getting worse and worse, not only in general, but in my own personal life as well. because of the pandemic, my anxiety's gotten much worse and mixed with the muscle issues in my neck that have become chronic, it's made it very hard to properly function. my depression is through the roof, i dont think i've ever been this low in my life. im unbelievably tired of worrying about my mom or dad getting sick, my mom was having a coughing fit (she's not sick dont worry) in her room and it made me almost break down into tears because i thought she might've caught COVID...

i have a doctors appt on the 16th as well, and im terrified that the docs arent going to know what to do about my muscle issues in my neck, and just send me away with muscle relaxers instead of looking into why and what's going on. im also terrified of catching COVID in the office and possibly spreading it to my parents.... im tired of just WORRYING over everything. the unknown is one of my greatest fears and i keep staring into it everyday. i don't know what to do anymore, i would give literally anything in order for my life to go back to normal and for me to feel good again. i miss feeling good, i miss feeling carefree, i miss being HAPPY. i feel like crying at the moment because im just so TIRED, and i need something to give because i cant keep living like this anymore.


thank you for your time, hugs are very very very much appreciated ;;

Big hugs, lanerbanana :hugs:

It’s been a tough year. Hugs x


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thank you both ;; it truly has been a tough year, hasnt it?

my doc's appt got moved to the 7th, my dad's birthday :( i have another appt before then with a different doctor, but im sad that it had to be on my dad's birthday. i hope i'll be okay enough to celebrate both his and my own birthday (my birthday is on august 8th! a day after my dad's)

yeah i hope next year is better for everyone <3

:hugs::hugs:hugs hugs hugs....

Quote:

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Originally Posted by lanerbanana

im tired of just WORRYING over everything. the unknown is one of my greatest fears and i keep staring into it everyday. i don't know what to do anymore, i would give literally anything in order for my life to go back to normal and for me to feel good again. i miss feeling good, i miss feeling carefree, i miss being HAPPY. i feel like crying at the moment because im just so TIRED, and i need something to give because i cant keep living like this anymore.

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I'll never NOT be a serial worrier. It's as much a part of me as my odd coloured eyes... I accept it.

I have a chronic health condition which gives me pain and discomfort most every day.... I accept it.

When it comes to happiness, I've been through the 'How can I feel so ill and ever be happy again? - phase. Yet, some of my happiest moments have been when I've been unwell. The problem was that I was that I was forever comparing my life to the one I had before I developed the condition...

I used to do gardening for hours on end and walk for miles. I could decorate an entire room in a day. I could eat what I wanted. I could have a drink and a laugh. I could put my head on a pillow and know nothing until I woke up the next day. It's all changed, and it will never be how it was. But. I can still garden for a short while when I feel well enough. And I can take my dog for a short walk when my body allows. I can still do my decorating - I just do it one small bit at a time. What used to take a day now takes months. but it's ok. I accept that my body cannot tolerate certain things now, but not being able to eat sugary stuff and drink alcohol is only ever going to benefit my body. I don't sleep well, but I do get to see the most beautiful sunsets...

All I had to do was to stop grieving for what's lost to me, and start to accept what is.

Even on my worst days, I remind myself of how low I've been, and how I got my life back. It's not the life I had, or the life I want, but it is the one I have, and it's up to me to make the most of it.

You are stronger than you imagine. You just have to reframe your thoughts and accept that the future is unknown and the present is all any of us have.

You get on with living, no matter how shit you feel- and anxiety can make you feel very ill. I know this too well.

You accept the crappy bits and never stop looking for the good in situations.

This is how you get control back of your life.

One of the thoughts which helped me when my health anxiety was orbital was this: I'm here now.

You're here now. It's up to you how you live this moment.

All the best.