Health Anxiety Triggered...again.

I have had health anxiety since the late 90's. After the birth of my now 18 year-old daughter, a random health issue of hers came up and I immediately thought the worst. It was sort of an open-ended issue with no clear resolution so that made it worse and I was convinced of the worst. I spent hours and hours obsessing over it. Then I began having ocular migraines and when a CT scan was performed they found some calcification on my brain incidentally and I was convinced this meant something. I thought all sort of things...brain tumor, MS, ALS, etc. Then I went to my doctor once for a routine physical and they found trace amounts of blood in my urine. I was convinced I had bladder cancer. I've spent thousands of dollars on ER co-pays, doctor bills that weren't covered, etc. I've had multiple CT scans, catheters, blood tests, etc. Nothing has ever been found and I was told numerous times that "it's all in your head." Finally, I went on Prozac and this put a stop to it. I would still worry and I was the type that would run to the doctor with anything that there was any question about but when the doctor told me it was okay I accepted that it was okay and moved on. Until now...I went off antidepressants over 3 years ago to have another baby after re-marrying and I now have a 2 year-old boy who is very healthy. I recently showed his pediatrician some spots on his back and she incorrectly told me that they were called something that is a marker for tuberous sclerosis. I went nuts! I visited 5 doctors in 6 days until I got answers I needed. He is fine - thank GOD! Well, now I am worried about something else and it's all I can think about. I am consumed! A couple of months ago I had some random burning "down there." There was nothing to be seen but it burned and I thought I could feel something. I went to the doctor and she didn't see or feel anything but gave me cream and an antibiotic. She diagnosed it as folliculitus but there were no follicles irritated so... But anyway after a week or so it went away. Fast forward to Sunday. I'm in the shower and I feel a bump. It is exactly where my left bartholin gland is. I know this because of what happened a couple of months ago. It's not an abscess, it's not painful but it can be felt and it's not suppose to be felt. It's about twice the size of a pea. Not very hard, just enlarged. Well, of course Dr. Google says that it's probably a cyst but women over 40 should have it biopsied just in case. I am 41. So of course my mind goes straight to worst case scenario. I could have this rare form of vulvar cancer and die in a couple of years! It has a terrible prognosis and very quickly metastasizes! I'll be gone in no time! My babies! Panic! Panic! Panic! Rationally, I know that this probably isn't the case. To make matters worse, my brother who is less than 2 years older than me was recently diagnosed with lymphoma. It was found totally incidentally when he was having an ultrasound for another problem. It's not curable. That threw me for a loop and showed me that crazy sh*t like that can happen! I am getting ready to go on vacation so I will wait til I get back to make an appointment to see the gynecologist. In the mean time I am taking sitz baths 3x a day with Epsom salts and praying it's just a cyst and goes away. Will you pray for me? Thanks for listening :)

I absolutely will pray for you. May peace be with you and may God bless you.

Surprise, surprise! After 3 days of sitz baths, the lump is almost gone. Why do we do this to ourselves? Regardless, now I can vacation at DisneyWorld without this looming over my head. Til next time :/

Lucky you going to Disney World lol

The kids are SO excited! Now I can enjoy their enthusiasm. Thanks for listening & praying :)